ARTICLE: Ireem Library

Just two weeks after taking the helm of Ireem’s Library, Mathias Brucato has already made his mark with improvements and innovation to the prestigious institution. When the Chronicles’ Pasha Braveheart sat down to interview Mathias, he was knee deep in books recounting the historical chronology of Ireem, organizing, sorting and getting them ready for the many volunteer scribes who will soon be working on them.

(pic. Mathias and Lilith)

When asked what made him take on this monumental task, he explained, “Mostly because of a need to help others. I see too many times people ill-educated about Ireem or why they are here.” He thoughtfully pauses and gestures out the window with a sweeping motion, then continues, “This thought is general, as it really extends to the entire land and the people and beings that dwell here.”

Speaking about his goals and plans, Mathias shared, “My goals are simple. The Library is here to educate those seeking more knowledge on things.” He discussed a recent observation he had made, “I have seen an unusual influx with pirates and slavers using the Kama Sutra and other books of that nature, though I doubt they were actually reading but…. admiring the drawings and letting their imagination run wild.” This did inspire Mathias to develop a plan to make the “knowledge of these lands” more interactive, similar to those books and scrolls of the Kama Sutra. Currently, Mathias has a team of scribes making as many copies as possible of the lands’ history for those local and from afar to read and understand. Another plan that Mathias outlined involved a messenger service, “We will also offer messenger and scribe services to all who need it. MeBo has been an excellent promoter and I have a great keep of talented individuals willing to help.”

Mathias elaborated on his plan to execute the messenger service saying, “So far the scribes and others who are willing have been couriers. Just the other day the Bedouin Alli, ran a few messages by foot. For those who have multiple messages to send, we have a nest of ravens to fly any message needed. We also pride ourselves in keeping your information highly confidential.” One person who has already taken advantage of the messenger service with a ready raven perched atop her business is Icy Silverweb, owner of the Blue Parrot. Of Icy, Mathias remarked, “She is one of those citizens who has used the newly opened library. We do hope to do more business with her and the Blue Parrot and she has even added a few additions to our library personally.”

When asked for more information on the types of additions he was seeking for the library, he offered, “Well so far, we welcome just about anything: magic spells, incantations, recipes, stories, ranging from the soft in humor, to the erotic, and everything else in between.”
In terms of upcoming events, Mathias spoke of a two tier contest he has planned, “One will be directed toward artists designing their favorite scene in the Lebor Arque Encyclopedius and the second will focus on story telling…(for instance) how to survive certain scenarios in Ireem, which can run the spectrum from funny to those in dire need.”

Something else on Mathias’ agenda is to provide more comfortable seating in the library so that visitors can better relax and enjoy the peaceful environment while reading.
In closing, Mathias wants the citizens of Ireem to know, “The Library is here for anyone, new or old to these lands. We plan in the future to start programs so that those from far lands can learn gradually about this place allowing them to better adjust and fit in.”

COLUMN: Dear Granny......

Dear Granny....... I have found it hard to stay loyal to anyone or any clan. Not only do I seriously think about having sex with someone at least ten times a day, but I find that I cannot stay loyal to one particular family or group of friends, either. I have had a string of sexual partners, all in secrecy because I don't want people to find out and accuse me of being a slut (or a hero if I am a man). And I constantly find myself getting involved with other clans and families, in the hope that I will find more men to spend the night with. However, this is starting to damage my self-esteem and also my reputation. People are whispering rumors and many have already called me a two faced bitch for flirting with the enemies. What I want to know is, is this drive normal? Or is it wrong to open myself up to so many different people and groups? Are they taking advantage of me, or am I taking advantage of them due to my insecurity?

Stone Face Slapper

Granny First, slap yourself a few times. Thinking about sex with someone ten times a day is perfectly normal. Hell, I think about sex with ten men quite often, too. There is nothing wrong to feel sexual, and having a strong sex drive is normal for any human (or whatever race that you are. I am sure we are all the same, deep inside). What you need to know is, as yourself the sexual style that you truly want. Do you want a sweet loving man, or a raging sword wielding beast who can hardly string three words together but may possible have a long tool that rivals the best of the spears any blacksmith can offer? *Wipes of her own drool* Or perhaps you would prefer a visit from a clan of camel riding Bedouins? Or maybe a boat load of drunken slavers....... *Goes rambling into her own fantasy*

Anyway, what I was meaning to say is this..... sex encounters, and one night stands, are not necessarily damaging. Just because you are humping different men from different races all at once, doesn't make you less of a person or beast. Just make sure they have the right tool, and the tool is of the right size (half the length of a standard trident is a good guide), have a decent enough breathe and able to speak a few more words than "Open your legs woman!" Failing that, just make sure they have enough coins in the pocket, because if the worse comes to the worst, you can always charge them for the service you provide.

Happy sexing, and good sexual health

We heard that you've tried to uncover our identities, Citizens, and we have two words for you. Red. Herring. Disappointing that you would so easily let it lead you off course. Strike one, citizens. Other than horns the only thing we have in common with Flea is our love for milking and getting milked, weather that is our owner or not is not of concern (that's an invitation!).

So, let us tell you who we are. Tracking us down to is futile, we are everywhere and nowhere at once. The harder you try the more elusive we become. We are the faceless ones with the mask of millions.. We are legion. We are watching like hawks and we are always, always better dressed. We like secrets but we don't like keeping them. The more we are quoted the more we are believed.

We are gossip.

So while fish is good for you, we're where the milks at. Would you like to take another guess?

We spawn suspicion. We could be your arch enemies or your closest friend. Paranoid yet?

While you're pondering, pulling out those hair extensions (good riddance, we say. They make your head look like a moldy cucumber), we shall address one anonymous tip.

1. We have no good authority. We weren't wrong when we said that something was amiss in the pirate slaver ranks, Citizens. It seems that MR Sunshine was not only missing, he was a Miss! Looks like those vests do come off, but we can't say that dress was a very good trade off. Don't go rubbing the djinns the wrong way kiddies, they'll curse you and give you a wardrobe malfunction that is as bad as theirs! Trust us when we say somethings are better left in the bottle.

Looks like those Zafirah thieves made a big impression though. Any more pilfering hands and the fatted calf would have turned boney. But all is well that ends well. As they say, even after an Ink spill such as that. We heard about touch and go, but this was a hit and miss

2.Thank you for your contribution, Citizens. About that note one of your number left for our last article, Please sharpen your quill. Gossip is serious business. Naked bag men? We'll pass on the nudity. We'll pass on the men and do a switch alla Am. But bags will lead us to this question.

What's more fashionable then the embroided veil this season? Babies. Yes citizens they're popping up everywhere. Anyone who's anyone has to have one under arm. Personally the stink of used diapers is getting to us...

3.Have you spotted the theme yet?
For those slow ones let us spell it out for you. Zafirah. From it's thieves we now move on to its leaders. Us goats salute M and let us meet them who now walk in her shadow. A quick change of hands recently from MB to J. At least this new leader got rid of her slaver quickly. Rest assured we'll be watching out for more good things to add.

Once again Citizens, got a gripe? No balls? Drop us a parchment. We'll do your voicing out for you. And we'll do a better job of it, too.

xoxo GG

(Ed: Once again, the editor would like to stress that all these gossips does not represent the Chronicles in anyway. Though we did laugh out loud in the office when we read it)

In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms
In world so hollow
It is breaking my heart
But I will be strong and blessed and so brave
With souls to be saved
And faith regained
All my tears will wipe away


It’s with a heavy heart that the Chronicle announces the passing a valued citizen, Hawke Braveheart. A beloved physician and Priest of Zin Ray, Hawke, although a citizen for a relatively short period of time, left his mark on the community for his kindness, his wealth of knowledge, and his healing powers that benefited many an Ireem citizen in need. Sadly, it was his benevolent nature that sealed his fate. When he was notified of a distant city beseeched by the plague, he never hesitated to set off immediately to administer to the sick. He stood fast on his decision despite the pleading of his wife, Pasha, and scores of his friends. It wasn’t long before the sad news reached Ireem that Hawke had perished from the plague along with those he cared for.

The widow Braveheart has asked the citizens of Ireem to remember her husband fondly and pray for him while she is supported by friends and under the protection of her employer and dear friend Icy Silverweb.

A special fund has been set up in the Chronicles office for the plague's victim, to help those who suffer losses due to the plague. We would welcome donation from all good citizen of Ireem, to help those who are in needs in this desperate time. All the processing will be pass on to the plague victims' families, minus the standard administrative expenses.

NEWS: Unlikly Talent Scout

You may have noticed a Jester traveling around Ireem balanced atop a colorful ball. For those who were skeptical, she does not represent a danger to anyone. To the contrary, the affable jester was simply looking for talent to add to her list of performers for a traveling carnival. Rest assured you can approach the Jester who will happily perform a trick or two while promoting the carnival and soliciting for talented Ireem citizens to join her show

Blue Parrot- Slave Auction

21 Sept 1am slt - 1st event at the Blue Parrot!
Was the wee hour of slt but for the European crowd a fair time of day, at 1am slt began the first round of Auctions. At first a small crowd gathered, participants readied themselves and then we were under way! More and more came to see why a crowd gathered and ended up staying and enjoying themselves!

In a little over an hour, there were 5 people auctioned off…

A big thanks goes out to…
Mebo, Ai, Petertron, Mathias, and Ice

Who represented- Bedu, Knights, Magis and Dark Knights!

All in all I think there was fun from both sides! Hearty banter was heard from the crowd, including shouts for others to dare the auction post!
Bidding went well, with a couple of bidding wars for the prize on the post, winners seemed happy with the treasure won!

5pm slt 2nd event at the Parrot!

A delightful afternoon had a slow start to the Auction, guess many were enjoying the day! A few more strolled over and the event was in full swing!
In about 1 ½ hours there was 6 people sold

In order of sale-
Duc, Blossom, Damien, Mathias ( again! he really must enjoy hanging from the post), Britt/aine and finally coaxing Nena to try out the post!

Thank you Everyone who came to be Auctioned, to buy, or just watch the festivities!
There was talk after each one on the fun they had and hoped for more!
Well, your wish will be honored and we WILL have more in the future!!
So save your coins and keep those shackles handy!!!

Thank you

Icy Aura-Silverweb

COLUMN: Gossip Goats

Look alive citizens of Ireem. Time for a new sort of reporting. Hold on to your hair extensions( yes, you too boys), pin up that veil because things around here are going to be really shaken up. Forget sugar, spice, and everything nice. We're here to get right down to the nitty gritty. Ever heard a rumor you can't verify? Ever heard news you feel like ranting about? Ever seen silks on someone that look unfit to even wipe Hora Ma's bum? Voicing it out is our self professed job now. Someone ought to do it. Call us social commentary with a fashion sense. Call us gossip-mongers or paparazzi. Call us anything you want, but we'd rather prefer to go by the title, "Gossip Goats."

So what do we do, you might ask?

Well, basically, we chew stuff. We chew them hard and spit them out like yesterday's moldy leftovers. Be very careful who you feed your news to. One might see them spat out on the front covers of today's edition of the Chronicles... Did I mention we also bleat? Oh yes, we bleat hard! Listen to our cries of Meeeee! as we chorus our way around Ireem.

A word of caution to those who dare try to capture us though.Our pointy horns aren't meant for display only.


Now that we got the introductions all cleared up, it's now on to the chewing business of the day

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, time to get your jollies off these pretty little slavers, take a shot in the dark and guess who they are:

1.Spotted, S making the switch from pirate rags to pet in uniform. We'd say you look handsome, only we were wondering who's bright idea it was to let you make that switch. After all the trouble you've caused? Don't tell us it's magic perfume again.Speaking of which it's going take a barrel full to cover up that stench of yours. A leopard cannot change it's spots as they say. Looks like this one can't even change his socks.

2.Do you hear that citizens? That is the sound of absent wedding bells. Were you just as disappointed as we were that M did not tie the knot with his lady Magi? No? Truth be told there's no disappointment here either. We wonder if it was it's the donkey that got in the way.... M doesn't like donkeys much it seems, he'd rather milk goats- and we're not complaining.

3.Talk about sowing your wild oats in all the wrong places. Which hole in wall has K run off to now? Or do you think he's done an S and traded in his pirate threads for something else? Builder tools perhaps,? at the rate of juniors popping up claiming his surname he'll be needing a kidergarten soon enough.

4.There's nothing better then slavers in the morning. That usually means they're out of your bed and out of your life. Speaking of mornings has anyone seen that ray of sunshine Am anywhere lately? Hmm...that's one mystery we'd like to solve. We do so love rolling our eyes when he goes pass. Those vests. Do they ever come off ? Come on don't be a tease!
What you think people does he look better with them off? The jury's still out on that.

5.And what can we say to our final slaver but GET OFF THAT BENCH! You know who you are. You're spoiling the view you lazy bum!


And thats it for the day. We said we'd give you the spill not the all feel. Your job to figure it out lovelies.Until our next meeting, Citizens. Be careful what you say on the sands. You'd never know who's listening and needs milking!

From, Your friendly- noisy- neighborly- anonymous gossip-mongers, GG

P.S Citizens, we're buddies now right? Buddies share secrets.Don't forget to milk the goats. After all what would we ever do without you!


(Disclaimer: This is a new feature, writen by our guest columnist. By no mean it reflect the opinion of Chronicles etc etc..... and before anyone go hunt down and milk Flea, she is not one of the Gossip Goats, despite her love of gossip. I mean, think about it, how can Flea picks up a pen and write?)

Salaams and Arrrgh me Heartys-

Welcome to the Blue Parrot!
The BEST place in the for your drinking needs!
Come meet the staff, have a drink, dance, get drunk ( best prices in all of KoS)- merriment for all!
We will kick off the new management with a Pirate Auction!
Some of you may know or took part in the past ones- well, we're doing it again!

Here be the following info for the Auction-
Date-21 Sept 2011
Times- 1am slt & 5pm slt
Place- Just outside of Blue Parrot in KoS 2
*******Auction Info********
Bidding for 2 hours of time with the victim-
Anything goes ( except SEX- that is optional )
Any one going up for auction will get back 1/2 (half) of the winning bid on themselves ( hey you make a few coins!)
Date,Time,Place to collect is decided between Auctionee and Winner of bid!
This is open to ALL RACES, ALL RANKS!

Are you BRAVE enough? Can you take it as well as dish it out?
Give the prey a chance to turn the tables!
lol, paybacks are a bitch, or can be fun!
Get to know your local Pirates, Undeads, Knights and any others that may need to get to know you!
If you are interested please drop a note card to Majid or Icy.
Participants will be posted in group chat prior to the event!

Thanks from the Blue Parrot Staff-
Majid Axel- Owner
Icy Aura-Silverweb
Lola Kristan

The Chronicles can report that the undead once again was humiliated in their latest attempt to continues their war against everyone.

Dayan, one of the infamous undead, was once again being public humiliated. The famed warrior and Djinn General, Azimuth, was attacked in the city today by the not so intelligent undead commander. However, as with most battle between the Djinn and Undead, Dayan was easily beaten, despite Azimuth was eating his breakfast with one hand at the time.

After the fight finished, the none so bright undead was trying to threaten Azimuth into releasing him. Since his breakfast was knock down during the fight, Azimuth was not in the best of mood to take any unnecessary abuses and ended up putting the undead on the cross outside the desert and burn him on it. While leaving the undead screaming in pain and begging for mercy, Azimuth went on and continues something more important..... replacement for his breakfast.

Of course the story didn't quite end there. Despite being burned by fire in front of a healthy size crowd in the morning, the undead hasn't quite learn their lesson. This time a few of them decided to ambush Azimuth in the city, thinking the number advantage would help them. How wrong were they. Despite the fact that this time Azimuth was reading a newspaper with one hand, no doubt it's the latest edition of the Chronicles that featured some lovely painting of Djinn, he once again defeated Dayan and some random other random undead.

This time, instead of burning him, Azimuth sold Dayan on the block. The bid was won by a slaver. We couldn't found what happened between them. But eyewitnesses told us that they saw Dayan left the cafe, half naked with tear from his face, and walked away with a limp. His hand was, for some unknown reason, constantly rubbing his backside. We will leave it up to you to guess what happened between him and his owner.

We don't know what happened to the other undead that he captured either, nor do we really care.

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