The Ireem Chronicles

[taken from the notes of Sage Rosenfeld... ULTIMATE reporter.]

Again with the Mefusulas! Can't a Djinn get any peace? I was peacefully minding my own business hunting down a nubile young lady in the city in order to return her coin purse to her and suddenly these things show up again, engaging the Knight Bluesky Schenker in a fierce battle before the Ireem's Defenders of Horniness, Skip Thespain, Seraf Clip and dashing redheads Enigma Watkins, and Arial Beaumont joined the fray.

Driving the invaders back into the palace courtyard, the all-too familliar random nonsensical jibberish was heard from them, although one of the creatures made clear through careful application of miming that his goal in Ireem was to eat Skip. Asked if he swings that way, The Magi replied in the negative, answering one of the age-old questions that have haunted the man known to Ireem as "Pretty boy". And what morning wouldn't be complete without poor Sage being chased around by a freaky blue manifestation of supreme obnoxiousness yelling "5!nn3r!!!" repeatedly? It's nice to be loved.. and I for one am not letting these glorified village idiots stop me from being loved.. hopefully by multiple partners.

Finally they disappeared from the palace courtyard and scattered, as usual, revealing precious little about thier motivations before doing so.

So for now, Ireem, the exact nature of this threat is still unknown, except for the fact that it's very ugly. As a public service, the Ireem Chronicles has setup an Ireem Virgin Registry for anyone who wishes to declare themselves virgins, and thus not subject to attack by the creatures. So far, the following have added thier names to the list: (Please feel free to use comments for this article to declare your virginity as well)

Chantalle Atlass
Cliona Blaisdale
MasterJ Swashbuckler

So, scary magi spirit things, if you happen to read the Chronicle, you don't need to attack these people. They're virgins. Thank you.

Sage