The Ireem Chronicles

NO MORE BACK FROM THE DEAD!

BEWARE all those joining the undead (voluntarily or involuntarily) soon there may be no turning back!

Having been attacked and defeated by Aizen the undead I knew it was only a matter of time before I was to be sacrificed and made a zombie myself. Not wanting to leave the Bedouin (or the living for that matter) I turned to the kingdoms healer - Kerrina. Thankfully she equipped me with an Elixir Vial which would save me from being forever bound to the underworld.

However on hearing this news a now enraged Aizen leashed and dragged me into the catacombs. He strapped me to a tomb before proceeding to hack into my leg with a sharp blade. He is planning to use my now immune blood to begin creating an antidote. This will make it impossible for anyone (including the magi) to resurrect the dead.

R.I.P

Written by a severely wounded Sundance Teardrop

You preds better get off your duffs and fix this, we can not have Virgins in Ireem, it's blasphemy!

Below is a list of a few who claim they are still Virgins in Ireem....



Porcelain Yuhara
Ribbon Liebster
Jaril Rexen
Jonathan Moriarty

Last night while the slavers slept, their camp was taken over by an odd combination of some of Ireem's finest....there were Knights, Bedu, Dungeon Guard, Undead, Djinn, and prey partying hard into the night. There were beautiful women dancing, a flying slug, and some friendly sparring...FYI, Fred the slug is a cheater. As you can see in the pic...Sexy Undead Tobi Etzel and uber hot Knight Urso Kronsage joined in the dance and proceeded to strip as the ladies threw money at them...have they found new careers?

Appeal to Lady Kerrina, and the rest of Ireem:

Regarding:

prey pretending to be predators
the sanctity of our camps
and
"immunity" from the normal dangers in life for healers.

I strongly urge the people of Ireem to lay off Am. In my opinion, he did nothing wrong, except perhaps refrain from killing a spy who continued to make trouble, even after being captured for questioning.

From what I understand, the prey, Inti, while dressed in a very flimsy slaver disguise, tried to interfere with Am while he was disciplining a slave in his camp.

Am attacked Inti for it, and captured her. Wong, the slavers' leader, had no problem with that, especially since Inti is NOT a slaver, but rather was apparently a spy or something much more sinister. The slavers clearly had reason to wish to question her about her motives and activities in their camp.

Inti appeared to be in fine health when I saw her, very soon after the fight. But the fact is, that Am had captured her while Inti was armed, wearing a stolen slaver's sword. She was his captive. He owned her. It was his right to punish her as he saw fit.

She is lucky she was not killed and thrown to the sharks, in my opinion. She was playing a very dangerous game, and was completely unprepared for the consequences of her actions.

While Inti was captured, Kerri tried to interfere in the slavers' camp. She was ordered to leave, so Am could deal with the prey-disguised-as-slaver, and she refused. Then Am attacked her as she would not leave otherwise.

We are predators. We are fighters. If prey wish to steal predator's clothing and weapons, they should not complain when they get the stuffing beat out of them. Normally we cannot demand our captor allow the healer into the camp to treat us. We're lucky, when we lose a fight, that the captor doesn't slit our throat and be done with it.

If an interloper invited the healer into the Magi Tower while I was questioning him or her, to understand exactly WHY they were disguised in Magi clothing, and the healer tried to interfere, I would probably do as Am did.

Order her out, and hit her with my sword, and capture her if she refused to respect the sacred space of the tower.

Lady Kerrina has been attacked before. She was kidnapped and hidden away for days by a slaver, beaten and drugged. Undead have attacked her. Others have as well. She even had an assassin hunting her down, having followed her from other lands.

To expect that all must follow some code of ethics regarding one healer, is a bit... well... delusional. There are crazy people in Ireem. There are angry and selfish and greedy people in Ireem. There are undead MONSTERS in Ireem. I would not let my infants crawl the streets of Ireem, unprotected, and expect that every stranger they meet will "do the right thing" and not harm them.

Perhaps you all have noticed the Sultana wandering around, unarmed and unprotected?

No? You haven't? That's because she's wiser than that. Sure, in a perfect world she should be ABLE to wander her own city unprotected. But the reality is that if she does so, she will eventually be hurt.

I have never once, since picking up my sword the first time, been foolish enough to walk the sands without it at my side. If I did, and I was captured and abused, I would have no one but myself to blame.

Lady Kerrina MUST know by now that slavers, especially, cannot all be trusted to be gentle with her.

After the last attack on her, I strongly advised her to carry a sword and learn how to use it.

Once again, Lady Kerrina, I urge you to take more responsibility for your own welfare. Carry a sword. Get knights to teach you to use it, or buy lessons from WongFei.

No woman should be without defense in any part of this world, healer or not. Either have a constant guard, or learn to protect yourself.

Wandering alone as an unprotected, potential easy victim is creating animosity between knights and predators. In fact, one might question whether you seek more injured fighters to treat, and starting a war is one way to ensure you get them.

Promote peace. Speak softly, and carry a big stick.

Our fine healer was summoned today to the slavers camp, a slaver needing attention to her wounds.

She approached the camp, ready to do her magical healing and help another human when suddenly she is spoken to by a male slaver...Am. He demands she sit down and stop healing the female slaver. Kerri obviously refuses, as she is not one to take orders from the slavers and is there simply to do her job as our healer and heal the wounds of someone who's been hurt in god knows what types of battle.

The female, Init, tells Am to back off, he refuses and starts pushing Kerri...man handling the sweet lady who spends her days being nothing but helpful to the citizens of Ireem!

At which point he is challenged to a fight...by Init, who just wishes to get him to leave Kerri alone do so her job, Am wins and Init is hurt, as Kerri starts to work tirelessly on her wounds..Am proceeds to slash into Kerri, rendering her flesh into weals of bloody ribbons as she was not able to defend herself in any way at that point.

Kerri has at this point fallen to the ground, almost unconscious and some kindly men carry her to her office, where she is fed kanda and drugged so that alcohol can be applied to her wounds and stitches sewn to her flesh to allow it to heal.

The sweet Kerri is at this time of writing this article..dancing in the cafe, bloodied, bruised, and drugged, trying to heal herself, please do stop by and give her well wishes, while spitting at the feet of the slaver who dares to attack this woman who strives to keep us all together!

- Tre

There appears to be a slaver who would prefer to be seen as upstanding, rather than more like his contempories who are seen as dirty,low lying scum.

I've had chance to speak to this slaver, whom we shall call Raddick, just in the interests of those reading this. He seems a man of much honor, solely interested in the money to be made off slave flesh than in the using of said flesh. Could this slaver perhaps be....what's the word I seek here..not incompetant..but...hrm..it will come to me in time, the word for ...not being able to be aroused by the more baser instincts many men hold.

By all accounts, this man seems to be very easy to deal with, as long as you feed him plenty of dinar and don't delve too deeply into conversation and wit. He is simply not interested, so don't waste your time.

Raddick...one of the most eligible bachelors in Ireem, who will be lucky enough to interest this man and show him the baser instincts can be just as pleasureable as those of the filling of your gold coin pouch.

He says what he means and he means what he says, so if he tells you he's going to do something..count on it.

All in all, my time with him was pleasant enough, rumors of him running from Sage back to his camp were told to me to be false, he claims he was simply ignoring her and wanted nothing to do with her at the time.

Oddly..I believe him, though who could turn down a tryst with the delicacy we all call Sage, he must have had an off day of course. God knows as a slaver he's probably one of the best out there in terms of "selling" for his clan.

-Tre

... and once again, events in Ireem prove it's never a dull moment with the Bedu around as long as they have their livestock handy.

It seems that Dalilah the Jailer kept touching and huging Chris Wilder's girl, Olive, in random shows of affection that were offensive to the Bedu. Chris challenged the jailer to fight for her honor as a result of this affront, although Dalilah refusted the challenge, leaving Chris with no choice but to punish his slave for her transgressions.

The Punishment: He locked her overnight in the sheep's pen in the bedu camp. Although, he DID at least stand guard to make sure she was safe.

Dalilah Sirnah made this comment shortly after the incident: "I believe Chris needs to come to cope with his insecurity issues, when his woman hugs another female he should not mind..... I believe he is going through a mid life crisis so I forgive him"

Asked about her feelings regarding the punishment, Chris's girl wasn't shy about her opinion: "Obviously I am not happy about being locked in the cage with that damn sheep of his...it stinks...and to top it off, I was in a pair of my favorite silks and I don't know if I'll ever get the stink out of them or my hair...damn bone headed bedu...."

Asked to comment on his feelings about the sheep, notable Bedu Sir Jordan responded by rubbing his crotch....

... I didn't ask any more questions. There are some things this humble reporter doesn't want to know.

PLEASE NOTE: Candidate Chatomen Carlberg has dropped out of the race, and as such has no responses here. However, in exchange, we've added responces from faux Knight Candidate Stinky McWinkleShorts for your reading pleasure.

1. First and Foremost, please describe the Knight's code of honor, in your own words. Why is this code important?

DANO WYLIE: The knights code, the very base of what i Knight is. It is this code that sets who he or she is, the standard by witch they can judge them selves.

SERAF CLIP: The Knights code is a way of life for the Knights. Thats what we must follow and honor.. and act as the code says. It is what makes them an honorable knight.

PRIMO BABII: A knight honor its his all exsistences hes life depend on it a knight should always respect who respect them and should help the needy and be curtious to all and make sure he s respected and not to be weak in face of danger

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: The Knights code is important because it defines who we are as a group. It outlines the ideals that we should strive for in our day to day dealings with all of Ireem. The code is very simple and can apply to all situations.
~~~~~ With every action a Knight performs and every word that they speak, a Knight should have these qualities first and foremost in their mind:

Honor
Integrity
Courage
Forgiveness
Loyalty
Compassion
Honesty
Respect

It is who we are. All of us are human and we are fallible.
We may not always do the right thing, but the code is a mirror against which we can examine our behavior and thereby improve ourselves. And since we are all unique individuals, we may have different interpretations of the definitions of these words. This is what gives Ireem its color and spice in an otherwise very, drab, brown land and should always be listened to carefully with no prejudgement.

STINKY: Well... I think knights should rule the Night... it sounds the same, so it should be the same. When it's night, everyone should obey the knights, and that's the law. And the Law is Good, because it's enforced by The Knights At Night.

2. Describe the difference between a Knight and a Predator.

DANO WYLIE: That is simple a Knight is one who has come to Ireem with only one goal, to protect those who could not portect them selves. A Predator is just that one who takes what they want wihout regard.

SERAF CLIP: Knights are here to protect the innocent and those that need help and we fight against slavery and uphold the law.. as for the Predators, they try to enslave anyone they gaze upon and want and are against the law

PRIMO BABII: [Primo did not answer this question]

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: Is this a serious question? So many ways to answer this!
I'll bet Sage wrote this question.......

STINKY: Well... if you had to ask me, the knight bathe more often, and we have better campfire songs. The slavers? Huh... all they do is sit around baking brownies. And don't even get me started on the Undead. Why, I even think the Bedouins are all passed out before they start singing the Campfire Songs.

3. As Knight Lead, would you feel that it's desirable to bring the knights into a tighter-knit group? Why or why not? How would you go about archieving your vision?

DANO WYLIE: Yes it is most inportant that the knights work as one. To have the same goals and interest. To this end I would first establish a Councel of Elders. They will wright a Code of Conduct that all knights will be asked to fallow, a code that all knights can live with. These Elders will be there for the Knights in times of need to help with questions of how to porcced when they have questions.

SERAF CLIP: Yes bringing the knights into a tighter-knit would be the best thing to do becouse we need the group work as a team and not indivudualy.. trying to be heros or something.. We are a big family.. and we should be acting like one, helping each other.

PRIMO BABII: yes i will make the round table rules the leader is a stong by the support of his knights i wil rule with a democratic vote on every issue we face and i wil make sure we arent weak and we are all act as one its very important to be a tight nit

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: There is a rumor that the Knights group will soon be divided into different factions. It will be imperative to strive to keep the Knights together as a family. I intend to do this by initiating a structured training program for all new Knights. Our new Knights are hungry for knowledge and friendship and a sense of belonging. I will create a role of "Knights Trainer" for any Knights who may be interested in mentoring a new recruit. This important position will be a proper jumping off point for them to learn the ways of the Knights without having to guess. I have already gathered the necessary scrolls of information that these "Knights Trainer" will need to supply to the new recruits. I hope they will add their own experiences as well. All who enter our ranks will feel the kinship immediately, thus strengthening our bond of family.

STINKY: Weellll....... I believe that we should be our own people, and that my person is King. King of the Knights. At Night. And as King, I'd have them all Bow To My Supreme Power. At Night. During the Day too, actually. It's just the way of things, and how I like it.

4. There is a rule that Knights should only help prey when asked, though I am sure some prey are shy about asking for help. How would you ensure they understand how to request help from the Knights?

DANO WYLIE: The knights need to make them selves better known to the prey. Meet them talk with them show them they are there to help not only when being chased, but after if they have a crule master that would abbuse them they the Knights will step in.

SERAF CLIP: Well maybe handing out notecards to them about what to do if in need of a knights help and than prooving ourselves when they really need help that we do go to their aid

PRIMO BABII: this issue is very hard to deal with dam if you help and dam if you don't i normaly ask and see the reaction of the prey

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: For months, I have kept a special set of scrolls specifically designed for new prey, explaining the finer details of the Knights' role in their lives. As I patrol my rounds, I am diligent in introducing myself to all new prey I see and bestowing these scrolls on them. As a Leader, I will ensure that all Knights will have the same scrolls to be able to introduce themselves to our Flowers of the Sand.

STINKY: Weeeellll... I would cap the prey myself and torture them until they ask for help, then kill everyone I see nearby. Nice and clean and no witnesses. Right, and then I'd sing a campfire song 'cause those make me feel good after trying to keep the peace.

5. Do you believe there's any truth to the rumor that knights are defecting to other camps due to weak leadership and practices?
How can that be changed?

DANO WYLIE: No i do not for a Knight who is truly a Knight in there heart can be nothhing else.

SERAF CLIP: Well that might be true but also we knights have to put up with alot from others outside the knighthood.. constantly giving us a hard time and we have to stay calm and be nice to everyone.. even if they say nasty things at us which is difficult sometimes to hold our temper. Takes alot of selfdicipline to be and stay a knight.

PRIMO BABII: yes defently. we need a strong leader to unite us and mak e us strong and not a prey as we are now not respected in ireem if we support each others as knight instead of standing by our desire for sex and to please a certain women we might be straong and united

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: A Knight may leave their camp for many reasons. Some of which we may never know. If their reason is because of weak leadership and practices, I can foresee these things changing by having this election. The brave Knights of Ireem will now have a direction and focus by having a leader to follow. If I am that leader you can be assured that I will always listen to both sides of a grievance before giving advice. I will always weigh all options before suggesting a road to take. My rules will be strong advice only, for I know that it will always be up to the individual to follow their heart on what they believe is right.

STINKY: Wellll.....There's nothing a few good campire songs won't help. We'll have everyone joining us to become a Knight. And I'll be king, and enforce mandatory campfire songs. Yessir.

6. There have been reports of Knights in the auction area teasing slaves/captured predators that are being sold instead of trying to assist or help them. Is this ever justified, in your opinion?

DANO WYLIE: This is not acceptable in any way as knights must hold them selves to a higher standerd than others. To show disrespect to any is not the way of a knight. Does it happen yes we are all human and some times we do fail our selves.

SERAF CLIP: I've heard about that before but it happens sometimes of which i am not proud of but i sopose they have a personal reason at times.. and teasing like such should be avoidable as much as possible.

PRIMO BABII: i have never heard of it and if that happen i don't agree with it

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: Oh Nelly, no.

STINKY: Weell.. I think it builds character and teaches a good lesson. By teasing the poor person on auction, they learn not to piss so many people off. You can avoid doing that by joining the Knights and singing Campfire Songs.

7. How do you feel about knights selling slaves/captured predators on the auction block? Is this fine, or should it be discouraged?

DANO WYLIE: What a knight does whith his or her captives is of thers concern. If they choose to sell them then so be it. So long as the captive is no abused.

SERAF CLIP: It should be discouraged becouse if we would do so we would not be any different from the predators and would be called ones.. and if they have nothing to do with the predators just let them go to show them your honor.

PRIMO BABII: it should be discouraged

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: No one can predict every situation that may arise. But as a general rule, it is a Knights obligation to protect and free (if so desired by the captured) the fair Prey of Ireem. We are outside of the loop of capturing and selling.

STINKY: Weeell.. We need to get money to feed Camell's drinking problem somehow. It's either that or selling naked drawings of Jordina.

8. Any final words for Ireem?

DANO WYLIE: The Knights have always been here in service to the pepole of Ireem and will continue to do so.

SERAF CLIP: Call us if you need help or protection and know were always there for you all.

PRIMO BABII: My final word
I love K O S if it wasn't for K O S
i would ve left sl all together
we need to change few things like the knigh code add few more rules to it

BIKKUIGAIJIN KITAJ: Ireem is a city in constant agression at the moment. I believe that fighting is not the answer to all conflict. There are times when a battle is inevitable, but there are just as many times that we can use a greater resource at hand:
Our carefully chosen and crafted words.
Speak to each other, understand one another's point of view so that we may come to live in harmony.

During my brief internment at the Slavers camp, I learned a great deal about how others see the Knights. It is unacceptable to me that we have been so misunderstood. I propose much more communication between camps. As Leader, I would have meetings between all group Leaders to discuss these misunderstandings. All of Ireem would be allowed to attend these meetings.

But, my friends, this agression does need an ACCEPTABLE outlet. As Leader, I would hope to re-introduce the Gladiator Tournaments at Ireem. Controlled contests whereby we may vent our steam in structured battle and test our fighting skills without the anger driving it.

STINKY: Weelll... Ireem should all get together around one big campfire and sing a song. A campfire song. At night. And we can burn our captives on the campfire. It'll smell bad, but at least it'll be fun.

-----------------

Happy Voting everyone!

WARNING TO ALL PREY:

They're gettin' hitched!

There will be a small ceremony at KoS at 7:30pm (we hope!) Eastern (that's New York time for all you furriners). (4:30PM SL time) Feel free to come naked. It will not be a very formal ceremony, with Anneliese Wolfenhaut at Magical Binder for the Handfasting. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Ooo, hand bondage..)

The time is completely tentative, as there have been reports of the happy couple running to seperate corners of the kingdom, screaming something about commitment and cowering when they see members of the opposite sex (or anyone, in Bikku's case). So... really, it could happen anytime tonight, as soon as we can gather the people we need to track them down, tie them both up, and sit them in position. We do it for love :)

Something else do for love is poetry. Here's some!:
--------
Beloved Krist,
Earth to my fire
You steady me
We can blaze alight knowing we have the means
To bring ourselves back to reality.
You are a dream I did not even know I needed.
We balance each other
And I am so in love with you.
Your Bik(ku)

Darling Bik(ku),
I was entranced when we first met but was too shy to say. We drifted apart but came back together. You played hard to get until you saw that I would love you and wait for you to decide. You made my heart jump when you came to me and I am now complete.
Your Krist
-----

Do you have a poem about being partnered? The Happy couple(tm) would like to invite you to share it in the comments section. :)

Have a taste for the pure? Want to corrupt the innocent? By golly..you can, here in Ireem, we have virgins still!

It's been brought to my attention that we have a few virgins running around the sand, good at running, excellent of wit and sharp of tongue to get out of any situation. What , pray tell..could this sweet, succulent flesh be worth?

One of our very own..Isabo Baxton has admitted to me this night that she is of virgin blood still...how long will that last....

Any more of you out there? Let me know, we'll get you taken care of!

- Tre

[taken from the notes of Sage Rosenfeld... ULTIMATE reporter.]

Again with the Mefusulas! Can't a Djinn get any peace? I was peacefully minding my own business hunting down a nubile young lady in the city in order to return her coin purse to her and suddenly these things show up again, engaging the Knight Bluesky Schenker in a fierce battle before the Ireem's Defenders of Horniness, Skip Thespain, Seraf Clip and dashing redheads Enigma Watkins, and Arial Beaumont joined the fray.

Driving the invaders back into the palace courtyard, the all-too familliar random nonsensical jibberish was heard from them, although one of the creatures made clear through careful application of miming that his goal in Ireem was to eat Skip. Asked if he swings that way, The Magi replied in the negative, answering one of the age-old questions that have haunted the man known to Ireem as "Pretty boy". And what morning wouldn't be complete without poor Sage being chased around by a freaky blue manifestation of supreme obnoxiousness yelling "5!nn3r!!!" repeatedly? It's nice to be loved.. and I for one am not letting these glorified village idiots stop me from being loved.. hopefully by multiple partners.

Finally they disappeared from the palace courtyard and scattered, as usual, revealing precious little about thier motivations before doing so.

So for now, Ireem, the exact nature of this threat is still unknown, except for the fact that it's very ugly. As a public service, the Ireem Chronicles has setup an Ireem Virgin Registry for anyone who wishes to declare themselves virgins, and thus not subject to attack by the creatures. So far, the following have added thier names to the list: (Please feel free to use comments for this article to declare your virginity as well)

Chantalle Atlass
Cliona Blaisdale
MasterJ Swashbuckler

So, scary magi spirit things, if you happen to read the Chronicle, you don't need to attack these people. They're virgins. Thank you.

Sage