A Note from Elder:

At the suggestion of several stalwarts asking when there would be a repeat of the very successful "Ladies Night" party, we will have a New Year's Eve event and celebration of the end of the war. Here are the planned details:

*Party will be on 12/31/08, starting at 2pm SLT to allow more participation by those whose homelands celebrate midnight earlier. Runs as late as everyone keeps partying :) (as an elder, I am likely to crash earlier but count on party animals to carry on)

* Local will be the Party Tent, graciously provided by Kora... the location is safe for all who wish to attention (No weapons and tags should be worn in the tent.)

*The Merchants Guild of Ireem to serve as sponsors, catering with food, drink and display of merchant goods......and perhaps free samples-- garments, food, massages etc.

*Skip Thespian to serve as dance coordinator/choreographer.... recruiting casts of male and female dancers and installing couples dance balls, with dance music

*Have an optional "prey-for-a -day" chase again at about 6pm SLT, with normal preds running and letting usual prey pursue and cap them.

*Inviting guests to state the most memorable event/activity for each in the last year.

*We will announce the 2008 Ireem man and lady of the year at 8pm SLT tomorrow night, decided by popular vote. Everyone may vote by giving your choices to Elder Lubitsch anywhere between now and the announcement of the winners (By IM or otherwise).

*We will celebrate the New Year every hour that it occurs in the homeland of any party attendee......toasts and kisses all around.

*All are welcome to come and contribute to the fun!!!! If you'd like to do something special at the party, address your interest to Elder.


PARTY: 12/31/2008, starting at 2pm SLT and going until it stops :)
LOCATION: Party Tent
PLEASE: Remove all weapons and tags before entering the party tent.

Earlier today while capturing an undead, a weakened Sweet was taken captive by WolfFire Aeon and held for a ransom of 1000 Dinars as well as the offer of another knight from the Order's ranks who would serve the undead for a week. Included along with the note from the captors was one scribbled by Sweet herself, apparently as proof of her capture, insisting that no ransom be paid and no attempt to enter the catacombs be made to rescue her, given the undead's strength in that area.

Sadly, a young but promising knight known as Sakkara Quamar ventured forth into the catacombs, not understanding her enemies' safety in their home, and was killed in a valiant attempt to save Sweeten. (Her body was later retrieved and resurrected by the Mage, KCEE... she will doubtless prove her skill as well as a her bravery in later conflicts)

Sweet was finally freed by the efforts of Dano, who paid the ransom and avoided the exchange of a knight by instead handing over an old undead prisoner of Sweet's, Zafirah Paneer. Sweet is currently free and resting from the ordeal, and has vowed revenge on WolfFire for her capture.

Ringo Villota is looking for Phox Sillanpaa whereabouts.

Please send any info you have. Thanx.

*paid classified*

In a long and bloody battle fought in the Arena of Ireem today... under the eyes of the, "very light of Ireem", our beloved Sultana...(author lowers his eyes) herself... Slaver leader Chris and Undead Lord Aizen defeated Skip and Mj to win the war...

The fighters twirled across the floor of the gritty sands of the arena and after a long pitched battle the bodies of Skip and Mj were left lying in the baking hot sun...

Many of the attendees cried out in horror as the forces of good died heroic but fruitless deaths at the hands of the Undead and the Slaver.

Aizen was heard to cry out in the end... "this is for you Nergal", Chris bowed to the Sultana...

in true Ireem fashion a party was held in the slaver camp celebrating the end to the war and enemies and allies partied late into the Ireemian night...

Now chasing can get back to full swing..

(News reported by Chris Wilder)

Just a reminder to the Camp Leaders and the People of Ireem during this war time.

I only have the ability to treat patients in my office (fully restore the meters to 100% health) in my office. Since food and resource supplies are low during war, I will stay near my office as much as possible over the next few days....(meaning I will not be on rounds for healing).

I have also hired a courier to help be an emergency response person, his name is Majid Axel, he will fly on one of the carpets to bring wounded to my office if needed as well, conditions permitting.

I am here as always to help however I can. Please let me know if you need my care.

Wishes of blessings and good health,




The Sultana of Ireem brought the leaders of the war factions to the palace and demanded an end to the war... rumors of pressure from slaves and prey may have been part of this hastely called peace conference.

The Sultana listened as Aizen, Anne, Dano, Mj and Chris worked out a deal to end the war.

The War will end at 9 AM SLT Saturday.

At 2pm SLT, a arena battle will be held between faction leaders to determine the outcome of the war. Aizen has said that if he is defeated... he will allow Anne to turn him human for 3 days...

Ireem will celebrate the wars end I am sure.. but watch out it continues until Saturday morning 9am SL time...

Ringo Villota is looking for Phox Sillanpaa whereabouts.

Please send any info you have. Thanx.

*paid classified*

In an excellent demonstration of what happens when you piss of the wrong Djinn, Na'ilah summoned forth a swarm of viciously unseasonal flies to infest the Bedouin camp in retaliation for a group of the nomads entering the Djinn realm without permission and eating the dates.

You don't want to see what she does when you track mud into the place...

his War is not over yet but as we had many that did not understand the rules new ones have been set. All players who choose to participate in the War need read and agree to these rules. Then contact one of the leaders and let them know you want your name added to the list of players. If you are not listed as a player in the war you will not be allowed to fight in the battles.

The Rules of War

We have held a war conference, and the leaders of the knights and every predator group except the bedouin, have come to these terms:

1. War will commence at 12:01 am SLT, Dec. 26. (00:01 SLT)

2. Those players who wish to participate in the war must sign up before war begins. Once you sign up, you agree to the following terms:

a. You will change the NAME in your tag to state: WAR to indicate that you are fighting the war. You can keep other text there, as well, but make sure the word WAR is at the beginning, easy to spot in the heat of battle.

b. Once captured, you will remain captured, or will change your tag to state: INJURED - OUT OF WAR. Once you are out of the war, you will not fight any of the battles. If a knight, you may continue to protect prey at that time, but may only attack the war enemies in that case. Please be very conscientious on this point, so there are no problems that the leaders have to step in to handle.

c. Except for the djinn, follow your group leader's by taking whatever side in the fight they determine. If you are slaver, fight with the Undead. If you are Magi, fight with the Knights. If you do not wish to take these sides, either wait the war out, or consider changing tags if you want to fight. The djinn may choose sides, but please indicate in your tag, which side you fight on. We are assuming the dungeoners will fight on the side of the knights.

According to kos rules, players do not need to participate in group activities, but MUST NOT interfere with them. If you are not fighting in the war for your own team, do not fight for the opposing team unless you change tags.

3. Each group will have a chain of command posted on the group blog. If the group leader is not online, decisions can be made by the second in command.

4. No fighting in the city. The citizens will not take part in this war. If your opponent runs to the city to eat, DO NOT FOLLOW HIM. Eating is okay. Fighting in the city, for the purposes of this war, is not.

This is a very important point, as fighting in the city causes confusion with the citizens which, while it might provide interesting RP, is not something we can easily deal with during this war. NO FIGHTING IN THE CITY for purposes of this war.

5. Report your wins to your group leader, so the numbers can be properly tabulated, when we determine the winning side.

6. Feel free to kill Jonathan Moriarty at any time, for his failure to choose a side for the bedouin. No safety for Switzerland.

7. Failure to adhere to the rules will result in penalties by one's own group, as determined by the group leaders. This might pretty much mean just getting the stuffing kicked out of you by your own group, which will be very unpleasant, so please please please play a good game and don't cheat!

The group leaders want a good game. And sure, we want to win, but we are not willing to cheat for a win. Do not cheat, and we'll have a better game.

8. The winning side will be determined by the group leaders, and we will also decide when the war is to be finished.

9. There will be prizes for the best players. Others may offer prizes as well, but I personally will award:

$1000 k for the one with the most enemy captures (yeah, yeah, Con, that will probably be yours...)

$1000 k for whoever captures Aizen and brings him to the tower so we can bring him back to life and save Ireem!

I understand there is some kind of petty battle to be engaged in upon the sands. All factions have taken sides it would seem, but the request to the Djinn "leader" as it were has gone unanswered.

Understand that our people follow no code, we aid whomever we please. As far as I am concerned the knights still owe me for the last bit of assistance I gave them against the undead. The healing I gave knight Ash was not a free offer. The fact is this; if the undead want a djinn as an ally they need to ask individually, not one who claims to lead our kin.

I do not speak for the rest of the creatures here that call themselves djinn, but I speak for myself and any others who understand the ways of magic. You can not decide which direction the wind blows, but you can fan at it as an attempt to bring it your way.

In short; requesting the aid of the Djinn from one that calls themself the "Leader" of our kin is like yelling at fire. The only thing you will get from it is scorched lungs.

Yours truly
The Wind.

I write this to the chronicles in hopes it will be posted for all to read.

As one of my customers only the other day said, there are Knights, and then there are Knights. My Inn bears the name, The Good Knights Inn, and has long been a haven for them, but am I to blindly support anyone who calls themselves a knight? A thief could walk in and declare himself a knight, but that does not make it so. I have never been a knight, and I have never been approached by the knights for any sort of exclusive business arrangements. So I treat all my customers fairly, even handedly, and I set those rules by my own moral standards, so long as it falls within the Palace's laws.
Yes I am a law abiding citizen, even if I carry a sword and use it to effect, it is always within lawful defense. How can I uphold the law? By setting an example, instead of letting any one man or woman declare themselves ABOVE the law.

If an undead drags his conflict into my Inn, I kick him and everyone involved out. If a knight drags his conflict into my Inn.. I do the same, why? Ask yourself first, why would a knight purposefully drag his conflicts into my Inn repeatedly when I ask him to keep it outside? Why would he needlessly endanger an Innkeeper and her staff and customers just to grab a mug of ale?
Others might tell you, he was wounded, he needed rest.. if it was so, he should come to the back, lay down and put up his weapon if he is so badly wounded he needs to remove himself from the fight. I also feel it is important to note when that same knight came back later, and put up his sword and sat peacefully, we defended him as a lawful and proper customer here at the Inn, when an undead tried to attack him.

I am not perfect but I call it as I see it, and anyone who shows due respect for my staff and my livlihood, will be well received at the Good Knights Inn. Anyone who shows blatant disregard for my Inn, my staff or my customers, will receive a swift kick out the door - knight or undead, I don't care. No one asked my permission to have a war on my doorstep, so as far as I'm concerned, hostile is hostile.

In short: Fight your own wars and stop trying to hide behind my skirts. I won't condone anyone bringing their fight into my Inn, and by the same token, I won't condone anyone abusing that rule to hide from a fight when they are about to lose!

Lady Drasyndra
Owner of the Good Knights Inn

chaos in the city!
Knights Inn owner and bouncer both bad talk to the knights about having their swords drawn and running in there too eat during battles. The owner even said she would kill anyone bringing a fight in there, even if it was a sick knight trying to eat to save his or her life. The undead and slavers were fighting the knights and guards a bit today and guard Dalilah ran to eat in the Knights Inn, she was very hungry, and a slaver and undead both ran in after her attacking her, she did get captured by Chris the Slaver, oh dear Allah help her. Later knights were trying to help as well as run the undead out of the city to protect the citizens since the undead and slavers were threatening to kill them all lately, and the Knights Inn employees only scoffed and yelled at them to leave. The knights, only trying to protect the citizens over this battle, were told not to come into the Inn with their swords, yet they could not leave them outside for they would be killed. The undead and slavers of course would just steal the goodies and food. So are the knights not allowed to eat at their own Inn when needed in a battle anymore?

Sir Dano is Killed; Battlelines are Drawn

It is with sorrow in my heart that I bear bad news for all the people of Ireem.

War has begun.

The Undead have driven us down a course that cannot be altered. By slaughtering the knights leader, Sir Dano, in front of all of Ireem, they have marked the battle lines.

And this, just one day after the Undead elected their new leader.

This bodes ill for all of us.

Never, in all my time in Ireem, have I seen the knights so furious and determined. They seek all Undead, and all Undead supporters.

We understand that the slavers will join the Undead. In fact, we understand that the slavers offered an alliance with Undead even before this horrible act was committed.

The Magi will assist the knights in any way we can, of course. And we hope the Dungeoners will do the same, despite their lack of official leadership.

The bedu refuse to ally with either knights or undead. Therefore, we believe they will be attacked by both groups.

We await word from the Djinn leader, Nakira, but we assume they will assist the Undead, as they usually do.

We all offer this advice to the citizens of Ireem -- do not attack the Undead or any other predators except in matters of self defense. If Undead are causing a problem in the city, call knights, magi, or dungeoners for help.

This war is not one the citizens should be involved in. Stay safe. Keep your children home.

This is war. And when Aizen is finally captured, I will throw a fabulous party, and you will all be invited!

~Anneliese Wolfenhaut,
Magi Leader,
on behalf of the Good Guys

I was not there this time, but it was reported to me in great detail and I will do my best to let you, the readers know. If I misprint..please correct me in comments.

It seems the Undead are definitely on the warpath, this time Damien crucified the Knight Leader, Dano, great pain and anguish was witnessed by all who were there, and many threats were given.

Dano kept screaming out that he would not be broken, and by all accounts, I seriously believe he was not.

Aizen and a few of Damien's contempories did leap into the fray and help in the torture/mutilation of Dano,while his Knight friends could do naught but stand around and watch, every move made was dealt with in swift fashion by more pain to Dano.

How will the Knights respond to this, their leader, on his knees, torn and bloodied by the undead? Will they strike back? Should the undead watch their backs?

Frankly the undead are scaring even this editor, and that's a rare sight to see, their boldness is becoming more and more apparent as time passes. Beware everyone, watch your backs!

- Tre

Seems to carry with it strange tunes and soft music, that softly pulsating , throbbing beat that can capture your mind, your senses, your spirit, and your belly, if you take the time to let it be heard by your ears.

I met a Magi today, I can not quite recall his name, but be sure if you meet this Magi, you will be honored if he stops to give you a bit of his tales. He seems to have the power to allow you to relax, let the music of the wind carry through you, clear your mind of stress and anxiety.

A stranger to Ireem, but perhaps he can be enticed to stay in our city, his magic is powerful, I experienced it, and came away very glad I did.

Hear the music of the wind...discern what it has to tell you, close your eyes, relax, and be carried away at times to the soft comfort of the music of our times.

- Tre

Text of the invitation:


Everyone welcome to come celebrate the wedding of Drako Sirnah and Dalilah Sirnah in the tent event at KOS on Sunday the 21st at 2pm SL time.

Joining these two together will be the fun and cheeky Dinky and we hope all our friends can join us! Come alone, bring a friend, or a date perhaps!


Dalilah's famous apple vanilla tea will be available upon request as well as a full bar. Roast Duck and Rice (with no sheep eyes) will also be served and a special "Eye of Newt" for the undead. Desert is Apple Pies and Crumb Cakes.

We hope you all come to support us and enjoy some fun! If you don't show up and have no good reason I will see you later in my dungeon. -grins-
Thank you everyone!



DAY: Sunday Dec 21st (Tomorrow)

Dinky turns into a Rat… New Way to Transport Slaves Found..

In strange turn of events… Dinky the troublemaker has found her way into even more trouble the other day. The slaver, Chris, fought and captured Magi Leader Anne in a hard-fought battle in the desert. (Well, hard for Anne as she got slaughtered…) Anyway… back to the story.. Chris then, upon seeing Jailer Dinky running from a herd of people and seeing that she had many wounds, captured her as well. And ordered both Dinky and Anne to the auction area.

Anne begged for her release and Chris gave her one option… turn Dinky into something small that would allow him to transport even more slaves by ship, and to make her into something that would entertain him during the long, lonely knights in camp.

Anne, looking at Dinky's hot bod, and realizing that Chris pretty much just said that this was not something he found "entertaining", had a bright idea, and attempted to turn Dinky into a man.

The spell did not turn out as expected, however, and instead turned Dinky into a small rat. “PERFECT!” exclaimed Chris.. “this is just what I need!” An interesting side effect of the spell left many female Knights and prey screaming for their lives at the sight of the cute little furry Dinky rodent (except for Beach who was seen petting Dinky). Anyway, the spell was broken later by the eating of many oranges which returned the pretty girl to her normal hot self… (note to self: check to see if Dinky still has a tail… Tre please take that note out with your normal careful editing..)

So prey, if the slavers are transporting you watch out!

Monday, 15 Dec .

Kadiara Jewell, the noted baker of Ireem, claims that a slaver recently attacked her. She described the miscreant as a dark-haired woman (not all that helpful in detail). In retaliation, she is refusing to sell food to slavers.

When Chris Wilder, Drako & Dalilah Sirnah & Daphne Mortenwold fought past the bakery this evening, trying to grab food as they passed, the brave little Kadiara threw boiling water on Chris ... twice!

Then she grabbed her scimitar (Where did she get such a thing?) & chased after the wicked slaver. As Dalilah fought him, Kadiara got in a few strokes.

A few moments later, when Chris came back by the bakery, Kadiara was able to drive him off without his being able to eat. She was possessed by some demon djinn, obviously, since normally she is very quiet & gentle.

Slavers, beware! No more fresh bread or pastries at the slaver camp! (And who would have the audacity to attack Kadiara?)



Oh, no! When the first fight was done, Chris Wilder came to Kadiara's bakery and threatened her. "Sell to the slavers or die," or words to that effect. His companion Raddick Szymborska argued that she had a point, but Chris did not wish to hear this. Elegia Underwood suggested perhaps someone could find the offending slaver & ask her to apologize, but Chris spat, "That's what jailers are for."

When he insisted again that she sell food to slavers or die yet again, Kadiara refused & threw more hot water on Chris. This precipitated an enormous tumult that went on for ages involving knights, dungeon guards & slavers. Even Kadiara got involved, furiously running about & waving her scimitar as if she knew what she was doing with it.

Unfortunately, her inexperience brought about her capture by aarnout Qunhua who had only just been unfrozen from being capped by Drako Sirnah. In the end, they were traded for each other's freedom.

Eventually, aarnout, assisted for a time by one of his slaver buddies, was able to capture the stroppy, sharp tongued bard from the palace. He was so exhausted however that he fell asleep while she played the oud for him & finally let her buy herself free.

And a good time was had by all!

Lately I have heard myself saying "Im too old for this" far too often, and I hear people saying that I am too old to jump, to drink, to run, to fight... and I proved them all wrong for some time, but I cannot escape the facts of life, I AM old, and I am tired. I gave all I had, and now its time for someone younger and full of life to take over this hard, but comforting task. I am not leaving Ireem, and of course Im not leaving the slavers, I will go back to my first loves, teaching Kung Fu, and gardening. Thanks to all who supported me, and for the love of god DO NOT STEP ON MY FLOWERS ! ! (located on slavers hill)

Wong Fei Hong

What fun this was, we had preds dancing, stripping, offering massages, pretty much entertaining the ladies and keeping us all hot and bothered.

OneKoolBud was going around with his hands and mouth,keeping us all on our toes as we tried to keep track of where he was, what a hottie, who knew! MJ and Skip were up on the stage along with Timshonn, dancing away and slowly removing their clothing , piece by piece, while Sage mezmerized the room with her slick moves, god what fun.

We all got to see Kah's private bits finally and Kad de-veiled her face after a few drinks, wow!

I won't comment on Kah's bits...some things are better left to see for yourself.

I had to leave early but I hear Drako Sirnah won sexiest ass! And the preds then became prey for a few hours to give the prey even more fun.

All in all this party was a huge success and great kudos go to Elder and Skip for throwing it, if I forgot to mention anyone, please....comment here, my eyes were pretty focused on the delectable flesh being exposed and of course..on something pink with ribbons swaying about.

- tre

Remember, Ladies' Night begins in about 35 minutes!

Kadiara has provided a menu for the occaision:

Little spinach-and-garlic puff pastries
Spicy chicken and artichoke hearts in little pita pockets
Steamed cauliflower with creamy tahini

Lots and lots of pita crisps and Falafel for dipping into:
Spicy Pepper Paste with Walnuts
Tomatoes, Cucumber, and Tahini Dip

Fresh fruits for dipping in little bowls of the rare and exotic Chocolate Sauce
(especially good with bananas)

Little Apricot-and-Almond Pies
Little Date-and-Walnut Pies
Honey-glazed cinnamon puffs
Chocolate-drizzled Chocolate Cake bites

(Yes, chocolate didn't make it to Europe from the Aztecs until the 1600s, but this is fantasy, eh?)

EDITOR'S NOTE: Leave it to our Ireem's baker to create the fantastic and wonderful for our enjoyment! Thanks Kadiara!

It seems Damien Sack is back, and what a way to return, capturing a knight..Ash Kelly and removing one of his fingers ((maybe more I crashed)) and both of his eyeballs, one for himself and one for his brother!

The folks of Ireem were quite appalled by this display of flesh tearing and bloody cutting, but let's remember who did it..the undead, who after all...are flesh eaters, should we really be so surprised?

There were insults thrown, threats given, one outspoken little slut, Aurora Potez decided to try and insult all and sundry and did get into quite a heated battle of words with MasterJ before her owner Sos or maybe her slave Sos, tried to step in and help her, which didn't do much good. Heated words were given, threats were tossed down, and all the while, Damien was selling Ash on the block!

Sir ..um I forget his name now... did say to bring him right to the djinn realm and he could be healed, I wonder if this is a good idea while our Kerri is out and feeling so ill.

May the Knight heal, may tempers that flared be soothed, and please...everyone remember, this is a community.

- tre

New KOS Video on youtube "harem dreams episode 2"



It's been brought to my attention by anonymous reports that the palace is being invaded by snakes, of all sorts, but mainly cobra's.

Please be careful as you wander the palace halls, keep an eye out for these shakes, we are not sure yet if they are dangerous or not.

Will not be performed over the next few days, Kerri is not feeling well and needs some rest, if you need her services you can find her in her offices in the palace.

I was passed this note by a very frazzled and insane looking girl awhile ago, telling me of the strange events in our kingdom. It, like many dangerous and secret things, was lost in the depths of the Ireem Chronicle's offices, until I happened to run across it while I was under Mistress Tre's desk lick... err, cleaning something.

State of emergency!!! - Is everyone going crazy in Ireem?

Something strange and weird is in the air! Ireem seems to go through a vicissitude the city did not see before! Brothers and friends become enemies, knights become Bedouin or undead, preys are going preds (in disguise) or even yell for being kidnapped?? Of course only when they don't fall asleep on a hill or are going to get pregnant!!! Or both! Where the hell have all the slavers gone ? Whenever you take a look in their camp, everyone is snoring and grunting down there...
And who uses the word "vicissitude?!", anyway?

People of Ireem, what is happening here? Is Magi leader Anneliese the only one, who stands up for the good old manners and values of our lovely place? (*/* TRE: Source said Anne had good manners, clearly delusional, do we want to print this? */*) On good authority it is emerged that a prey, known as lil' troublemaker running around and yelling "It's my hill " did not respect her words in any way! When the Magi leader tried to explain her the hill is property of Ireem and belongs to our beloved Sultana, she answered...and I quote "pffffffffft....." (Editor's Note: Actual Quote.)

Our kind-hearted Anne was of course absolutely shocked about this behavior and insult of our beloved queen and intended to bring her to the Sultana for speaking about the horrible irreverence . Together with strong Bedouin Brave she tried to get the little menace. (*/*Replace with "Enemy of the state", get quote from Delilah and Drako about tortures to befall the little bitch..*/*)

The prey outrightly ran into knights camp where wonderful and incredible knight Bikku jumped in to help the poor chased girl. (*/* Check on rumors that the girl played molesty-toy with Anne's boobs.... unspoken attraction or does Anne's magic make them hypnotic? */*) After capturing Anne the situation turned as a big argument started and all stubborn and obstinate people yelled out loud "What happened!...in their opinion... "

[That Sexy Delicious Piece of Ass] Knight Bikku tried to smooth ruffled feathers (*/* Was Anne a giant chicken? Check on this */*) and talked with the two arguing females. They did not come to any conclusion... of course not.... but in the end both were free (*/* TRE: Is YOUR end free, or do I have to insert a dinar? */*) to go, everyone in contrary direction.

The amused listening citizen (*/*Change to "annoyance*/*) of Ireem who brought this episode to the chronicles announced to have heard lovely Anne saying..and i quote again..."this menace needs a lesson ! i promise i will get her one day !" (Editor's Note: Sounds like Anne, she always says that before yelling for Lancelot to let her ride his pony.)

The chronicles will stay in close contact with the anonymous informant (*/*Again, Change to "annoyance*/*... and how does she know what we're doing?) to get the latest news about what will happen when lovely Anne and the lil'troublemaker will meet again. Owned for a few days but not tamed yet, the prey is now free again and the hunt to teach her a lesson is opened! (*/* Did we charge her our standard advertising rate? */*)


NOTE TO SELF: Remove editorial notes before posting..

In the spirit of the holiday season, Elder Lubitsch and Skip Thespian would like to give back to the women and the prey we chase and torment all year long by putting on a little "show" next Sunday, December 14, at 4PM PST.

We are calling this event "Ireem Ladies Night" and have assembled a large group of Ireem's hottest preds for your viewing pleasure.

There will be several activities planned from the wild to the mild, including a strip tease by the sexiest of Ireem's pretty boys, and the first annual "Ireem's Best Ass" contest. You might also get to spank your favorite pred, have an intimate slow dance with him, or possibly get to massage those bulging muscles!

There are sure to be a few other surprises in store so be sure not to miss this. There will be food provided by our beautiful baker Kadiara and Elder will provide the beverages.

Remember, this is all in good fun and should be a special treat for the ladies (and not so ladylike) of Ireem. Write it on your calendars - Sunday December 14 at 4PM PST, in the Event Tent.

If you are interested in more information, or wish to part of the show (female preds are welcomed), please contact Skip Thespian.

Updates and New Developments:

*The Merchants of Ireem were honored to be invited to an audience with her Majesty, the Sultana. Svetlana arranged the meeting where Elder, Kadiara adn Bryselle attended to represent the Merchants, and key palace staff and Prince Karala (Paw) joined the group. The Merchants expressed our loyalty to the Sultana, and some concerns about violence in the city. The Sultana stated her appreciation for our efforts and concerns, asked a few questions about forms of entertainment offered (thankfully not belaboring her dislike of alcohol) The audience included a gift from Kadiara of fresh baklava, which was dutifully tested and tasted before eaten by the sultana (good security after the poisoned tea incident)

*NEW SHOP OWNERS: In the past month the ownership of several shops/businesses. Now Drasy Denimore runs the Knight Inn; our new blacksmith is Artephius Serpente; Bryselle Mc Callen has the Night Club by the Dungeon: and Acies Exonar replaced her as librarian. Mora Lewinter is Seamstress and sometimes displays hand -crafted silks in teh courtyard beside the Hammam Baths.

After Baker Kaidara was attacked, reportedly by slaver Ariel, while innocently delivering pastries, and then Healer Kerrina slashed by Slaver Am, while she was providing medical care . Merchants individually and as a group are begining a series of escalating responsive actions such as barring individual offenders from
goods/services, and possibly extending it to entire groups that condone such violence against merchants and in the city streets. We also appeal to the leadership and decent, brave members of each group to urge their companions to avoid such cowardly behavior, and repudiate those who do, rather than blaming the victims.
Finally, the merchants are very appreciative of the successes of selected knights and city guards in reducing street crime recently...adn look forward to official announcement that the Bath House murder has been solved.

[Comments by other Merchants and groups are highly encouraged]

Bedouin Chris Wilder lost a bet with Slaver Leader WongFei and will serve as a slaver for the next 2 weeks.. Wilder was disappointed in his loss but says that with the Bedu camp so crowded these days he may be able to make more money.... even if his heart is still with the desert...

A story was given to me earlier by Dalilah, a rather entertaining if shocking one.

It seems the lead slaver, Wong, was seen this day approaching Lady Chantalle and composing a sonnet to her...which was recorded in memory and given to me word for word...below are his words..

"Shake dreams from you hair, my pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day, and choose the sign of your day, The day´s divinity. First thing you see... A vast radiant beach, in a cool jeweled moon. Couples naked race down by its quiet side, and we laugh like soft, mad children. Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy, The music, the voices all around us. Choose they croon the ancient ones. The time has come again, Choose now, they croon beneath the moon, besides an ancient lake. Enter again the sweet forest.... Enter the hot dreams, come with us."

I am told that at this point Lady Chantalle grabbed at Wong and demanded sex, while Wong wanted to be paid in donations...what happened from there is anyone's guess.


To the Precious People of Ireem,

Salaam to you I hope to find you in good health today.

I wasn't going to respond to any of this but goodness you guys, why is this something to fight about?

First of all, I am not a ninja! I would probably cut myself with a big blade like that and I have no combat training! *giggles*

Secondly, I 'do' have my only weapon, it is a syringe filled with things you hopefully shall never need to experience or know of, but know that it will stop an assailant and render them very uncomfortable for days. I began to carry it after I was captured and because of the assassin guy. Also, I try not to burden anyone anymore if I am being attacked I try to just handle it myself. However, I couldn't get to my syringe readily at the time, but under our dear Anne's suggestion I will certainly remember to keep it closer.

And Thirdly, come on you guys! let's just play and have fun, isnt that why we are there anyway!? I will continue to heal absolutely anyone and everyone who ever needs me no matter the risk to my 'life', who they are, what they have or haven't done or where they are!

I seek to save life and preserve it and offer compassion to any and all who are in need at all costs. I will first do no harm unless under severe diress of death or threat to the Sultana. This is and has always been my simple rp.

I am grateful for all those in all groups throughout the realm who offer me their protection as gratitude for their medical care when they cannot pay me monitarily or that they offer to me freely and also for the welcome I am offered to their camps to take care of them and their peoples within.

I will always risk stepping foot out of the palace every day to save and care for each and every and any one of you. I rp to the best of my ability and stay true to my character and her personality and personal beliefs. Many things can be handled through rp just fine, and I am one of many who does enjoy richly detailed rp. Please respect my rp nature and basic beliefs and customs of typical conduct as I will continue respect and enjoy interacting with yours.

I care for all of you more than you probably realize, and I cannot bear to see such fighting. Please, please stop fighting and now lets just have some rp fun!

Wishes of good health and hugs,




BEWARE all those joining the undead (voluntarily or involuntarily) soon there may be no turning back!

Having been attacked and defeated by Aizen the undead I knew it was only a matter of time before I was to be sacrificed and made a zombie myself. Not wanting to leave the Bedouin (or the living for that matter) I turned to the kingdoms healer - Kerrina. Thankfully she equipped me with an Elixir Vial which would save me from being forever bound to the underworld.

However on hearing this news a now enraged Aizen leashed and dragged me into the catacombs. He strapped me to a tomb before proceeding to hack into my leg with a sharp blade. He is planning to use my now immune blood to begin creating an antidote. This will make it impossible for anyone (including the magi) to resurrect the dead.


Written by a severely wounded Sundance Teardrop

You preds better get off your duffs and fix this, we can not have Virgins in Ireem, it's blasphemy!

Below is a list of a few who claim they are still Virgins in Ireem....

Porcelain Yuhara
Ribbon Liebster
Jaril Rexen
Jonathan Moriarty

Last night while the slavers slept, their camp was taken over by an odd combination of some of Ireem's finest....there were Knights, Bedu, Dungeon Guard, Undead, Djinn, and prey partying hard into the night. There were beautiful women dancing, a flying slug, and some friendly sparring...FYI, Fred the slug is a cheater. As you can see in the pic...Sexy Undead Tobi Etzel and uber hot Knight Urso Kronsage joined in the dance and proceeded to strip as the ladies threw money at them...have they found new careers?

Appeal to Lady Kerrina, and the rest of Ireem:


prey pretending to be predators
the sanctity of our camps
"immunity" from the normal dangers in life for healers.

I strongly urge the people of Ireem to lay off Am. In my opinion, he did nothing wrong, except perhaps refrain from killing a spy who continued to make trouble, even after being captured for questioning.

From what I understand, the prey, Inti, while dressed in a very flimsy slaver disguise, tried to interfere with Am while he was disciplining a slave in his camp.

Am attacked Inti for it, and captured her. Wong, the slavers' leader, had no problem with that, especially since Inti is NOT a slaver, but rather was apparently a spy or something much more sinister. The slavers clearly had reason to wish to question her about her motives and activities in their camp.

Inti appeared to be in fine health when I saw her, very soon after the fight. But the fact is, that Am had captured her while Inti was armed, wearing a stolen slaver's sword. She was his captive. He owned her. It was his right to punish her as he saw fit.

She is lucky she was not killed and thrown to the sharks, in my opinion. She was playing a very dangerous game, and was completely unprepared for the consequences of her actions.

While Inti was captured, Kerri tried to interfere in the slavers' camp. She was ordered to leave, so Am could deal with the prey-disguised-as-slaver, and she refused. Then Am attacked her as she would not leave otherwise.

We are predators. We are fighters. If prey wish to steal predator's clothing and weapons, they should not complain when they get the stuffing beat out of them. Normally we cannot demand our captor allow the healer into the camp to treat us. We're lucky, when we lose a fight, that the captor doesn't slit our throat and be done with it.

If an interloper invited the healer into the Magi Tower while I was questioning him or her, to understand exactly WHY they were disguised in Magi clothing, and the healer tried to interfere, I would probably do as Am did.

Order her out, and hit her with my sword, and capture her if she refused to respect the sacred space of the tower.

Lady Kerrina has been attacked before. She was kidnapped and hidden away for days by a slaver, beaten and drugged. Undead have attacked her. Others have as well. She even had an assassin hunting her down, having followed her from other lands.

To expect that all must follow some code of ethics regarding one healer, is a bit... well... delusional. There are crazy people in Ireem. There are angry and selfish and greedy people in Ireem. There are undead MONSTERS in Ireem. I would not let my infants crawl the streets of Ireem, unprotected, and expect that every stranger they meet will "do the right thing" and not harm them.

Perhaps you all have noticed the Sultana wandering around, unarmed and unprotected?

No? You haven't? That's because she's wiser than that. Sure, in a perfect world she should be ABLE to wander her own city unprotected. But the reality is that if she does so, she will eventually be hurt.

I have never once, since picking up my sword the first time, been foolish enough to walk the sands without it at my side. If I did, and I was captured and abused, I would have no one but myself to blame.

Lady Kerrina MUST know by now that slavers, especially, cannot all be trusted to be gentle with her.

After the last attack on her, I strongly advised her to carry a sword and learn how to use it.

Once again, Lady Kerrina, I urge you to take more responsibility for your own welfare. Carry a sword. Get knights to teach you to use it, or buy lessons from WongFei.

No woman should be without defense in any part of this world, healer or not. Either have a constant guard, or learn to protect yourself.

Wandering alone as an unprotected, potential easy victim is creating animosity between knights and predators. In fact, one might question whether you seek more injured fighters to treat, and starting a war is one way to ensure you get them.

Promote peace. Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

Our fine healer was summoned today to the slavers camp, a slaver needing attention to her wounds.

She approached the camp, ready to do her magical healing and help another human when suddenly she is spoken to by a male slaver...Am. He demands she sit down and stop healing the female slaver. Kerri obviously refuses, as she is not one to take orders from the slavers and is there simply to do her job as our healer and heal the wounds of someone who's been hurt in god knows what types of battle.

The female, Init, tells Am to back off, he refuses and starts pushing Kerri...man handling the sweet lady who spends her days being nothing but helpful to the citizens of Ireem!

At which point he is challenged to a fight...by Init, who just wishes to get him to leave Kerri alone do so her job, Am wins and Init is hurt, as Kerri starts to work tirelessly on her wounds..Am proceeds to slash into Kerri, rendering her flesh into weals of bloody ribbons as she was not able to defend herself in any way at that point.

Kerri has at this point fallen to the ground, almost unconscious and some kindly men carry her to her office, where she is fed kanda and drugged so that alcohol can be applied to her wounds and stitches sewn to her flesh to allow it to heal.

The sweet Kerri is at this time of writing this article..dancing in the cafe, bloodied, bruised, and drugged, trying to heal herself, please do stop by and give her well wishes, while spitting at the feet of the slaver who dares to attack this woman who strives to keep us all together!

- Tre


There appears to be a slaver who would prefer to be seen as upstanding, rather than more like his contempories who are seen as dirty,low lying scum.

I've had chance to speak to this slaver, whom we shall call Raddick, just in the interests of those reading this. He seems a man of much honor, solely interested in the money to be made off slave flesh than in the using of said flesh. Could this slaver perhaps be....what's the word I seek here..not incompetant..but...hrm..it will come to me in time, the word for ...not being able to be aroused by the more baser instincts many men hold.

By all accounts, this man seems to be very easy to deal with, as long as you feed him plenty of dinar and don't delve too deeply into conversation and wit. He is simply not interested, so don't waste your time.

Raddick...one of the most eligible bachelors in Ireem, who will be lucky enough to interest this man and show him the baser instincts can be just as pleasureable as those of the filling of your gold coin pouch.

He says what he means and he means what he says, so if he tells you he's going to do something..count on it.

All in all, my time with him was pleasant enough, rumors of him running from Sage back to his camp were told to me to be false, he claims he was simply ignoring her and wanted nothing to do with her at the time.

Oddly..I believe him, though who could turn down a tryst with the delicacy we all call Sage, he must have had an off day of course. God knows as a slaver he's probably one of the best out there in terms of "selling" for his clan.


... and once again, events in Ireem prove it's never a dull moment with the Bedu around as long as they have their livestock handy.

It seems that Dalilah the Jailer kept touching and huging Chris Wilder's girl, Olive, in random shows of affection that were offensive to the Bedu. Chris challenged the jailer to fight for her honor as a result of this affront, although Dalilah refusted the challenge, leaving Chris with no choice but to punish his slave for her transgressions.

The Punishment: He locked her overnight in the sheep's pen in the bedu camp. Although, he DID at least stand guard to make sure she was safe.

Dalilah Sirnah made this comment shortly after the incident: "I believe Chris needs to come to cope with his insecurity issues, when his woman hugs another female he should not mind..... I believe he is going through a mid life crisis so I forgive him"

Asked about her feelings regarding the punishment, Chris's girl wasn't shy about her opinion: "Obviously I am not happy about being locked in the cage with that damn sheep of his...it stinks...and to top it off, I was in a pair of my favorite silks and I don't know if I'll ever get the stink out of them or my hair...damn bone headed bedu...."

Asked to comment on his feelings about the sheep, notable Bedu Sir Jordan responded by rubbing his crotch....

... I didn't ask any more questions. There are some things this humble reporter doesn't want to know.

PLEASE NOTE: Candidate Chatomen Carlberg has dropped out of the race, and as such has no responses here. However, in exchange, we've added responces from faux Knight Candidate Stinky McWinkleShorts for your reading pleasure.

1. First and Foremost, please describe the Knight's code of honor, in your own words. Why is this code important?

DANO WYLIE: The knights code, the very base of what i Knight is. It is this code that sets who he or she is, the standard by witch they can judge them selves.

SERAF CLIP: The Knights code is a way of life for the Knights. Thats what we must follow and honor.. and act as the code says. It is what makes them an honorable knight.

PRIMO BABII: A knight honor its his all exsistences hes life depend on it a knight should always respect who respect them and should help the needy and be curtious to all and make sure he s respected and not to be weak in face of danger

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: The Knights code is important because it defines who we are as a group. It outlines the ideals that we should strive for in our day to day dealings with all of Ireem. The code is very simple and can apply to all situations.
~~~~~ With every action a Knight performs and every word that they speak, a Knight should have these qualities first and foremost in their mind:


It is who we are. All of us are human and we are fallible.
We may not always do the right thing, but the code is a mirror against which we can examine our behavior and thereby improve ourselves. And since we are all unique individuals, we may have different interpretations of the definitions of these words. This is what gives Ireem its color and spice in an otherwise very, drab, brown land and should always be listened to carefully with no prejudgement.

STINKY: Well... I think knights should rule the Night... it sounds the same, so it should be the same. When it's night, everyone should obey the knights, and that's the law. And the Law is Good, because it's enforced by The Knights At Night.

2. Describe the difference between a Knight and a Predator.

DANO WYLIE: That is simple a Knight is one who has come to Ireem with only one goal, to protect those who could not portect them selves. A Predator is just that one who takes what they want wihout regard.

SERAF CLIP: Knights are here to protect the innocent and those that need help and we fight against slavery and uphold the law.. as for the Predators, they try to enslave anyone they gaze upon and want and are against the law

PRIMO BABII: [Primo did not answer this question]

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: Is this a serious question? So many ways to answer this!
I'll bet Sage wrote this question.......

STINKY: Well... if you had to ask me, the knight bathe more often, and we have better campfire songs. The slavers? Huh... all they do is sit around baking brownies. And don't even get me started on the Undead. Why, I even think the Bedouins are all passed out before they start singing the Campfire Songs.

3. As Knight Lead, would you feel that it's desirable to bring the knights into a tighter-knit group? Why or why not? How would you go about archieving your vision?

DANO WYLIE: Yes it is most inportant that the knights work as one. To have the same goals and interest. To this end I would first establish a Councel of Elders. They will wright a Code of Conduct that all knights will be asked to fallow, a code that all knights can live with. These Elders will be there for the Knights in times of need to help with questions of how to porcced when they have questions.

SERAF CLIP: Yes bringing the knights into a tighter-knit would be the best thing to do becouse we need the group work as a team and not indivudualy.. trying to be heros or something.. We are a big family.. and we should be acting like one, helping each other.

PRIMO BABII: yes i will make the round table rules the leader is a stong by the support of his knights i wil rule with a democratic vote on every issue we face and i wil make sure we arent weak and we are all act as one its very important to be a tight nit

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: There is a rumor that the Knights group will soon be divided into different factions. It will be imperative to strive to keep the Knights together as a family. I intend to do this by initiating a structured training program for all new Knights. Our new Knights are hungry for knowledge and friendship and a sense of belonging. I will create a role of "Knights Trainer" for any Knights who may be interested in mentoring a new recruit. This important position will be a proper jumping off point for them to learn the ways of the Knights without having to guess. I have already gathered the necessary scrolls of information that these "Knights Trainer" will need to supply to the new recruits. I hope they will add their own experiences as well. All who enter our ranks will feel the kinship immediately, thus strengthening our bond of family.

STINKY: Weellll....... I believe that we should be our own people, and that my person is King. King of the Knights. At Night. And as King, I'd have them all Bow To My Supreme Power. At Night. During the Day too, actually. It's just the way of things, and how I like it.

4. There is a rule that Knights should only help prey when asked, though I am sure some prey are shy about asking for help. How would you ensure they understand how to request help from the Knights?

DANO WYLIE: The knights need to make them selves better known to the prey. Meet them talk with them show them they are there to help not only when being chased, but after if they have a crule master that would abbuse them they the Knights will step in.

SERAF CLIP: Well maybe handing out notecards to them about what to do if in need of a knights help and than prooving ourselves when they really need help that we do go to their aid

PRIMO BABII: this issue is very hard to deal with dam if you help and dam if you don't i normaly ask and see the reaction of the prey

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: For months, I have kept a special set of scrolls specifically designed for new prey, explaining the finer details of the Knights' role in their lives. As I patrol my rounds, I am diligent in introducing myself to all new prey I see and bestowing these scrolls on them. As a Leader, I will ensure that all Knights will have the same scrolls to be able to introduce themselves to our Flowers of the Sand.

STINKY: Weeeellll... I would cap the prey myself and torture them until they ask for help, then kill everyone I see nearby. Nice and clean and no witnesses. Right, and then I'd sing a campfire song 'cause those make me feel good after trying to keep the peace.

5. Do you believe there's any truth to the rumor that knights are defecting to other camps due to weak leadership and practices?
How can that be changed?

DANO WYLIE: No i do not for a Knight who is truly a Knight in there heart can be nothhing else.

SERAF CLIP: Well that might be true but also we knights have to put up with alot from others outside the knighthood.. constantly giving us a hard time and we have to stay calm and be nice to everyone.. even if they say nasty things at us which is difficult sometimes to hold our temper. Takes alot of selfdicipline to be and stay a knight.

PRIMO BABII: yes defently. we need a strong leader to unite us and mak e us strong and not a prey as we are now not respected in ireem if we support each others as knight instead of standing by our desire for sex and to please a certain women we might be straong and united

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: A Knight may leave their camp for many reasons. Some of which we may never know. If their reason is because of weak leadership and practices, I can foresee these things changing by having this election. The brave Knights of Ireem will now have a direction and focus by having a leader to follow. If I am that leader you can be assured that I will always listen to both sides of a grievance before giving advice. I will always weigh all options before suggesting a road to take. My rules will be strong advice only, for I know that it will always be up to the individual to follow their heart on what they believe is right.

STINKY: Wellll.....There's nothing a few good campire songs won't help. We'll have everyone joining us to become a Knight. And I'll be king, and enforce mandatory campfire songs. Yessir.

6. There have been reports of Knights in the auction area teasing slaves/captured predators that are being sold instead of trying to assist or help them. Is this ever justified, in your opinion?

DANO WYLIE: This is not acceptable in any way as knights must hold them selves to a higher standerd than others. To show disrespect to any is not the way of a knight. Does it happen yes we are all human and some times we do fail our selves.

SERAF CLIP: I've heard about that before but it happens sometimes of which i am not proud of but i sopose they have a personal reason at times.. and teasing like such should be avoidable as much as possible.

PRIMO BABII: i have never heard of it and if that happen i don't agree with it


STINKY: Weell.. I think it builds character and teaches a good lesson. By teasing the poor person on auction, they learn not to piss so many people off. You can avoid doing that by joining the Knights and singing Campfire Songs.

7. How do you feel about knights selling slaves/captured predators on the auction block? Is this fine, or should it be discouraged?

DANO WYLIE: What a knight does whith his or her captives is of thers concern. If they choose to sell them then so be it. So long as the captive is no abused.

SERAF CLIP: It should be discouraged becouse if we would do so we would not be any different from the predators and would be called ones.. and if they have nothing to do with the predators just let them go to show them your honor.

PRIMO BABII: it should be discouraged

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: No one can predict every situation that may arise. But as a general rule, it is a Knights obligation to protect and free (if so desired by the captured) the fair Prey of Ireem. We are outside of the loop of capturing and selling.

STINKY: Weeell.. We need to get money to feed Camell's drinking problem somehow. It's either that or selling naked drawings of Jordina.

8. Any final words for Ireem?

DANO WYLIE: The Knights have always been here in service to the pepole of Ireem and will continue to do so.

SERAF CLIP: Call us if you need help or protection and know were always there for you all.

PRIMO BABII: My final word
I love K O S if it wasn't for K O S
i would ve left sl all together
we need to change few things like the knigh code add few more rules to it

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: Ireem is a city in constant agression at the moment. I believe that fighting is not the answer to all conflict. There are times when a battle is inevitable, but there are just as many times that we can use a greater resource at hand:
Our carefully chosen and crafted words.
Speak to each other, understand one another's point of view so that we may come to live in harmony.

During my brief internment at the Slavers camp, I learned a great deal about how others see the Knights. It is unacceptable to me that we have been so misunderstood. I propose much more communication between camps. As Leader, I would have meetings between all group Leaders to discuss these misunderstandings. All of Ireem would be allowed to attend these meetings.

But, my friends, this agression does need an ACCEPTABLE outlet. As Leader, I would hope to re-introduce the Gladiator Tournaments at Ireem. Controlled contests whereby we may vent our steam in structured battle and test our fighting skills without the anger driving it.

STINKY: Weelll... Ireem should all get together around one big campfire and sing a song. A campfire song. At night. And we can burn our captives on the campfire. It'll smell bad, but at least it'll be fun.


Happy Voting everyone!



It started very simply for me... I saw a group of predators standing around in the desert, probably discussing how much they hate anything having freedom but wishing more prey would simply realize this and walk up to them, offering themselves to be bound and gagged for the good of all, instead of them having to chase after them... I decided to have a little fun with them and bounce circles around the area.... after several minutes of "Hey! Cut it outs!" and other whining, a few of the more industrious members of the group decided to move a few inches in an attempt to catch me. Heartened by this turn of events, I bounced some more, in a different direction this time, which appeared to confuse the poor creatures and chaos ensured among thier social order. Sadly, during this time I tripped and fell on Dungeon Guard Drako Sirnah, who was doubtless as surprised as I was that my hands fell directly into the shackles he was wearing.

Now, I've been captured before in the sands... It's not always pleasant, but what was to follow, I was whollly unprepared for.

Freshly cuffed and dragged, Drako and Main Squeeze Dungeon Guard Daliah Sirnah took me to the Dungeon Cafe and sat me down on a silk pillow with Drako, while Daliah took center stage with a striptease, a sight I was not at all unappreciative of... that girl is hot. (Little did I know at this point just how twisted and evil she was underneath the veil of physical beauty).

Then, the inevitable question from Drako: "Do you like to be tied up?"

I turned scarlet. Ok, here it was, they were going to tie me up, force me into thier dungeon and hang me from the ceiling a few feet off the floor, shackling my legs spread to the sides of the walls before the entire roster of guards in Ireem were invited inside the dungeon, and inside me in whichever manner they cared to experience. I'd be hanging there, limp from servicing the armed forces, covered in smells unknown to reasonable people, pleading for more.... I could hardly wait....

Instead, when I answered in the affirmative and started doing muscle exercises that I was taught to help me become ready to spend the next week of my life being a sex doll, Drako served me some cheap wine, and asked me to tell him about myself... a question that seemed to fall into the depths of the sands, as shortly thereafter they both started running around in circles while silly phantasmal music played in the background. Had they been possessed?! I couldn't understand this strange behavior, but soon thereafter, they spoke the magical word "onigokko" and I was running around in circles too, despite my strong sense of decorum and decenty yelling at me to calm down and behave myself. It was awful! Then they made me dance like a zombie, all while asking "Are you ready to be freed or sold yet?", a question I was unable to answer due to the swirl of insanity and confusion that my profound humiliation had put into my being... I couldn't even beg for my own release when my head turned into that of a giant man, the infamous Dungeon Guard Nhuck Corris, who could cap a prey and kill a slaver just by whistling at them --- The terrors that these guards unleash upon the people of Ireem are unfathomable, particularly the cheap drinks, and cannot be allowed to stand. Helpless girls and boys of the sands, beware of these guards. They are truely demons among the decent people employed by our great Kingdom.

I don't remember how, but I woke up the next morning in the auction area, completely clothed and having an irresitable urge to dance like a Hampster. My recovery will be slow....

(NOTE: Alternate Title possible: "This is what Sage gets for putting her tag on "Easy')

They're gettin' hitched!

There will be a small ceremony at KoS at 7:30pm (we hope!) Eastern (that's New York time for all you furriners). (4:30PM SL time) Feel free to come naked. It will not be a very formal ceremony, with Anneliese Wolfenhaut at Magical Binder for the Handfasting. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Ooo, hand bondage..)

The time is completely tentative, as there have been reports of the happy couple running to seperate corners of the kingdom, screaming something about commitment and cowering when they see members of the opposite sex (or anyone, in Bikku's case). So... really, it could happen anytime tonight, as soon as we can gather the people we need to track them down, tie them both up, and sit them in position. We do it for love :)

Something else do for love is poetry. Here's some!:
Beloved Krist,
Earth to my fire
You steady me
We can blaze alight knowing we have the means
To bring ourselves back to reality.
You are a dream I did not even know I needed.
We balance each other
And I am so in love with you.
Your Bik(ku)

Darling Bik(ku),
I was entranced when we first met but was too shy to say. We drifted apart but came back together. You played hard to get until you saw that I would love you and wait for you to decide. You made my heart jump when you came to me and I am now complete.
Your Krist

Do you have a poem about being partnered? The Happy couple(tm) would like to invite you to share it in the comments section. :)

Have a taste for the pure? Want to corrupt the innocent? By golly..you can, here in Ireem, we have virgins still!

It's been brought to my attention that we have a few virgins running around the sand, good at running, excellent of wit and sharp of tongue to get out of any situation. What , pray tell..could this sweet, succulent flesh be worth?

One of our very own..Isabo Baxton has admitted to me this night that she is of virgin blood still...how long will that last....

Any more of you out there? Let me know, we'll get you taken care of!

- Tre

[taken from the notes of Sage Rosenfeld... ULTIMATE reporter.]

Again with the Mefusulas! Can't a Djinn get any peace? I was peacefully minding my own business hunting down a nubile young lady in the city in order to return her coin purse to her and suddenly these things show up again, engaging the Knight Bluesky Schenker in a fierce battle before the Ireem's Defenders of Horniness, Skip Thespain, Seraf Clip and dashing redheads Enigma Watkins, and Arial Beaumont joined the fray.

Driving the invaders back into the palace courtyard, the all-too familliar random nonsensical jibberish was heard from them, although one of the creatures made clear through careful application of miming that his goal in Ireem was to eat Skip. Asked if he swings that way, The Magi replied in the negative, answering one of the age-old questions that have haunted the man known to Ireem as "Pretty boy". And what morning wouldn't be complete without poor Sage being chased around by a freaky blue manifestation of supreme obnoxiousness yelling "5!nn3r!!!" repeatedly? It's nice to be loved.. and I for one am not letting these glorified village idiots stop me from being loved.. hopefully by multiple partners.

Finally they disappeared from the palace courtyard and scattered, as usual, revealing precious little about thier motivations before doing so.

So for now, Ireem, the exact nature of this threat is still unknown, except for the fact that it's very ugly. As a public service, the Ireem Chronicles has setup an Ireem Virgin Registry for anyone who wishes to declare themselves virgins, and thus not subject to attack by the creatures. So far, the following have added thier names to the list: (Please feel free to use comments for this article to declare your virginity as well)

Chantalle Atlass
Cliona Blaisdale
MasterJ Swashbuckler

So, scary magi spirit things, if you happen to read the Chronicle, you don't need to attack these people. They're virgins. Thank you.


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