EVENT: Battle Football

   "Welcome Citizens of Ireem, today's event will be battle football! Steel Camels vs the Crimson Cobras!!!!!!!"...  "Let the games begin!" shouted Kumeza... those words kicked off the start to a great game of Battle Football!

What is battle Foot Ball... you ask? Both teams are pretty much beating the living day lights out of each other while trying to score goals. And for this rather exciting game it was the Camels vs the Crimson Cobras! The line up for the Steal Camels l; Urso, Rin, Hafa, CD, and Flea! For the Crimson Cobras we had; Damien, Vila, Eve, Noratha, and Plat!

The rules for this game were as followed as stated by the arena's owner; "Rules : Default combat mode, all weapons, abilities, items allowed, If you are killed, please leave arena, if you continue to play with 0 ph, Arena points will be deducted

Arena points reminder : You will automatically get 3 arena points for joining, doubled if your team wins, tripled if you are still alive when you team wins.

A certain amount of arena points willbe required to compete to be arena champion at the end of the summer, so don't be scared to lose. come and have fun..."

Now... back to the bash! The players went at each other with fierceness! Blood going everywhere as blade clashed with skin! All the while the players made fast moves to try to score goals. Urso managed the most goals while Flea made a very tough battle opponent! But all players did an amazing job at... keeping the crowd on it's feet by beating the crap out of each other!

And what was the outcome of this bash?

"Steel Camels Win! Congrats to Urso, the number one scorer , and his fellow teammate, Flea, CD, Rin, and HAFA!"

The Chronicles hopes to bring you more bashing action in the weeks to come! -insert corny sport theme song here-

But win or loose... it is the Undead who get all the shiny bishes!

"The mers can now strip naked and give the end show they promised!  Thanks for everyone support and involvement in today's event, hope to see even more of you next week!" called the owner.

Darn it Pushi! I know this was your doing... Always trying to get us mer nude.

- written by Sayuri

Salaam to my fellow Ireemians!

I once again put myself before you in an attempt to gain management of the wonderul little place we have come to know as the House of Pleasure.

As the self-proclaimed longest running working Courtesan, I can safely assure you have have, over the years, picked up enough skills that each person will learn something new.. Which is why I would like to see seminars and training sessions restored and offered to working Courtesans and to everyone else, as well. I vow to ensure that no bed is left empty at night, and if you are looking for a lovely girl to spend your down time with, I can be sure to have one eagerly waiting for you.

I also long to host competitions and dances, to bring some life and publicity back to the little red-walled rooms of the House.

I feel I am more than capable to make sure you, as the people of Ireem, are kept satisfied and lusty at all time, and I also feel I am more than competent to bring some attention back to the lovely streetwalkers of our City.

So, spare me a moment and go vote for me, Najah Gharam, (Dolorific Resident) for the House of Pleasure Mistress! Thank you for your consideration.

Memoir of a Raider
By: Anonymous

It was like any other day in Ireem.  I awoke from a poor night's sleep with war horns blaring; the call of the raids.  Swept up from my daze, I stood at ready, eagerly awaiting my orders.  My leader, so strong and ambitious, took our large army of 6 men at ready to defeat our enemies, and to take what was rightfully ours.

  The desert was unforgiving on this day, for I recalled how my feet felt as though they had melted against the leather that bound them to tightly.  Nearly sinking through the sand, I marched onward, following my fellows toward the portal that would lead us to our prize.  The portal to the realm of the Djinn.  We jumped, one by one, to that mysterious land to be greeted by our enemies.  Alas!  The creature was sleeping so heavily that they held no challenge for my comrades.  We all showed that creature what for and trudged onward to our prize.

 To our dismay, we hadn't realized how difficult it was to breathe at such a high altitude.  For many of us stood in a daze as tunnel vision had taken hold.  It was as though time and space had suddenly swallowed us whole.  I watched my comrades run about, chasing what appeared to be a small red imp.  We thrashed around wildly in attempt to fell the creature, but the imp eventually found its way to our valiant leader.

  Cries echoed throughout the realm as if we had been trapped within an endless tunnel.  "Who has the bag?"   , the voices bellowed.  It was like a dream as I glanced over my shoulder to see my comrades waving their weapons about as other enemies appeared.  The clash of iron screamed through the thin air as a most impressive battle took place.

  Our strong army could not hold position against the large numbers of enemies who had appeared.  Many of us were subdued and forced to watch on in horror as our glorious leader fell from the heavens.  "This can't be!" I cried as a cold chain was wrapped around my neck.  We had come so far!  How could this be?

  As if time had suddenly stopped, the chain which held me in place tugged me to the edge of the heavens.  The clouds, which I had so dreamed of touching passed me swiftly as I fell to my death.  As the streets drew nearer, I could hear no more as my life had passed before my eyes.  Taking one last breath before colliding with the earth that bore me as one of its children, I wrote this memoir of what it is to be a raider.  Yes.. It was a long fall from the realm and luckily, I had parchment and a pen available prior to my descent.

  I awoke from certain death to find a beautiful dark haired lady standing over me, caressing my body with silver mist which knit my flesh together "You are mine now.." she whispered, and I wondered if it would have been better to die in the fall...

EVENT: Poetry Contest

The Fatted Calf welcomes you all,  we are organizing an event which might enthrall. A Poem contest is written out for everyone to join. So pick up your feather and ink so you might win some coin!

Event: Fatted Calf - Poetry Contest
Time: Sunday 7th of July - Time 11 AM SLT
Subject of Poem: Ireem Royal Family

The rules you say my dear? Do not worry they are near:

- Write Poem and send it to Degani Cascarino
- The Poem can be funny, a roast or something serious.
- Everyone will read their own poem at the event
- If contestant is not able to be there, poem will be read by Degani Cascarino or someone else.
- Winner is decided by the visitors of the Inn + Jury

What is there to win? You might wonder with a big grin.

- Your poem will be published in the esteemed Ireem Chronicles and you will be given an interview regarding your poem.
- 500 shiny coins are there to be won.

A letter, to those most interesting and colourful creatures, the Djinn and the Undead,

I was meditating in the Serpents Tower this morning when I heard a disturbance on the floor below. Naturally I went to investigate, and found there several Djinn and Undead, and some other creatures which I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting.

Indeed I was surprised to find such a large and heavily armed gathering, and more surprised still to find them busily stuffing our food supply in their bags.

Now, I am not unforgiving of a little thievery in dire need, but I am concerned that this pitiable behaviour may have gone unnoticed by the Leaders of these races. It saddens me to find that your people are evidently going hungry.

I do hope that this matter will be addressed, and I personally will be happy to assist in any way I can.

humbly yours,
Magi Healer
Co-Leader of Nosce te ipsum

Onlookers watched, both in curiosity and concern, as a man was shoved into the stocks in front of Ireem's walls to be tortured for committing rape.  Who was this man?  We cannot disclose the names of the culprit or the victim at this time until further investigation, but we can state that the victim is a Slaver, and the assailant; a Dark Knight.

  Witnesses claim that our very own Princess Lexie had approached the scene by horseback to offer assistance in how proper justice could be served for the crime that had been committed.  To serve justice upon a woman who had been defiled forcibly, by choosing a warrior from the Slavers and a warrior from the Dark Knights to battle it out in the arena?  We think not!  Our Princess had since left the man to his captors as justice was served in traditional Slaver fashion.

  One may ask, "Where were our trust worthy Knights?"  Where were they indeed! Yet another woman was taken against her will just yesterday, and was nearly raped right in front of the Knight's headquarters by two sinister looking Magi. Onlookers watched and hoped for some brave warrior to stop these villains.  Luckily for this victim, her kin and allies had arrived in time to stop the madness from continuing on any further.  Was justice served for this attempted crime?  While one of the Magi had escaped, the other was brought in for questioning.  We were somewhat shocked when we had realized one of the assailants was the Leader of the Magi.  He offered no comments as to what had motivated him and his accomplice to commit such a terrible offense in such a condescending manner.

  Surely these two offenses shall provide the motivation necessary for the kingdom to recruit more Knights to protect our citizens! 

~ Reported by Chronicles Street Team

Relaxing on the favourite chair outside, sipping mint-tea, and rubbing the bottom of her  foot over the toe of the other to quell an itch.  Our street reporter Moon stood up immediately hearing the sudden fluttering of wings disturbed.  Looking around she caught sight of the familiar deep pleats of luscious royal silk hakama, said to represent the seven virtues of bushido, it was our dear Editor Lord Kito, walking along the path by the river, hurrying towards the mer isle.  Defeated by curiosity once again, our reporter decided to follow him quietly.

  The silhouette of beautiful female form with flowy long hair standing by the stone statue at mer isle gestured to Lord Kito to follow her.  His steps slowed down as they walked over the slippery path, it would make anyone giggle when they see him walking like a granny as such but surely it is to keep his formal royal attire out of the water.  Hidden behind the pillar outside the alcove they entered, our reporter listened quietly as the lady who led Lord Kito into the cave introduced him to the Mer Queen, Gavriella, and they exchanged greetings.

  Needless to say, when Queen Gavriella said Lord Kito would wish to 'leave the world of the boring leggers' to join them in the waters, our reporter almost fell into the water herself!  What revelation!  Dear Editor Lord Kito, wish to turn into a fishyman?  Not a bad idea at all, the feline reporter couldn't help but smile to think that perhaps every day Office Cat would get a huge basket of yummy fishies.....mmm... His voice echoed from the cave and pulled me out of my sumptuous daydream.  
"I wanted to.... I made a promise to Sayuri that I would protect and be the guardian to her freedom, even if it would take me to the sea and become one of her kin to do so."

  Touched by his noble sacrifice for this lady, our reporter bravely hobbled nearer to peer into the cave.  The beautiful visage came to light and non too surprised to see it was Lady Sayuri!  I have heard only pleasant things said of this lady, and felt good vibes coming off her.  It is no wonder there are many trying to pursue her, and perhaps the one other went overboard with demands for her love that she seek solace from Lord Kito's protection.  As she explained this, the Mer Queen had already began circling Lord Kito, prodding and examining his human form.  He was ordered to remove his shoes and he slips them off, placed the rectangular wooden geta into his pocket.  Too many surprises this day yet this one is much appreciated, for the strong 'scent of a man' that at times the Chronicles staff had to endure sitting by his feet as he worked in the chronicles office, was pleasantly cloaked by a herbal-floral scent, he clearly had washed them very recently.

  "Ah Well..It sounds like a cause oceanus will agree with." the Mer Queen said and began chanting.  She pulled out a piece of silk from her belt then gently draping it around Lord Kito's ankles, readying the knot, paused to ask Lady Sayuri to fetch some sea water and a piece of coral.  Lady Sayuri immediately set off to get the items but not before she would give Lord Kito a small kiss.  His nervous frown was instantly replaced by a dreamy grin and his head turned and followed her outside, clearly smitten.

  Very soon, Lady Sayuri returned with the sea water and coral, and the Mer Queen ordered Lord Kito with a stern voice "feet together", and so he did as a child would obey his mother.  She tightened the silk around his ankles, and with the sea water and coral in hand , she arranged them in different placements and then started to sing a soft blessing over the items, dumped the sea water over his feet, then tied the coral to the binds around his ankle.  The cave ringed with her voice "Close your eyes kito...imagine the ocean, do you feel it embracing you? accepting you?"

  Intriguing as this mystical ritual is, at this point, our reporter was ready to pounce forward to block any harm to Lord Kito.  Horrifying thoughts of the Mer Queen about to slice off his leg was overwhelming yet more infuriating not knowing what is to happen.  His answer "Yes" in an assertive tone somewhat soothed the nerves of our reporter a little.  The different expressions that ran through his face hereafter was not far from what one would see of the performing artisans trying to impress for a role.  Worrying yet comical to see, and overcome with the duty of reportage, our reporter rooted to the ground where I stood at a loss.

   Without warning, the Mer Queen and Lady Sayuri each grabbed hold of one arm and one foot of Lord Kito and tossed him into the water calling out  "please accept this legger into your shoal oceanus!"

  The two ladies' calm and giggly disposition suggested that this was part of the ritual, nonetheless being a jinn, our reporter could and did sneak a few air-bubbles for Lord Kito and hoped that he would resurface soon.  The wait was nervewrecking... but our reporter made attempt to jump into the water to pull him out, afterall, it is the Mer Queen who performed the ritual on Lord Kito, and he was never a particularly kind boss to the staff anyway, at least not enough to five into the sea to save his butt.

   For a long time, there was no movement in the water...then what seem like his white undergarment and some smaller pieces of material float up to the water surface!  Did he get eaten by some giant sea-creature?!!  Was that all that remains of the Lord Kito?!!  A loud splash got us three all wet, a deep indigo fin waved in the air sprinkling endless droplets of water, the water parts once again to reveal Lord Kito, the all new mer Lord Kito!

   He was alive!  (Yay because paid day was soon and only he has the key to the money box)

   We celebrates his rebirth. We admires his lovely indigo scales.  One good news follows another, Lady Sayuri is our new co-editor of Ireem Chronicles!  Welcome Lady Sayuri!  This new beginning for us all shall bring forth more good tidings!

- reported by Moon

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