Aizen's True Plot...revealed:
I apologize...for misleading everyone with the false lies of Nergal. Thruth is..Nergal is nothing more but a myth, a cover up to blind the citizens of Ireem from my true plans.
My True History: Aizen was an Astrologist many years ago..very wise, and gained much knowledge from his studies. Through astral magic he learned from Arabic and exorcisms he was taught from christian and jewish teachings, he created Necromancy. The ability to reanimate a soul into a corpse...Later he mastered this new technique and was able to lengthen his life by transfering his soul into corpses...hence why he is over hundreds of years old.
His travels ended in Ireem, a place he visited many times..growing bored of humanity..thinking of himself as being an advance species..
Lately he has been decieving everyone..claiming a mythical god, Nergal, the reason of his long life and powers..using it as a cover up to distract Ireem..the war..the pregnancies...all a distraction while he made many visits to the library.....until now..
Aizen Wind..has found out that the heart of Ireem holds the relic...to turn him into a god...to change the world in his image..and to fill the empty throne of the gods...
Beware Ireem...as of this day... .....humans...will..... . .. . .
(Aizen Wind)
It's with great sadness that I received this note from Elder recently. For those who may have been living in a cave, Elder is the owner and manager of the Cafe Arabesque.
A number of fine merchants in recent months have left Ireem discouraged by the violence and unremitting preoccupation with fighting. I have tried to establish the Cafe Arabesque as a haven of peace, hospitality, lively discussion and friendliness, despite some conflicts, attacks and threats against me personally. I met met and cherish the friendship of many fine men and women of all groups, without stereotyping. But the cumulative discouragement, highlighted by a fresh set of petty disputes, insults and threats have tipped the scales for me, as the supports fade.
So I am leaving the Cafe and Ireem to offer hospitality elsewhere in a more civil setting. Rent is paid for another week, and if anyone would like my dinars to free slaves, let me know...and I will try to transfer them to you.
Those I like and will miss are too many to name, but accept my farewell and best wishes.
Time to forget about war and old feuds for a while! Saturday January 10th 2009 at 1 PM SL-time, MasterJ, Kylara, Minihai and Sage invite you to participate in a contest of who is the most promising Bedouin. A good Bedouin knows how to hunt and fight in the desert, and is a total charmer . Keep that in mind when you read about the chaos we have planned for you all!
The event consists of 3 stages which all take place in the desert on the Beduside and all the way up to the Djinn-temple but not around the city:
1 - Who is the best opportunist?
2 - Test your true hunting skills
3 - Test your stamina and fighting skills
Rules:
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Stage 1:
This stage is meant to find out if you can seek out prey that is the best opportunity for you. Will you try to go for the easiest prey with 10 other predators or will you run after that evasive wench alone? What are your best chances on success?
On Saturday 1pm SLT, five prey from Stage 1 will be standing ready on the Bedouin hill for you predators out there (yes, it's OUR hill). Each of the Stage 1 prey have an unlimited supply of coins unique to that particular boy or girl. MJ will start a countdown and then it is off hunting the poor prey. (Do *NOT* hunt the Stage 2 prey at this time... they will be clearly labeled on thier tags) Upon capturing the prey, she (read he/she from now on please) will give the successful predator a coin. The predator immediately releases the prey again so she can be caught by another predator. Once the predator has coins from 2 different girls, he will bring them to the Bedouin hill and hand them over to Master J. For that predator, Stage 2 then begins. PLEASE NOTE: You will have to catch two DIFFERENT prey. Catching the same prey twice won't allow you to continue.
Please note that Stage 1 continues until Stage 2 is complete. Predators who bring 2 different coins into MJ will continue to advance to Stage 2 during that time.
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Stage 2:
This stage is meant to find out if you are a true hunter. No more opportunity and tactics but instead show us that you can catch the fastest prey available: HUNT
Once a predator has given the 2 coins to MJ, MJ will write down the name of the predator and s/he will be hunting again. This time for 1 of 2 prey that have been selected by MJ himself as: "never been able to catch yet". So yes, this is a true hunting challenge. The sooner you have the two coins from stage 1, the sooner you can hunt one of the two preys from this stage. So you will have a huge advantage when you are fast in capturing prey in the first stage.
Once one of the Stage 2 prey is captured, the captor will bring her to the bedouin camp victoriously where she will kneel at his/her feet until the other is brought in too. Stage 2 continues until the other Stage 2 prey is caught, at which point both Stage 1 and Stage 2 end.
Side note: MJ is offering either predator that captures a Stage 2 girl 100K if brought in topless (or 200K if naked!). As a Bedu you should know how to charm a girl out of her clothes!
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Stage 3:
This stage is meant to test the stamina and fighting skills of the two predators that were victorious in the previous stage.
Once the 2nd girl of the previous stage is caught, MJ will shout that the event enters the final stage. All hunting should stop immediately, we ask people to take off all tags and unnecessary scripted objects and we gather again around the Bedouin hill. The two winners will each get a new predator-tag so they don't have an advantage over each other in fighting.
The two winning predators will free the prey they caught in exchange for having the opportunity to fight with each other in the desert for the title (freeing the girls is NOT optional!) No running to safe zones and no eating in-between! Simply a battle as it would be in the arena.
The winner of this fight will be crowned as the person who is the "Best Potential Bedouin" and will be presented a nice prize! The prey that put their lives at risk running for all of your pleasure will get a present too.
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For all of you prey out there that think they have no chance in a fight, I would like to say this: "Maybe two totally inexperienced fighters will turn out to be the best hunters and you will have the chance to fight each other for the title"
We want to ask all preds and prey to take off the regular KoS tags and only use the tags provided by us for the event, which will be given out by Sage. (Kora has approved the use of the event-specific tags)
For questions, suggestions or remarks about the event, or would like to volunteer as prey for Stage 1, please contact MasterJ Swashbuckler or Kylara Kuhn.
Happy hunting!
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SYNOPSIS:
TIME: 1pm SLT
DAY: Saturday, Jan 10th
Various Events and interestingness:
1. CURRENT EVENT: Rumor has it that there will be a battle between the Bedu and Knights at Slaver's Bay at approximately 3pm SLT. Fortunately for the combatants, The Enchantress KCEE used her magic to drive the scorpions away from the slaver camp in an act of kindness to the slaver leader, so the area will only reek of the smell of unbathed opportunists.
2. Rumor also has it that Anneliese has put some kind of a terrible, horrible, nasty spell on Priya Rajal. Speaking personally, I always believe it when I hear about Anne doing terrible things, because it's really the more believable than "Anne was helping the less fortunate" or "Anne was planting trees to make Ireem beautiful" or "Anne decided to spare the life of the carolers who disturbed her".
3. Chris Wilder: "Chris Wilder is a great leader of the Slavers..." (he's the most confused of all of them.)
4. BGSS loves her Master!
5. Nakira, Djinn Leader: "I would like to share the fact that purple ponies are fun, and flying cats are trouble."
6. Drasy Denimore leaves a note at the dungeon addressed to Rana as the leader of the city guard. It reads as follows: "It is of some concern that certain slaver filth seem to have the idea that robbing 'rich citizens' would be a good business venture to fill their pockets. Two slavers were overheard to be discussing just such when I happened to pass them by outside the city. The two in question are known to me as I have had problems with them in my Inn in the past. Cowboy and his fighting slave, who's name I do not know, (Editor: aislinn) even named myself 'Drasy' as a target for their musings. As a a tax paying and lawful citizen of Ireem such a plot to begin robbing citizens concerns me. I would ask the city guard to investigate these scoundrels and investigate if they have already been robbing citizens." the note is signed with 'Lady Drasyndra, owner of the Good Knights Inn'.
7. Kiko Serenity: Well I am new here and already learning it is very hard to be an undead with these stinking humans always acting as vultures... and they say we are bad. So anyway, my sexy brother Craven was going to the fishing boat to fish and along comes a guard by the name of Dalilah who also wanted to fish, he was there first so naturally he ignored her and went to fish. She then took him captive so she can have her fishing spot back! :O .... then sold the sexy guy on the block to teach him not to take her fishing spot... I hereby declare that she can TRY to take that fishing spot from ME but I won't have it! I plan to push her off the boat next time I see her fishing on that boat when my brother should be!!!!
love Kiko
9. Kahdoosch Alter wonders: "Can I regurgitate my cock?"
--- and such is Ireem
Violence against the Bedu will be met with the same. The knights wish for a war, then Bedouin will bring that war to them. No quarter is to be given by and Bedoiun. I expect the sand to run red with the blood of knights.
Mercy....... is out of the question. There is no place for that here. Simply death........
Dano, your wish is granted by My blade, enjoy the hell you have brought upon yourself and your family.
Bedouin......Kill them all.
I'm writing this note (which is a paid advertisement - Sage extorted me) to tell all the people of Ireem that I'm counting on your votes. Don't forget that I will give you a present for them. That includes you, Sage. (I hope the money that you took from me for this note includes your vote).
I would like to say that if I'm elected I will continue protecting the Sultana's boobies .... (oops, where is the eraser?)
I will demand a new tax be issued to cover the salaries of the dungeon keepers. If the knights get a salary, and they aren't employees of the kingdom, why don't we get a salary?
Don't forget that I've paid for this Sage. (I want you to disguise yourself as dungeoner and vote for me - I will be there to open the door.)
And of course "I'm gonna be a Ninja! Ninja Ninja Ninja!! BELIEVE IT!" and I will take all the corruption from Ireem.
I will remove corruption from Ireem with the help of all the dungeoners - no one in Ireem will be corrupt (only us).
I will throw parties, too, as Rana is promising (but paid ones of course - there is a crisis out there in the sands.)
If someone attacks us I will pay the other groups to help us and then after they've killed each other I will take all the money from those bastards.
And I will do it while I caress our pet (anyone with big and nice boobies and HARD nipples... of course) and tell poetry.
Don't forget that I'm the biggest (even though the smallest in size) poet of Ireem.
- the sands are hot and I see a spot
- the sun was high I saw her boobies and went shy
- the palace was fresh and I couldn't stop thinking of touching her flesh
- and I stopped eating my cookies just to watch the Sultana's boobies
Tell me if this isn't great poetry?
As a dungeon keeper we are in an excellent position for business. (I even started a private security firm called MAFIA).
Don't forget that I'm paying for votes, so if you need some money look for me (it is very easy money - just vote and get paid).
NINJA FIRANELLI - the BIG poet of Ireem
((Those who will desguise to vote on me for being paid, please tell Kora after so she can take those votes out, and don't forget to use a tag saying "vote for Ninja for the gift", or you can just pretend you have voted.))
(PAID POLITICAL MESSAGE)
Once again there is war in ireem the Bedouin leader is unreasonable and the knights will not have it. They have abused our knights when taken prisoner and now he sends out his Bedouin to try to kill one of us to gain back her memory. The knights are having no more of it- if a Bedouin is outside their camp the knights will attack on sight. We will not be treated like this any longer. We are at war.
Dano Wylie
EDITOR'S NOTE: The Bedouin Leader, Shiekh Jordan, has expressed that a response to this declaration will follow shortly.
As one of Ireem's mystics, I sometimes learn of alarming situations and I quietly take action to avert them. I feel this is one of my responsibilities as a mage of our fair kingdom.
In this case, however, I must ask for the assistance of every dungeon guard.
Ninja Firanelli is running for the very important position of Leader for the Dungeon Guards.
I have read the tarot and I am more than a little concerned.
The cards tell a tale of theft and deceit. They speak of lies and cheating, and deep, deep corruption.
They also warn that the Sultana will be insulted, innocent people arrested out of greed, and possibly wars started.
I am not sure exactly what the warning regarding the breasts is about, but I assure you, it seems rather dreadful.
It is clear to me, dungeonkeepers, that the reading is a warning to you to vote for ANYONE but Ninja Firanelli for dungeon leader.
He is sure to bring chaos. And even worse, bad poetry.
Sincerely,
Anneliese Wolfenhaut
Magi Leader
P.S. This plea has nothing to do with the $1,000 k that Ninja stole from me.
(PAID POLITICAL MESSAGE FROM THE MAGI LEADER, ANNELIESE WOLFENHAUT.)
It was early in the morning when a pair of Djinn were negotiating with one of Ireem's citizens only to be interrupted by slaver leader Chris Wilder, who made some wild threats and was warned be the Djinn of Deals, also known simply as "The Wind" (Serahjim Rajal) not interfere with their affairs. Chris, enthusiastic as ever, proceeded to attack the Djinn, who reportedly did not bother to draw his weapon, instead preferring to simply vanish. He would appear roughly an hour later in the auction square holding a large scorpion at his back.
He pulled the scorpion from his back and as he held it in his hand it turned to sand, blowing freely toward the slaver's camp. He would turn to Chris, also at the auction square, and tell him that a plague of scorpions would be the cost of his arrogance against the djinn, noting that the magic would be lifted only when Chris humbles himself with an apology to all three parties that stood upon the wall.
Asked for his reaction to the incident, Chris replied angrily, "The Djinn will pay for this! "
The Djinn "Leader", Nakira, giggled gleefully when told of the incident, adding, "Doesn't surprise me one bit... I personally would have gone with purple hail, but scorpions have style too."
The Catacombs are an excellent source of many vitamins and minerals, keeping your slave healthy and lean and ready to serve you. Rat Brain Stew has been proven by extensive research to be literally the perfect nutritional food. And the best thing- there's phosphorous in the catacombs, making your favorite slave glow in the dark, perfect for those pesky ones that try to run away from your clutches at night! Now you can simply catch them again and beat them into submission for thier insolence at your leisure.
(NOTE: Silk Pillow slaves don't appreciate the whole "Beating into submission" thing. Consult your slave for her/his preferences, but most react well to being fed chocolates and fine wines while recieving a foot massage when they misbehave.)
A Note from the Bedouin camp:
Amidst the battle of the waging war, Sheikh Jonathon Moriarty pulled Sheikh Jordan (MasterJ) aside and requested a meeting. Jonathon had been sorely pressed on both sides by attackers and was wounded badly.
A meeting was called and Jonathon asked for Jordan to take up the banner for the Bedouin as leader, and press on with the attack. After much talk, it was agreed that such a decision should not be made in wartime, and waited until matters were in control again and the land was safe.
Later, on a sunny day, overlooking the sands from Bedu hill, the two Sheikhs talked again, and came to an agreement. Jordan agreed to take up the banner and lead the Bedouin to let Jonathon rest and recover from the many attacks on his life.
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This means that Jordan (MasterJ Swashbuckler) will be interim leader at this point until such time another election can take place. Personally, in this editor's opinion, I have to wonder if he's going to be too distracted with that harem of girls he's keeping to really pay attention to anything more than a figurehead. Is there truth to the rumor that the Bedu Camels wield the true power in the Bedu Camp???
About a week ago I sent out questionnaires to each of the three Dungeon Guard candidates - Rana Robbiani, Copper Convair, and Ninja Firanelli. This particular round is unique, in this I have only recieved a single response - Rana's. Copper is away in a foreign land and gave his consent for the article to continue without his input, however Ninja simply never responded to the people's thirst for knowledge. In an effort to make up for his shortfallings, I have taken it upon myself to come up with Authentic Reproductions of Answers Ninja Might Have Given for everyone's education about this election.
Without further adieu, your candidates:
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1. Is there a role that you would ideally like to see the Dungeon Guards fill as predators in Ireem? Describe your vision.
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RANA:
We always protect the Sultana and whenever she calls for us we answer at once.... and with our lives we do what ever it takes to obey her wish...
If i look forward in ireem´s sunrises and sundawns i see us Dungeons like this: We`ll protect all who deserve our protection... they who doesn´t... we`ll kick their asses and we do it hard...cause if they dont deserve our protection they deserve to feel the kiss of a dungeonsword....slow and with a touch of love before they eats the sand..We Dungeons are filled with love so we should have a role to care of peopels who deserve our love..
Absolutely Possibly Factual Answer NINJA could have given:
boobies *drool*
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2. What makes you a good leader for the Dungeon Guards?
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RANA:
I am sweet and polite and i obey that one i serve 101 % (Sultana)
I´m always up for something fun and i love to use my sword (if it´s not laggy). My strength is that i´m stubborn as hell and always up for funny things.... i am a good friend and i love food...(not slaverfood cause once i did one thing in it) I´m good at to make peopels listen to me and i´m a good listner self to others....hrrm if it´s not an enemie of course .. in that case i use my sword at first..
NINJA probably would have said:
I'm gonna be a Ninja! Ninja Ninja Ninja!! BELIEVE IT!
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3. What plans do you have for the faction, if you are elected? Are there any glaring issues that you feel need to be addressed within the guards?
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RANA:
I want people in our group that are a true dungeons... in their souls... not anyone who changes meter every day.. and if i become leader i would make a party every month to pay my fellows back for that they always follow their duty... and always try to have fun
Absolutely Reproduced Answer of an Imagining of NINJA's Mind:
There's too much sand in the desert. Using my secret ninja training, I would make everyone put the sand in little jars, and sell them to raise money to buy a jelly-like substance to replace the sand with.
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4. Suppose another faction decides that it's out to kill members of the guard. What do you do as leader?
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RANA:
First of all i gonna see witch tribe it is then do a quick overlook and try to see the reason why they attack us....call for their leader and talk with him/her then i call all my Dungeons together with swords drawn...tell them whats going on and spread all out and make it safe for our Sultana....if they still attack us we simply kill them.... all....if there is any survival we take them to dungeon and toture them if it´s needed...
Could actually be said by NINJA:
Stare longingly at thier boobies then take a nap. A long one.
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5. If you could have any kind of pet for the dungeon, what would it be? Does that pet breathe fire, acid, or mint frosting?
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RANA:
It is a small icedragon... born in the cathedral of Wyrms..and it´s gonna breath mintfrosting....cold but soooo fresh
Smells like Teen NINJA:
*snore* *drool* Ninnja boobiess....
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6. What do you enjoy about being a Dungeon Guard, as opposed to being a member of the another faction?
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RANA:
It´s a simple question..... We are the best... we have an important duty to follow... to protect the Sultana ,the citizens, that mission makes us treat others with respect.. I´m proud to be a Dungeon... besides i would be devestated to walk around as a smelly beduin with all those flies around my head hehe
Pretty sure this is NINJA:
"Guard" rhymes with "Hard"... I like Hard Nipples...
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7. Any final thoughts for Ireem?
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RANA:
My dream is to be there with no lag at all And i just want all to have fun... always and i do my best to create funny things for me and all i know in Ireem.
I swear I heard NINJA say:
Has anyone seen Phox Sillanpaa? Ringo Villota want to know anything about Phox... yeah, the Chronicles is like, the best paper ever.... with the sexiest editor..... she's got some nice boobies....
helps her keep a breast of current events... ha ha.. get it?
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