The Ireem Chronicles

About a week ago I sent out questionnaires to each of the three Dungeon Guard candidates - Rana Robbiani, Copper Convair, and Ninja Firanelli. This particular round is unique, in this I have only recieved a single response - Rana's. Copper is away in a foreign land and gave his consent for the article to continue without his input, however Ninja simply never responded to the people's thirst for knowledge. In an effort to make up for his shortfallings, I have taken it upon myself to come up with Authentic Reproductions of Answers Ninja Might Have Given for everyone's education about this election.

Without further adieu, your candidates:
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1. Is there a role that you would ideally like to see the Dungeon Guards fill as predators in Ireem? Describe your vision.
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RANA:
We always protect the Sultana and whenever she calls for us we answer at once.... and with our lives we do what ever it takes to obey her wish...

If i look forward in ireem´s sunrises and sundawns i see us Dungeons like this: We`ll protect all who deserve our protection... they who doesn´t... we`ll kick their asses and we do it hard...cause if they dont deserve our protection they deserve to feel the kiss of a dungeonsword....slow and with a touch of love before they eats the sand..We Dungeons are filled with love so we should have a role to care of peopels who deserve our love..

Absolutely Possibly Factual Answer NINJA could have given:
boobies *drool*

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2. What makes you a good leader for the Dungeon Guards?
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RANA:
I am sweet and polite and i obey that one i serve 101 % (Sultana)
I´m always up for something fun and i love to use my sword (if it´s not laggy). My strength is that i´m stubborn as hell and always up for funny things.... i am a good friend and i love food...(not slaverfood cause once i did one thing in it) I´m good at to make peopels listen to me and i´m a good listner self to others....hrrm if it´s not an enemie of course .. in that case i use my sword at first..

NINJA probably would have said:
I'm gonna be a Ninja! Ninja Ninja Ninja!! BELIEVE IT!

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3. What plans do you have for the faction, if you are elected? Are there any glaring issues that you feel need to be addressed within the guards?
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RANA:
I want people in our group that are a true dungeons... in their souls... not anyone who changes meter every day.. and if i become leader i would make a party every month to pay my fellows back for that they always follow their duty... and always try to have fun

Absolutely Reproduced Answer of an Imagining of NINJA's Mind:
There's too much sand in the desert. Using my secret ninja training, I would make everyone put the sand in little jars, and sell them to raise money to buy a jelly-like substance to replace the sand with.

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4. Suppose another faction decides that it's out to kill members of the guard. What do you do as leader?
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RANA:
First of all i gonna see witch tribe it is then do a quick overlook and try to see the reason why they attack us....call for their leader and talk with him/her then i call all my Dungeons together with swords drawn...tell them whats going on and spread all out and make it safe for our Sultana....if they still attack us we simply kill them.... all....if there is any survival we take them to dungeon and toture them if it´s needed...

Could actually be said by NINJA:
Stare longingly at thier boobies then take a nap. A long one.

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5. If you could have any kind of pet for the dungeon, what would it be? Does that pet breathe fire, acid, or mint frosting?
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RANA:
It is a small icedragon... born in the cathedral of Wyrms..and it´s gonna breath mintfrosting....cold but soooo fresh

Smells like Teen NINJA:
*snore* *drool* Ninnja boobiess....

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6. What do you enjoy about being a Dungeon Guard, as opposed to being a member of the another faction?
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RANA:
It´s a simple question..... We are the best... we have an important duty to follow... to protect the Sultana ,the citizens, that mission makes us treat others with respect.. I´m proud to be a Dungeon... besides i would be devestated to walk around as a smelly beduin with all those flies around my head hehe

Pretty sure this is NINJA:
"Guard" rhymes with "Hard"... I like Hard Nipples...

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7. Any final thoughts for Ireem?
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RANA:
My dream is to be there with no lag at all And i just want all to have fun... always and i do my best to create funny things for me and all i know in Ireem.

I swear I heard NINJA say:
Has anyone seen Phox Sillanpaa? Ringo Villota want to know anything about Phox... yeah, the Chronicles is like, the best paper ever.... with the sexiest editor..... she's got some nice boobies....
helps her keep a breast of current events... ha ha.. get it?