The Ireem Chronicles

Balance has been lost in Ireem, it seems along with all rationality.

Last night I witnessed a terrible thing. I had been captured by a nasty little dungeoner, named Ninja Frinelli. (Avoid him, ladies, if you can, he'll make you dance in your underwear while he recites bad poetry and tries to get you drunk on chantilly. I shudder at the memory.)

The terrible thing which I witnessed with my own eyes, was really a disruption in the fabric of the universe. That's right. An imbalance in Ireem which I fear will take our fine kingdom down.

Last night knights and slavers worked together -- in a terrible alliance -- to save a mage from the auction block.

As I stood in the stands of the arena, bent over at the waist by that terrible dungeoner, I sort of was able to watch the fight out of the corner of my eye. There were nearly two dozen knights and slavers fighting to save me... all against one little, nasty man.

The dungeoner lost, yet still threw me on the ground in utter submission (the only way to make me shorter than himself, which appears to be one of his greatest goals in life). I lay there, on the ground in the auction area, getting accidentally stepped on by otherwise heroic knights, and listening to slavers plead with the dungeoner to let me go, and NOT sell me.

Only one slaver appeared to me to be any threat to my safety at all. Storm was discussing rather indecent things he'd do to me if he could.. and other slavers came to my defense, arguing about it with him.

It felt kinda nice, actually, to hear Leon, who used to terrify me when I was new to Ireem, and much more innocent, trying to protect me from another slaver. I'm starting to think the slaver bay perhaps isn't the horrible place I'd always imagined. I'm thinking of asking if I can visit for tea, perhaps offer my charm classes right there, to make it easier on the busy guys.

But, truly, what is our kingdom coming to when slavers will battle to keep a mage from the auction block? Particularly when several of those slavers had been threatening to cap and enslave her themselves, just a day or two earlier...

There I was, with all the knights, and most of the slavers, trying to save my silly self... from what? An auction where clearly no one would try to buy me for anything dishonorable!

I think if they had simply let the dungeon man put me on the auction stand, a bid of 10 dinar would have won me, as everyone else appeared to simply want to let me free!

I sit in the tower, as I write this, shaking my head in bafflement. As a mage and a mother I highly enjoy the nice, warm, fuzzy feeling I get when I remember Leon defending my honor, and my dear friend, Chantalle, offering herself in trade for me. However, part of me must wonder -- what is wrong with me that slavers weren't interested in buying me from the dungeon man for their own.. um.. purposes?

Could it be that WongFei has been sharing the charm lessons I gave him with his fellow slavers? Or, I cringe to wonder, is it that a mother of two simply cannot compete with the lovely prey to be found on the sands?

The next time I see a slaver, I sincerely hope he considers my feminine pride and threatens to capture and enslave me. Otherwise, I might have to start taunting the bedouins to get such attention, and we all know they aren't a real threat to anybody.

Please hear my plea, people of Ireem! Let knights be good, and slavers be nasty. It is, after all, only proper, not to mention, good for the economy!

-Anneliese Wolfenhaut