Tuesday, 26th October at 2pm Slt The funeral of Captain Smooth Citron will begin with a procession through the city. It will begin from the Infirmary, passing the palace, through the city gates to the arena where a short service will be held.

The service will consist of his friends sharing their memories of the Captain before his body is taken back to the palace to be laid to rest in the royal crypt.

Anyone wishing to share their memories of this great man please contact Alina Furuseth as soon as possible.

Thank you

Dear inhabitants of Ireem !

We all know that most of the slavers, most of the time are hunting innocent women or drinking.
I never touched that slaver called Ninxy! I'm sure he was drunk, walking around the city, stumbled and fell, it should probably be in love with me, thinking of me at that moment and as he was drunk he mistook his thoughts .

If I had any interest in killing the slaver, I would have done it publicly because I do not hide my actions and I let it clear the reason, I would never do a job half done *grins*

Not the first time slavers trying to ruin my reputation, another slaver called AFK Wasp accused me of assault, Sexual Harassment and That I Offered Money for sexual services, what is an absurd. The most people of Ireem know me! I do not have this such of behavior, I take my duty very serious !

It will only be a matter of time before they pay for these false accusations or apologize publicly before they are hunted. Or I can forgive him if he is in love and he can´t hold it *chuckles*

Thank you!

Commander Milly

Slavers Leader

Salaam Brothers and Sisters,

I, Glenn Graves, will go out sailing for about 20 days. I will try to find RUM for all the slavers on my journey so we can have the best party ever in Ireem!

I did ask a new young slaver to be the leader from the slavers, his name is kijani Scorpio. Please help him to let the Slavers rule again. Kijani, I wish you all the luck from Ireem, I know you can do it!

Glenn Graves

Another sexy woman of Ireem, that shows what she has to offer: Miss Grizel Halberstadt ! Enjoy the picture and her little interview as followed:

Question: "What turns you on?"
Answer: "Fun and funny people. Life is too short to be so serious! Oh and cookies! We don't have cookies in Ireem! Why don't we have cookies??? KORA!!! I WANT COOKIES !!! "

Question: "What turns you off? "
Answer: "Drama! I know everyone says they don't want drama usually are the ones dishing it best, but I just walk away the second you bore me with it. "

Question: "If you could have sex with anyone in Ireem who would it be? "
Answer: "Hrmmm... well that would be telling. Oh I know! The sultana! She's so pretty and so lonely up there in the tower I am a priestess who advocates love so I can call it ministry! Yeah that's it! "

Question: "Who in Ireem would you least like to have sex with? "
Answer: "Undead! Pew! Especially that drippy zombie one! *gagging noises*

Question: "Tell us something embarrasing about yourself."
Answer: "I'm not a real redhead."


Salaam my dear Ireemians!

I want inform you that my beloved Guard Captain Smooth Citron is dead last night.
I am very sad about that. He was loyal and my confident too, I am sure that I'll miss him forever.


If someone knows where his body is buried, please inform me. I wish to bring there a fresh flower of my garden. Of course I and my court are in mourning.

Sultana
Zanlu Heron




The Clan of Bi'itu-isu happily announces that our most gracious and - as will be demonstrated by this announcement - generous political chieftan Nakuru Bi'itu-isu has accepted the meager Bride Price of a breeding sow and three piglets, three milk cows (possibly stolen), a donkey, unicorn foal and some goats (though probably not enough for a proper wedding feast) for his daughter, the voice of Apis in Ireem, Yannena Homewood nee’ Bi’itu-isu.

Yannena is the only daughter of Nakuru, the business manager of the family mineral holdings and Guardian of the Abyssmal Gate. Her mother, living on the opposite side of the Gate is the Guardian of Baset and the Hand of Apis, the dispenser of Justice. Though young and deep in studies, Yannena has been named the Voice of Apis in Ireem and has recently accepted duties of Inquisitor and Counsel for the Sultana and the Palace of Ireem.

This paltry Bride Price was scraped together by Corum of Clan McConaught, allegedly a pig farmer’s son from the Sword Isles in the Northwest Sea some thousands of leagues outside the travel of any Bi’itu-isu Clan member. Corum is known to have deserted the City of Endless Virtue Tanelorn, in her hour of greatest need. He also served as mercenary soldier, desert guide and errand boy to the demoness Fury, who he later betrayed. He owns the Law Offices and runs the Benevolent Society of the Downtrodden and Untouchable (Commonly known as “The Thieves’ Guild.)

Pending Corum's completion of Ritual Tasks set by the Bride’s family, a ceremony binding Clan Bi’itu-isu with the McConaughts of the Sword Islands will be held Sunday, October 24th at 1 PM SLT in the Kingdom of Sand.
A Reception will follow the ceremony at the Mer Kingdom with music from our musician Evah Gothley around 2.30 PM SLT. If Corum fails in his Ritual tasks, we stone him to death and send him to Hell, same place and date, maybe music will be a little more upbeat.
The Clan of Bi'itu-isu

Changes

Dear readers !

After one and a half year writing for the Chronicles and even being the editor of it for over a year, I think it is time for a change. My Master Tim Speiser and myself, Dinky Wingtips are going into retirement and will make room for someone new !

As you all know, I am a Magi apprentice and have to study so many spells and potions, my head is nearly exploding with all this information. Master is not very satisfied with the results of my training and I always get a spanki.. I mean ... he tells me daily, that I have to improve my skills. But being busy with the paper every day, it is just impossible for me to fullfill his requests.
So we both decided together to concentrate on magic and give up on writing. It also is a good opportunity for the readers to get to know someone new and fresh. We always tried to write as objectivly as possible and I am sure we succeeded in never writing in a biased way at all *coughs and winks*. Nevertheless a new mind and a different point of view would be good for the paper.

So dear writers of Ireem:
- Are you interested in earning your dinar by running a newspaper ?
- Do you enjoy getting all the news first hand and sharing it with your readers ?
- Do you like investigating stories and interviewing people ?
- Are you good with words, do you have a sense of humor and can you entertain others ?

Then you are perfect for this job ! Please contact us, Tim Speiser or Dinky Wingtips, if you are interested in taking over the job and its responsibilities. We will make sure to forward your interest to our secret sponsor Miss Kora Zenovka.

Until a new editor is found, the current team of course will continue doing the job that you dear readers are used to !

Thank you in advance for your interest, loyalty and of course all the stories you brought to us to print !

Tim Speiser and Dinky Wingtips

Yesterday while standing close to the knights headquarter and daydreaming, suddenly a loud Splatt !! sound was to be heard, I turned to see what is going on and saw the slaver Ninxy laying unconscious on the floor ! Some people took care of him quickly, bringing him to the physician for a check up.

Two hours later I met him stumbling along the streets of Ireem, his body covered in bandages, he seemed to be far far away in his thoughts. I carefully walked over to interview him about what had happened. What he had to tell was very hard to understand and even harder to believe, I try to recall his exact words here for you, dear reader:

„I… I… who are you? Anyways, some details are still very foggy to me… my head hurts… but I will try and tell you what I do remember. After watching one of my slaves try to pin a rope to another slave’s rear end because she thought she was a cat, that’s another story in its self, I had my normal sip of um… “Miracle Water” I proceed to get slapped, allot, by one of the women in my clan… I’m not sure why… I then decided to take a stroll through Ireem.“
Here he took a sip out of the bottle on his broken peg leg before he continued:

„Ahhh, that’s helps a little, where was I? Oh yes, I was at one of the highest towers in Ireem looking down with my old spyglass for… some… uh, well that’s not what this story is about, when I was taken by surprise by one of the, well if you call her a “Knight”, knights of Ireem. I spun around and went to grab my blade but she already had hers drawn and at my throat. I asked “what you going to arrest a crippled peg-leg for?” she responded with “Arrest?“

Ninxy suddenly looked like feeling real dizzy, perhaps from the blood loss: “I’m ok… I think…I can’t remember much after that other than hurdling from the sky towards a crowd in front of the Knight’s Headquarter. After violently slamming into the ground I was looted of all my *coughs* “Miracle Water” by the Bedouin sluts. You were there… I remember your face….“

I agreed and told him, that I saw him laying there on the ground, almost dead and asked him if he should not be at the knights headquarter to report this inconceivable brutal act of voilence ! He winced and mumbled „I won’t…I won’t tell…because it was Milly, their captain who tried to murder me”, right after speaking those words he vomitted blood on the street and I got pushed to the side by a group of people, all worried about his health.

Dear reader, I hereby assure you, I tried my very best to get back to the man to investigate this accusation some more but the crowd just didnt let me ! Totally overreacting because of the little blood he was vomitting, they even yelled at me and called me nosey reporter !
Anyway, these are the facts for now, I am still shocked and cannot believe what I heard. Did the slaver speak the truth or did he knock his head so hard, that he doesnt remember the incident correctly anymore ? We will see, what Miss Milly will bring as her defense !

Today I found an anonymous scroll on the floor of the Chronicles office. Reading it, I thought this might be interesting for the citizen of Ireem, especially the business owners ! But read for yourself:

"Ireem!
Life has become expensive in the last days:
40 Dinars for simple Dates at the Food stall, 25 Dinars for a Hejira at the Good knights tavern or
40 Dinars for beer at the Slavers headquarter !
If you dont want to let the shop owners become millionaires, while our coins vanish faster than we are able to gain them, then join us! The ~Ireems Robin Hoods~ !
We fight for fair prices in Ireem, so all you greedy shop owners, be warned! "

The scroll was not signed, it seems to me, that the person who slipped it under the door was in a big hurry. The questions are:
  • What exactly is this group going to do against the price politics of the shop owners ?
  • Will they be succesful in their fight ?
  • And who the hell is this citizen Robin Hood ? I've never heard of him before, but I will for sure keep my eyes open !


Today we have the Pirate slaver prey Noirah Macarthur as our page three model ! And here is the little interview with her:


Question: "What turns you on?"
Answer: "Strong, intelligent and sexy men able to be soft while keeping its authority, its force. Men able to understand me and then find the good way to tame me."

Question: "What turns you off?"
Answer: "People with a whip using it on my sweet skin. Those which hurt me for no valid reason, physically or mentally. "


Question:" If you could have sex with anyone in Ireem who would it be?"
Answer: "Any sexy strong man who turns me on. "


Question:"Who in Ireem would you least like to have sex with?"
Answer: "Any man who cannot express his feelings and who is only able to growl during he takes you. "

Question: "Tell us something embarrasing about yourself."
Answer: "When i was refreshing myself in the oasis of bedouins camp. One of them, a leader, told me Bedouins throw camel's shits in the water. I was so surprised that I jumped quickly on my feet, feeling dirty and ashamed by being half naked in front of him. "

What: Fights of Randomness
Where: KoS Arena
When: Saturday, October 16, at 12:02pm SLT
Why: Because it's damn near impossible and frustrating to try to plan things for you people !

If you want to fight on Saturday, show up to the Arena. Fights will be set up on the spot and randomly.I may or may not charge entry fees, I may or may not give prizes...

Business owners may or may not want to sponsor fights. They may or may not message me to set it up...

Who knows what will happen !

Una Flux, Arena Mistress

Yesterday afternoon, while being in our Chronicles office doing… well, different things, knight Urso Kronsage came rushing in, all enraged and furious. We were wondering about this, as he normally is more the calm and settled type and asked him, what is going on.

He stated: „The reason I am here is to write a public bounty to all of Ireem! I am posting a bounty of 5000 dinar to who ever brings Bigs into custody and face trial. He seems to be in hiding and disguising himself making him hard to track. Once he's in custody, I will personally pay the bounty!“

The man he was talking about is the well known slaver Sir BigPapa Yifu. My Master was quite shocked about this statement and the amount of money, questioning the background of all this, while I was already looking deeper, playing with the idea of having 5000 Dinar and all the dresses, I could buy with so much money !

Urso answered my Master’s questions and I started to draw a picture of the wanted slaver for all Ireemians to recognize him easier. The ones, that do know him too, will recognize, how exact I was working on the picture, to make sure that every Ireemian will be able to find him easily:






Urso explained, why he is willing to pay such a high bounty to get this criminal: „He has attacked knights openly numberous times, captured my commander and put her in a cage, breaking out of jail, and to top it off. He is in open rebellion against the Sultana. He says slanderous things and plans to try and overthrow her. But with him roaming about the palace is not safe.“

So dear Ireemians, go out and chase this evil man ! Capture him and bring him to knight Urso, make sure, he has to pay for his crimes and above all: let us try to bring back the peace to our beloved city by arresting this man !


Only when our Sultana is out of danger, we can continue with our daily businesses. Until this, I will personally be out and hunt this man ! And I advise you all to do the same ! May the best one get him and the promised 5000 Dinar ! My drawing will for sure help you a lot to find this wanted man ! Good luck to us all !


Disclaimer: Any kind of resemblance to a certain undead jester is a pure coincidence and not to blame on the artist of the drawing or the author of this article !

Strange Times In Ireem!

Yes dear readers tis a sad day in Ireem. Wandering through the palace I found the royal chamber filled to over flowing. The Sultana was on her throne. It seemed she was passing judgment on Bigz, for what crime I do not know. She decreed that he shall stand trial for this crime tomorrow, after this declaration, Bigz expressed his,…errr….shall we say displeasure, in the Sultana.

The Knights led Bigz away and I thought the fun over for the day. Then Lord Rogue, whose misdeeds have been exposed at length in these pages, brought forward a man and introduced him to her highness.

Zanlu Heron: Rogue.. who is this man ?

Rogue Idlemind lifts a brow..."He's not...entirely what I'd call human but then...who is anymore? And carries more respect for others than I've seen from most"
Rogue Idlemind nods "Raven is his name M'Lady...though he can speak...heh....there ye are"

ravengraywalker Woodrunner: "my name is raven graywalker from the isle of albion your majesty"

Rogue Idlemind dips his head "I would vouch for his integrity...he should have the rights of a citizen..."

ravengraywalker Woodrunner: "prince of the clan graywalker son of alexadner graywalker and jarina of the sucubi deamon clan

Zanlu Heron: well, Sir Raven... nobody is guilty for his parents, so you are welcome in the citizen of Ireem.

ravengraywalker Woodrunner: i hold no ties to the undead of this relm nor do i wish to do so, i have from the outset tried to distance my self from the undead

Zanlu Heron: go on in this way.. Raven
Zanlu Heron: come to visit me, sometimes..so we can talk, i am curious to hear about your family.

This brief exchange raises several questions and concerns:

* Is this the new path of Ireem, Demons being treated as humans?

* Is the Sultana really surprised humans like Bigz turn to crime and hold no love for her, when she holds
Court with a self described demon and invites him to visit her?

* Do we humans not have the right to expect our leaders to protect us from these monsters who eat us to
Survive?

Safe paths to you all, dear readers in thee strange times. We at The Chronicles will continue to bring you any and all updates that are available. Perhaps we can even provide you with a response from the Sultana, if she isn’t too busy visiting with demons….

The Thirsty Djinn (A.k.a. The Good Knight Tavern) is having Ireem's first bi-monthly brewing competition! Proprietor Phox Sillanpaa has issued his challenge to the anyone that feels like they can brew a fine alcoholic beverage. The contest will feature generous cash prizes and an opportunity to have your drink served on the venue's menu.

The first place prize will be 1,000 Dinars, plus 200 for the first months stock. Second place will receive 800 Dinars, Plus the 200 for stock, and the same goes for third, in which the prize will be 500 Dinars. Drinks that win Honorable Mention will receive a contract to continue stocking thier beverages.

The competition will be held on October 12, 2010 at 1:00p.m. SLT in The Thirsty Djinn. Any drinks are welcome, no matter what ingredients may included.


The Blue Lagoon Cafe !

Every Day Featuring:

  • Food and Drinks
  • Double or Single Pole Dancing for your Slave
  • Romantic Couples and Singles Dancing
  • Live Events Every Tuesday Evening and Friday Mornings
October 5th, Tuesday Evening 7 PM - 9 PM SLT :
  • Musician Ariana Petrova: Best in Black Contest
  • The male and female voted best outfit in black will win 150 Dinar each
  • Don't have black? Come dance with your sweetie or have your slave pole dance, or just sit, make requests and listen to some awesome music.
October 8th, Friday Morning 9 AM-11 AM SLT:

  • Musician Ariana Petrova: Best in White Contest
  • The male and female voted best outfit in white will win 150 Dinar each
  • Don't have white? Come dance with your sweetie or have your slave pole dance, or just sit, make requests and listen to some awesome music.

Allison Jaerls

Dear fellow business owners,


Ireem has a hard time: daily robbery at our cashes, fighting in the streets, which stops us from doing business. People should understand we are the base of Ireems economy and should treat us with respect.

Therefor I propose to establish the IREEM BUSINESS ASSOCIATION and I invite you to participate. I invite you for a meeting on Wednesday, 6 October, 2 PM SLT at the slaves head inn.

We could talk about:
  • how to stop those robberies
  • mimimum prices for food and drinks
  • common activities like selling stamps for Santa Claus
  • or how to help each other in general
Please be there at wednesday. If you cannot come, but want to participate though, send me a message !!

Your business collegue, AM DEMINA

Recommended schedule of legal fees:

  • 25 Dinar for taking the case and defending one charge
  • 5 Dinar for each additional charge for first five additional charges
  • 10 Dinar for each additional charge after five additional charges

  • Protective Captivity 50 Dinar for 1st hour, 5 Dinar for each half hour thereafter, 1 hour minimum. Round UP to nearest half hour after 15 minutes.
  • SPECIAL FULL DAY RATE: 225 Dinar
  • Ransom Negotiation 5% of Ranson Amount.

Thieves Guild Services

  • Clan members - NO Guild fees
  • Free Legal Representaton
  • Protective Captivity-NO Charge

  • Non-Clan-Members 50 Dinar weekly fee
  • Free Legal Representation
  • Protective Captivity- No Charge

Corum McConaught

My dear People !

It is my pleasure to advise you all that Miss Page Siegel is my new private Secretary. She deserves also the title of “ Countess of Ireem “ for her loyalty and fairness and faithfulness.

Your Sultana
Zanlu Heron

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