Last Sunday there was another successful and entertaining tournament to find the new Champion of Ireem. The proud winner was the slaver BigPapa Yifu, who won against the former champion Miss Caren Zuta in a spectacular fight !

The first round started with following opponents:

Fight 1. Beast Theas vs. Dinky Wingtips
Fight 2. BigPapa Yifu vs. Andre Suen
Fight 3. Urso Kronage vs. minihai Ames
Fight 4. Caraya Beeswing vs. LaDana Ruby
Fight 5. Am Demina vs. Brittainy Collins
Fight 6. shevaunn Clarity vs. Quint Spirt
Fight 7. Caren Zuta vs. Jordinna McGinnis

The fighters agreed on a weapon and battled for a spot into the next round, to get one step closer to the title " Champion of Ireem", a reward of 2000 Dinar and a royally approved kind of extra extra safety for their camp !
What does that mean ? Well, the winner and his people are under special protection in their camp for the time until the next tournament will be held. Every citizen, human or non-human has to respect this and the past showed, that this worked pretty well.
So dear reader, you see: the fighters where not only there to prove their skills and look good, but to gain something for their group aswell. The lucky winners getting a ticket into the next round where: Dinky Wingtips, BigPapa Yifu, minihai Ames, LaDana Ruby, Am Demina, Quint Spirt and Caren Zuta

People were eagerly betting and the host of the event, Miss Una Flux had a lot of fun herself. Rumors say she was a little drunk, as she always misspoke the name of the knight Urso, but an anonymous source told me, she was distracted because she could smell the fresh blood of the knight ! //* Editorial note: Pffft, in my personal opinion this was just her undead way to show him her disrespect! We all know, undeads and knights don't get along! She cannot smell the blood from humans.....can she ??!!??!*//

Because of an odd number the losers of round one were fighting for a spot in the next round, Jordina McGinnis knocked them all out and made it. The host Una got message that Miss Minihai suddenly disappeared (This still has to be investigated ! This happened in the past tournaments with other fighters too !!) and so they had another fight to even out again. This time slaver Andre Suen made it and the next round started with following combinations:

Fight 1. LaDana Ruby vs. Am Demina
Fight 2. Andre Suen vs. Caren Zuta
Fight 3. Jordinna McGinnis vs. Quint Spirt
Fight 4. BigPapa Yifu vs. Dinky Wingtips

Am beat LaDana easily, Caren of course did the same to Andre and Jordi kicked Quints‘ butt aswell.
Here came the point where I got ready for my fight with BigPapa, all selfconfident and more then sure to beat him …well, when you read the beginning of this report attentivly you could get an idea of how this fight ended for me. The slaver Bigs beat me easily in this round and bowed to the audience, while I just stood there with my mouth open, shocked about my failure !

At this point, I wanted to leave the tournament to dry my tears of frustration and anger. But of course as I am aware of my duties as a reporter I stayed, so I could write about the rest of the event aswell.

The semi final was the last round for Am, who got beaten by Caren and Jordi, who got beaten by Bigs. As I could enjoy his skills by myself in our fight, I was not so sure anymore, if Caren would be able to stay the champion of Ireem.

And indeed: it was a close and thrilling fight, awesome to see them circle around each other but in the end the slaver won over the dark knight and became the new Champion of Ireem ! CONGRATS TO THE NEW CHAMPION SIR BIGPAPA YIFU !! He probably may not be good in betting, but he defenitely is good in fighting !

Press Release from Thieves' Guild of Ireem:

Ireem and its environs face a rising crisis, crime. With the Knights always busy starting fights with the Undead and the Bedouins, the citizenry and business owners are left vulnerable to pickpocketing and robbery. One report has it that a monkey has been employed in this Thievery.

Two entrepreneurial citizens, Corum McConaught and Andre Suen believe they have an innovative solution: A modern Thieves' Guild patterned after the successful model of the great city of Lahkmar: "We will collect a nominal free from shop owners" explained Corum, "Those who pay will be safe from the activities of Guild member thieves. Those who do not...well, we can't be responsible for what mischief might befall them."

Guild members will pay a fee to be allowed to operate within the Kingdom. These will be the best quality thieves as we hope to move away from the amateurish nature of felons and promte professionalism within our criminal community.

"Non-Guild thieves will not be tolerated!" Guild President Corum smashed his fist upon a table causing several goblets of wine to be spilled: "We will hunt them down, give them a chance to join the guild and pay a fine, then if they refuse they will be punished publicly and quite probably sold into slavery!"

The Order of Knights has already shown resistance to the forward-looking moving by interrupting and arresting the founders of the Guild.

This past weekend the people of Ireem were all invited to the first event in the city arena since it was taken over by Una Flux, in the name of the undead. The event seemed to be a thundering success right from the start. There were over a dozen people entered in the first event and twice that many spectators lining the walls of the pit. The following is my recollection of the events….

The events started with a free for all, last man standing match. Seventeen brave fighters entered the contest. The action was fast paced and brutal. There were fighters running and jumping everywhere, it reminded this reporter of a swarm of angry wasps. When the dust settled the Bedouin, Velvet Hamelin was the victor. Rumor has it that her prize was over 6,000 Dinar!

Following this fight Una announced that the grudge matches would begin. I found myself surprised but not shocked to hear that my own sweet innocent wife Dinky would be fighting Jordi in the first match. It seems there was some sort of disagreement over who exactly owned a certain pair of boots. The betting was opened and everyone flocked to place their bets. Dinky and Jordi faced off in the arena and shouted back and forth about these boots. The fight was short and sweet, My sexy Dinky easily defeated the foul undead!
Everyone stood mouths agape as I collected my winnings, over 2,500 Dinar. The secret is now out, Dinky has been training!

More grudge matches followed in which: Am defeated Sheva, Following which Tusk defeated Sheva and forced her to strip naked in front of everyone. Apparently running the event was too boring because the next fight was Phox against Una. Una lost badly, this may explain her later behavior. The final grudge match was Between Jordi and Tusk, which Jordi won.

After the grudge matches Una announced that she had a surprise to mark the grand opening of the arena. The gates were opened and two disgusting beats were led into the pit. This reporter looked on, horrified, as one by one Velvet Hamelin, LaDana Ruby and Caren Zuta were tossed into the pit to face the wrath of the beasts. There were two rumors whispered through the crowd about why Una would have such a thing done. The first is that she was upset after losing her fight to Phox. Personally I discount this theory as Phox was not one of her victims. The second theory, and far more likely, is simply that she is undead. Behavior such as this should be expected from them.

Whatever the reason, and despite this monstrous ending, the games appeared to be a resounding success. If you were unable to attend you missed an entertaining afternoon. Una has said that the next event will be announced soon, so keep one eye on the chronicles for information, and one eye over your shoulder so you don’t find yourself the next poor soul to be tossed to the beasts!

*Editorial note: If anyone happens to see BigPapa Yifu, also known as Bigz, please show some sympathy and toss him a few coins. Bigz was overcome by the excitement and perhaps bet more then he should have. Remember kindness is a virtue. I am sure he would appreciate any scraps of food you have left over.

Ireemians !

The Fatted Calf Turkish Coffee House is under new management and to celebrate we are inviting you to our re-opening event!

Saturday, 28th August at 12 noon we will throw open our doors. There will be music and dancing for your entertainment.

Try our coffee fresh from Turkey or try your hand at snake charming, see if you have what it takes to make the cobra dance!

The fun starts at 12 Noon come along and sample our Turkish Delights !

Alina Furuseth, Owner

Dear Citizen of Ireem !

The Blue Parrot Tavern is having its grand opening Thursday, August 26th at 5.30 P.M.SLT.

Come drink, listen to music, and enjoy the beautiful dancers! The tavern is located on the east docks of Kashkar facing Ireem, with a parrot sitting on a perch outside.

Damien Nadir, Owner

Ireemians !

The Fatted Calf Turkish Coffee House is now under new management and we are currently looking to hire the following staff.

Head Cook: In charge of preparing menus for the coffee house, sourcing ingredients and holding at least one cooking class per month for those who wish to learn the finer art of Arabian cooking.

Hosts/hostesses: Primary function it to welcome customers into the establishment and to ensure they enjoy their stay. You will also be required to host events at least once per month.

Entertainers needed: dancers and musicians to dance and play for customers. must be able to commit to at least one 1 hour slot per week.

Security: Looking for at least 1 security officer who will be in charge of all security in the Cafe including protecting staff and property. Someone who is not eaily intimdated and willing to work with the knights when necessary.

If interested please contact Alina Furuseth in the first instance.
Owner of the Fatted Calf, Alina Furuseth

It has been brought to the attention of The Chronicles, by several concerned Knights, that many of the laws governing our great city are going ignored. There are many newcomers that may not be familiar with the laws and penalties for breaking them, also there seem to be many long time citizens that ignore......errr.....forget, yeah forget, the laws. As a special favor to The Knights we have agreed to publish the Laws and Penalties for them again......

Laws and Fines of Ireem (Revised)

1. Threat against the Sultana: SG$1000 or arrest and 5 days in jail.
2.Murder: SG$2000 or 5 days in jail or execution (In extreme cases).
3. Assault: SG$200 or 2 days in jail
--- SG$400 for sexual assault or 3 day in jail.
4. Drawn sword in the city: SG$20 or 1 hour in the jail. (This mainly counts for inside businesses)
--- Self-Defense: legal but only if you are being attacked, just don't keep your sword drawn
5. Stealing: SG$100 plus amount stolen or 1 day in jail.
--- This goes for a robbery of a business.
6. Pickpocketing: SG$ 20 plus amount stolen or 1 hour in jail
--- The same law applies for attempted pickpocket if proven.
7. Trespassing: SG$40 or 2 hours in jail
--- Trying to lock pick a till of a business that you do not own or are not employed to.
--- Being in a place that has been specifically restricted to the public.
--- Being in the palace illegally (Harem and Throne room): SG$100 or 1 day in jail.
8. Public Drunkenness: SG$10 or jail until sober.
9. Arming a slave with a weapon of any kind.. (whip.. chains.. swords.. knives..): Slave arrest, and Master/Mistress Fined SG$400
10. Shouting near the city that is not for help: SG$20 or 1 hour in jail.
11. Accusing someone of breaking these or other laws without proof: SG$15 or 1 hour in jail.
12. Naked inside the city walls: SG$25 or 1 hours in jail.
13. Causing damage to others property: SG$200 or 2 days in jail.

(Fines may change with inflation)

There you have it good readers, do not say you were not warned!

Una Flux stretches happily on her couch, quill in hand, pipe in mouth. She winks and begins to pen a scroll to The Chronicles:

Attention Ireem!

The Arena is now under new management. Oh yes, the Undead have taken on the Arena, with great things in mind !!
First on the Agenda: Sunday, August 22rd at 'High Noon' SLT

Free for All Brawl with special suprise after. Brawl will be one fight, all contestants in the Arena, only Knuckledusters allowed. Last one standing to take all prize money.

G$100 to enter, winner takes the pot, and Una will add G$3000 to the prize money. Special event to follow. (Currently looking for anyone that knows some rather large beasts with an appetite. Contact Una Flux for details if interested). Willing fight participants contact Una by Sunday August, 22rd at 9 AM SLT. No late entries !!

Future events are planned, weekly fight nights are in the works, and the Championship fights will resume as well.

Also, a new service for the Citizens of Ireem. For those of you unable to weild a weapon of your own, or perhaps those who need their true nature concealed, you may now contact Una Flux to have a person, or other creatures wandering about, captured for you. Of course there is a catch. Any captives caught will be used purely for entertainment purposes in the Arena. (Restrictions apply and terms are soley based on Undead discretion).

Una Flux, Arena Chief Manager

Note: Any citizen of Ireem wishing to work as a fighter, feel free to join the Arena staff, employment book is in the alcove directly off the auction !

Brittainy sits back upon the cushions and looks at the scroll within her hands. Leaning forward she picks up a quill as she listen's to the music of the lute strumming in a corner from one of the Cafe's many talented musicians. She pauses just a moment to lift her head and admire the graceful sway of one of the beautiful dancers as she glides by, her arms and hips flowing in time to the Bard's tempo.

Bending once more over the scroll she dips the quill into the ink sitting upon the table before and begins to write, recalling the words of praise: "Praise be to Hora Ma - The beneficent queen - The creator of the universe - Goddess of the three worlds - Who set up the firmament without pillars in its stead - And who stretched out the earth even as a bed - and grace, and prayer-Blessing be upon our goddess - Goddess of Undead and darkened men - And upon her family and companion train -Prayer and blessings enduring and grace which unto the day of doom shall remain - Amen! - O thou of the three worlds sovereign!"
The Lady of the Arabesque Cafe is pleased to invite one and all to come and relax and be enteretained as she brings to life the tales of the Arabian Nights! We have heard of Ali Baba and his famous Fourty thieves. Many know of the Djinn in the Lamp.
Now let us bring you the tales begining this Friday, August 20th at 8pm. Music and dance is always a treat and now we bring you the stories that started it all. 1001 Arabian Nights begining this Friday night. She stands and brushes her hand over the scroll sealing her words upon the parchment. She watches as the words glow bright red before settling back to their inky black. Rolling the scroll up and tieing it with a silken ribbon she hands it to one of her dancers. "Deliver this to Dinky or Tim at the Chronicle and make Haste!"
Brittainy Collins, Arabesque Cafe

Note: the quote in this was rewritten per creative license of the writer. The actual quote can be found in the first story of the Arabian Nights.

Dear Ireemians !

The Blue Parrot Tavern is now open for business and hiring bartenders and dancers!

Ran by the former owner of the 'Slaves Head Inn', Damien Nadir, the Blue Parrot Tavern is located in Kashkar, settled on the eastern banks, facing the city of Ireem.

All are welcome to enjoy the famous rum, and the exciting atmosphere.
Employment offers great tips and all the alcohol they can drink.

Damien Nadir, Owner

Chronicles Staff: What turns you on?
Ferren Skytower: A good sense of humor, and a kind heart with just a bit of whimsical mischief mixed in are traits that attract my attention. Magical play and good conversation are always fun. I'm a bit of a bibliophile, which is why I picked the library for my portrait. Also, I really like women's breasts. They're nice and soft and fun to play with.

Chronicles Staff: What turns you off?
Ferren Skytower: Violence without cause and cruelty are a sure way to earn my scorn.

Chronicles Staff: If you could have sex with anyone in Ireem who would it be?
Ferren Skytower: Swift as the wind,
She glides though Ireem,
A quick flash of blue hair,
Sometimes all that is seen.

Chronicles Staff: Who in Ireem would you least like to have sex with?
Ferren Skytower: Anyone with a cruel heart.

Chronicles Staff: Tell us something embarrassing about yourself.
Ferren Skytower: One time as a joke, someone stuck some potatoes on my horns while I was sleeping. I didn't realize they were there until the next day, when I sat in a fire to meditate. Something smelled delicious. They made a nice supper, at least.

Justice? You Decide!

A vigilante force has entered Ireem. The Thirsty Djinn is now also a vigilante head quarters. The djinn Phox Sillanpaa has now began Ireem's first official vigilante den. The Thirsty Djinn will host a hideout of people who take the oath to defend innocents against the forces of evil.

Phox himself, says, "Our rules are very simple. None are exempt for them. Immortals should show the wisdom of knowing the truth of right and wrong. Mortals shall quickly learn it. Do not rape. Do not murder. Do not cause misery upon others. My head has been clearing over the past few days."

Phox has opened his tavern up to all prey seeking shelter who can't find the voice to call for help in their time of need.

Phox quotes "Any prey that run into my tavern, shall find a few good swords to ward off their attackers. It is the same as calling for the knights in my book."

The vigilante group, known as, 'Veritas Aequitas" is looking for any who believe that the rules of the code, prevent justice from being done properly. If you are captured by these men, death is the typical punishment,as they reserve their efforts for the worst of offenders. They will be a force to reckon with in Ireem. Any who are interested need only IM Phox, and he will fill you in on the more complicated details.

Watch your step, evil. The unorthodox forces of good are here to meet you.


Reliable drivers and guards are needed to transport a most important artifact to our fair city!!

The Curator of the Ireem Museum of the Sacred has arranged for the newly rediscovered item to be housed here because of the renowned security of the institution.

Anyone interested in these positions may contact Mistress Cheerie Loon for an interview.

Cheerie Loon, Purveyor of Fine Goods

Boys playing in a cave near FarCity recently discovered a long lost treasure. Amed Flange and his friend Rashid Chickpea stumbled over a partially buried chest of badly decayed wood. They say there was writing on the chest but as they scratched at the rocks and mud to free the chest, it crumbled into dust.
All that was left was a parcel of dirty rags. Mindful of what had happened to the chest, the boys said they carefully picked up the bundle of rags. To their amazement a treasure of gleaming gold and lapis lazuli fell from the shredded heap of cloth.

The boys said they knew this was something important so they took it to the village headman, Hammon Dafun. Dafun in his turn carried the object to the local temple, where he showed it to the high priest, Sulimon Solomon. Solomon cried out loudly that the boys had restored to the people a most marvelous and powerful treasure.

The learned scholar and mystic, Darian Estoile, was asked to examine the object and authenticate the find. After extensive research and testing, Doctor Estoile confirmed that the boys had found the Great Collar of the Sacred Anus of Anubis. The collar has long been thought to have been destroyed by the defilers of the temple.
Estoile postulates that the item was smuggled away and hidden by devote believers shortly before the invaders breached the door of the inner chamber of the holies. Furthermore he avers that it is a great miracle that it has been preserved so well.

There are dark stories about the origins of the beautiful collar. Many say it was made for the god by his slaves in the underworld and brought to the mortal plane to give his followers a lasting taste of his power. It is reputed to have powerful magic and its ownership is highly disputed by various groups intent on acquiring this power for themselves.

Since there is so much conflict about the ownership of the collar it has been decided that the collar will be kept in the Ireem Museum of the Sacred. The Museum is known the world over for its security. The Great Collar of the Sacred Anus of Anubis will be displayed so that all believers may cast their eyes upon this glorious gift from the God Anubis.

"Citizens of Ireem I have a tale to tell, of feathers and demons, of darkness and Fury. Read and remember !

Stolen feathers from a Djinn, cursed citizens both highborn and low. Dark starless nights. Demons were banished and time for births.

Fury was and perhaps may still be a being created out of the fears of men and their own inner darkness. Many centuries ago these fears grew and the strength from them gave way into the manifestation of a demon now known as Fury.

I write blame not Sheva but look into your own hearts. For if blame must be laid, lay it upon yourselves and your inner fears. Fury hath fed from man's darkness but the noble and righteous hid their darkness from themselves. If there was no way to feed off that energy but it lingered inside them still. So the time of curses began as a way to let the darkness out. Mortals know little of such things and killed the host Fury was residing in. She went back to the abyss to await another portal.

Darkness but returned once more by the power of the Three. The three infants, now grown knew their dark duty and when the time came they summoned the entity thought vanquished. The Three called upon the gods and spoke the incantation "Life to life and mind to mind, our spirits now will intertwine. Evil hiding in plain sight, We use this curse with all our might. In the `tween time, this darkest hour. We call upon this vindictive power. Three together stand alone, command the unseen to be shown. Magick forces far and wide, bring back the beast she hides inside. Be she far, be she near, Bring us the demon Fury here....."

And thus Fury was reborn in Sheva's body once more. Blame not Sheva, as she was a fitting host for Fury, her immortal nature letting Fury thrive and feed of off man's own folly.

The demon spent too much time in this waking realm and grew weak and unfocused, allowing for others to remove her horns and the Magi KC to place a crystal upon her collar. The gem must hold a mighty magic indeed as I was told of how the crystal burned if it were to be removed.

Fury believed that the Magi KC knew what she was doing and thought her to be of help. As I write down Fury's story she spoke to me and said, "Fury was made from man and curses them to feed off what they hide. I am not evil, neither good, I just am"

She seemed tired, as it took a great amount of concentration and power to hold down a host's body for so long. I believe that Fury knew in her depths of her being that her time on this realm, this plane of existence was coming to an end.

Later on I saw this to be true as I watched Aine and the magi KC work together to banish Fury once more. It was a bitter sight I watched as Aine magically bind Fury untill KC could call upon her magic and the gods to undone what had been done. The Magi cast her circle and I felt the power stirr along my skin as my eyes grew blurred with emotion as I heard Fury scream she wasn't ready to go.

Her loyal guard stood by her side as the spell was cast. The Magi spoke the words and I felt a cold fear grow."Guardians of the Watchtowers Four, I invite you to our presence, Grace us in our Circle with your essence. Spirits of Earth, Wind, Water and Fire, I call upon thee to bring us higher. Unto our Circle, Welcome all and one!"

Aine herself began to glow with strange glyphs as she tapped into magics of her own. Fury begged for it not to happen, but we all have our time and cannot ask for more when the thread is cut.

I watched as Aine called her staff to aid in the sharing of magics. The Magi seemed to tap into the magics and spoke once more, "Power of wind, wrath, and lightning have I over thee; Power of storm, moon and sun have I over thee; Power of stars, heaven's and worlds have I over thee; In the shadows, evils hide, Ready to draw me from loves side."

Fury looked panicked and begs Anine to answer why. The air around them grows bright as the Magi called upon more power and incanted "Powers of the witches risecourse unseen across the skies, Hear me beckon, hear my plea,Spirit Fury I summon thee!"
The air grew thick with magics and I felt the hair on my skin rise up and prickle as the Magi finished the rite " By the power of the elementsto my care I place thee.To my hand,Thy care will be.Guardians of the ancient towers,Grant me now thy sacred powers.Let this spirit at my beck and call be,For such is my will, and so I mote it to be!"

Fury fell to the ground in pain as the spell was cast, her darkened skin fades and the red light leavs her eyes, but not before she utters one last warning, "Fury will return with a vengeance." The spell was done and I knew in my own dark heart her words to be true.

Thus Fury was banished and Sheva returned, but not completely whole. I watched the woman stumbling about blindly with darkened eyes. The die is cast and they have their Sheva back, but in what state I cannot say. I am no healer. It seemed to me that Sheva was stuck in a place of darkness and unaware of what has gone on while fury rode her skin.

I watched as they took her to the Djinn realm to work what healing as they may. It is good to have Sheva back, but it was an honor to have met the Fury. As I finish my tale I have done what I set out to do, that is to give remembrance to Fury as well as give a note of caution. Don't turn from your darkness, or your fears. Know thyself and be whole, else gods only know what demons you will conjure forth.

Thank you for reading my tale Ireem. I hope you mark my words well.

I remain, Clotho of the Djinn

The Good Knight Tavern - Under new Management !

The Good knight Tavern is now known as, "The Thirsty Djinn". Under the proprietorship of Phox Sillanpaa, the tavern is now proud to offer blood to those who do not wish to drink at the butcher. Nasty blood there!

The bar also sells Faerie Dust and Djinn Djuice to drive your nonmagic (And your magic) friends crazy.

Kiss Loon will be performing Tuesday at 4:00 PM SLT Featuring the Violin and Celtic Harp

Thursday is Thirsty Thursday, featuring half priced djinn djuice all day - only 5 Dinar !

Friday is Faerie Friday, in which the faerie dust is on special at 10 Dinar !

We are also proud to offer cold drinks, cooling them in ways only Djinn - and I guess Magi -can. We have a wide array of Redwine, some spiked with blood. The Thirsty Djinn is always looking for new drinks or magical assets to sell.
We are also looking for blood donors, guards, dancers and bartenders. Bards and storytellers need only contact me and I will make an event out of it.
That pretty much sums it up. You can do your editorial thing and make it pretty and interesting and funny. But these are things that need mentioning.

Phox Sillanpaa, owner of the Thirsty Djinn

Blogger Template by Blogcrowds