The Ireem Chronicles

(Chronicles) Thank you for speaking to us Peter. You are known as one of the more eccentric person around in Ireem. How would you describe yourself, to the readers of the Chronicles?

(Peter Gunther Hausmann the Fourth) Ja, I am Peter Gunther Hausmann the Fourth, Head of Research at the Magi Tower. I am the author of "Transtemporal blink-level teleportation using a Nerul array replacing a base crystalline array normally used for algorythmic teleportation using a basic Morda series," and I am seeking control over the Tower. Many feel I am eccentric, but I simply feel that few understand what I am working on, which, if my calculations are correct, will revolutionize the way magic is utilized in our society."

Do you feel that becoming the leader of the magi will help your research? Or do you think that doing all those amazing research will help you perform the role of Head of Magi?

"Having control over the Tower and the Magi order will strengthen my bargaining power for funding. We Magi exist in a strenuous relationship with the local authorities at times, and there is a constant struggle to obtain the necessary funding for my work. I require a constant supply of alchemical bases and rare metals to conduct my work in crystal field theory, and due to inadequate funding, I am not able to progress as quickly as I would like. I feel that, if I speak for the Magi order, I will be able to get what I need. And once I have made my breakthrough in the Morda series algorithm, I feel all Magi will benefit, as ley-structures will be set to a state where they can be easily manipulated using gaustra-type crystal arrays."

If you become the leader, what would be your first priority?

Obtaining further funding so I can complete my research and helping other Magi enhance their own mana-usage using the ley-line network I have been attempting to set up throughout the surrounding areas. With this in place, I feel the magical potential of every mage using ley-based sorcery would be enhanced by at least 150%. I don't know what effects it might have on the Djinn or undead, but I believe that they will not be affected in any major way.

Speaking the djinn and the undead, there are always seem to be a somewhat strain relationship between them and the magi in general. Would you do anything, as the leader of magi, to ease that relation?

The undead are a fascinating phenomenon; I would love to have an opportunity to study them, although I do not see any changes in our relationship coming. They are violent and dangerous, and while fascinating, I do not wish to become involved with them any more than necessary. As for the Djinn, I have friends and enemies in the Djinn community. I find that each Djinn is defined by their independence, so any gross attempt to make any changes in the relationship with that community would be futile- I would have to befriend each Djinn, which I doubt is likely.

That is a very enlightening thought. I am sure that echo a lot of the magi community. As a long standing member of the group, what do you see as the biggest issue or problem faced by the Magi currently

There is no real sense of coherence within the Magi order. This makes sense, as it is a loose assembly of scholars and mages, each with their own agendas and specialties, but I feel if we could create a more unified order, we could hold more political sway. However, due to the scattered nature of our work, I do not see that happening.

To follow that up, would you say the magi, as a group, should have more sway in the affair of Ireem, and the general daily life and grinds of people in here?

That largely depends on my work. If I am able to make the breakthrough with the Morda series, life for everyone will change, even the commoners. Magic will become much more commonplace, and it will be far easier to manipulate magical fields without requiring years of training. However, until that point, I feel that we are content where we are. That being said, we are not always cloistered in our tower. You see Magi every day, buying food at the market, drinking at the pub. Despite our profession, we still mingle with the people, and depend on them for a great number of services. So I would say we are already rather involved with the common folk, although I wish to pass on the message that my will is to help the common folk. I help keep the alchemy store supplied with all manner of rare potions that help cure diseases and treat wounds. My will towards the common folk is one of compassion and fellowship, and I think many Magi feel that way.

On a slight different subject, we have been hearing a of whispers from some member of the magi community who was question the way Sultana is ruling the city and quite opening question the political system we have in place. What is your stance on that, and where would the magi group's loyalty lies if you become the leader?

My job is not to determine individual Magi's political views. We have Magi who believe the Sultana is doing a good job, and Magi who believe that they should be the Sultana. Officially, the Magi were granted the tower as a gift in return for services rendered in advising and assisting the Sultana, and our relationship is based upon that trust. However, times have changes, and the political relationship is... Complicated. I will just state that my interest lies in obtaining more funding, and leave it at that.

Thank you very much of your time Peter. Would you like to sum up your campaign in one statement?

Yes. A vote for me is a vote for progress. The Magi hold the keys to a better future, which can only be achieved through generous funding and full cooperation with the local authorities, but the rewards will be reaped by generations to come. Thank you.

(Chronicles) Thank you for coming over and speak to us! Let’s get started. Is there anything you'd like our readers to know about you before we ask you the difficult questions?

(Ash Doomsayer) Hmm, yes! I am a good Family Father, People tell me I am Handsome and...i have a big Sword

I'm sure the readers will rest easy at night knowing their potential chapel father is an adapt fighter. Why do you feel you'd make a good leader for the Priest Community?

I was the Knight Leader and it was better with me as now. I was a Priest before I was Knight and always worked under the Order of our Gods. I translated the Holy Book for the simple Citizen and I try to collect all Priests and Priestesses to work together. Ireem and Samhara are holy Places, full with magical Creatures and we Priests share their Tales and Stories with the People on the Street. I am sure, I am good enough to bring back the Believes and the Gods' Words to out Kind. People need something they can believe in and a Father for everything, maybe they choose me.

That's very noble and a compelling story. I speak on behalf of all those magical that we, um, appreciate your desire to become a storyteller along with your fatherhood. You mentioned you'd like to see those of the clothed work together. Can you elaborate on that for our readers?

Well I give them the Holy Book and let them read it and share with the common People of Ireem, if I meet a new Priest or Priestess I help them with Questions and invite them into our Priesthood. I doubt there are others that do this for the Priesthood

Now that you mention it, I don't think I have see much of recruitment. Do you have any other visions you'd like to see for the chapel?

Yes we should get some Holy Days!!! One Idea was like day of the Dead...every Citizen goes tot he Catacombs and we present Flowers on the Entrance of the Home of the Undeads and pray that they find finally their Peace. Or that every Guy paints their Balls with different Colors and the Females have to search the prettiest Painting. Maybe we should call it Eastern Week or something like that...

That’s. ….wonderful. I'm sure you'd make it a joyous and festive occasion for actual blue balls. So let me give you a scenario. If you saw a half naked wounded woman laying on the chapel door steps, what would you do?

[Thinks shortly] Well I would tell her I am married and she should ask a Priest for her dirty Desires... Some strange Women like to be slapped ...I would slap them too, but we have this nice Crosses in the Desert which we could use. Yes, it is difficult to help everyone, this is why I am standing at the Gate and share my Bread and Beer to the People that are Hungry [looks proud]. At least everyone needs a Father...a Stone to lean on or a Cave to hide and feel safe

Very enlightening. Is there anything else you'd like to add for our readers benefits

The Goddess of Intelligence, Zin Ray will bless all the Readers of the Chronicles. If they choose me as Priest Leader, I will try my Best to bring the Gods' Words to our City, I will help those who need Help and sacrifice all those, that are against our beloved City and I am sure the Chronicles will choose the Gods' Way and Decisions

Dear Granny,

I am a young man of 22 years old. I work as a baker and have fallen in love with a Bedouin woman who visited our establishment everyday. We get on well and she demands a lot of sex every night I visit her tent. When we make love, which is every night, she has multiple orgasms after only a few minutes of sex and we usually get complain from other people in the nearby tent for the noise. Recently she has introduced me to her sisters and friends, giving me nickname such as “Woody” and “Stud O’More”. The problem is I feel she is just using me for my body, and I found her name calling embarrassing and humiliating. What should I do?

(Granny) First, you need to come up to the Magi Tower and see me and let me verified your claim of of multiple orgasms. Granny work for this stupid paper for free so I need all the perks that I can get.

As to your dilemma, you are actually in a classic situation which often the preserve of the women across the land where men just used us for sex and calling us all sort of names like “hunny” or “bishes” thinking it’s cute. Well it’s not. Most relationships are all about sex to start with, and in my marriages, usually sex that end with too.

Beside that point, I think your “friend” is actually suffering from a problem of what I classified as “Getting Old”. You see, with people who suffering from “Getting Old”, they like to do things to recapture their youth, maybe hunt a few slaves, or sold their whole clan to some spineless fairy dog for some coins, or in your friend’s case, being a horny bitch and hump a young stud non stop and humiliate him (Ed: erm…. Pot calling kettle black here…..).

As a woman of similar age…. (Ed: You sure about that granny???) I can totally understand why she does such things. She is probably footloose, and fancy herself being free and horny in her middle age, with some handsome young men who could offer multiple orgasms every night….. you know what, you should just shoot that bitch and come to visit Granny tonight for some more personal advice.

Granny Robyn, wishing you all to live a healthy and active life in Ireem

(disclaimer: the view of the columnist do not reflect on the view of the Chronicles)

The Chronicles can report there will be another election coming up soon in Ireem

It's been a long time since the Physicial Office in the city being run by somebody and it has been decided that in the latest round of meeting between the senior physicians that we will elect a Doctor to run the Office.

The Physician Office is an important insititue to Ireem, serving not only the citizen but also others living around our city, open to all those who seek medical help in time of need. We are hoping that the person who runs it will honour such tradition and with intergrity.

Those who believe they are qualify for this job, please sign up to the election board outside the office. In addition to that, please submit your resume and reference to the Chronicles, or a candidate statement as to why the citizens of Ireem should be voting for you.

Here is the letter from Corum in reply to Anonymous Knight's Spokesperson, printed in its original form as requested by the sender:

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Dear Anonymous,
First, I must say that the Knights should find someone of courage to be their public spokesman/woman. Signing a document “Anonymous Spokesman for the Knights” does look bad politically for them all. If they all agree with the comments, it should be “The Knights.” If it’s just one fractious individual, the honorable thing is to put your name on the document and face the consequences. I don’t think your new Imperatrix would do much. I doubt you’d even have to give a public apology.
By signing “Anonymous Spokesman for the Knights,” you place all the shame of your childish tirade on Imperatrix Avery. As the Knight leader, she must shoulder the burden of all the knights’ ills. She must right wrongs of all the knights, discipline the unwieldy, question the suspect. She is responsible for all the knights—the shining and brilliant, the back-stabbing and lollygagging, the sly plotters and the overwrought. That’s just basic leadership.
Now, for my part, I apologize if my optimism blinded me to the seriousness of this terrible, terrible crime wave. I stand corrected. I provided a list of seven criminals who have gone uncaptured and untried for crimes dating as far back as November and as recent as March 28th. ((Check the Website while you’re checking my math, I stopped at the top seven criminals and could have provided higher totals.)) Overwhelmed by patriotism and my faith in the knights, I underestimated the power and influence of the thieves.
If only I coulf (sic) turn a blind eye to the fiscal losses of myself and my fellow store owners and, instead, focus of the hope promised by the election of Avery to the Imperatrix position over the knights. But, there are @43,000g worth of New Crimes (as opposed to PAST crimes in which the culprits have been caught and tried or otherwise taken off the books) staring at me. This is a lowball estimate and I would gladly accept an accurate and more likely higher count from “Anon.” as that dear knight has nothing better to do than math. Some of these crimes date back to September and many were committed in the last few days.
As a favor for all the knights “Anon” speaks for,

I’ll expand my “Most Wanted” list to a Top Ten.

1. Dita Applewhyte @ 6700g stolen in NEW crimes
2. Delian Snowpaw @ 5000g stolen in NEW crimes
3. Myrna Baxton @ 4800g stolen in NEW crimes
4. Switchblade Daine 4000g stolen in NEW crimes
5. Deja Greymoon @ 3000g stolen in NEW CRIMES
6. Budoken Fell @ 2300g stolen in NEW crimes
7. Keiel Tempest @ 2300g stolen in NEW crimes
8. Dasani Cyberstar @ 2200g stolen in NEW crimes.
9. Sylvia Forzane @2200g stolen in NEW crimes
10. Palmira Bluebird @ 1813g stolen in NEW crimes.

Good Sir Knight Mathias Brucoto did the city of a favor and caught Rhianna Wickentower. Hip Hip Hoo-Ray! A knight did his job.
Whether she was tried or sold to Sae for his nourishment, I did not stay to see.
As you can see Rhianna, like Renickor Dartmouth and Badboy Luv , is a small-timer barely worthy of mention compared to the real high rollers of Ireem. I congratulate Budoken Fell for being the only male to make that list.
I apologize for pointing out Rhianna, Renickor and Badboy as criminals worthy of the attention of the knights. Clearly, they are not. They made no mathematical errors in subtracting from the hard-earned funds of the shop keepers of the city. Only moral errors, which Anon shows us are not the concern of the Knights.
I thank “Anonymous Spokesman of the Knights” for stirring me to deeper investigation of the unbridled crime wave in the city. Knowing the situation more fully convinces me of the urgency of the issue. What I would like to see—as stated in my previous letter—is for the Store Owners to band together to put healthy bounties on the city’s worst criminals to encourage the general public to participate in the capture of these villains.
I do not fully understand “Anon’s” complaints against the plan. If my wife or her employees collects any of the money, the coin will be given in exchange for the criminal, a simple and above board transaction ((regulated by the SGS System and the bounty boards.)) Any citizen would be able to collect the bounties. I would assume knights could collect the bounties as well, unless the Imperatrix forbids such a thing. If that be her will, the project would give knights time to do the math to see that criminals are committing crimes while the common people show courage and honor defeating the thieves.

CORUM, the Mathematically Challenged.

Welcome to the Chronicles, Tim. Let's get straight to the subject matter. Since the Magi Council announces there will be a magi conclave to select the new leader, you have been tip as one of the favourite, and no surprise to us all, you have sign up to it. Are you confident that you are will win the election?

(Tim Speiser) Confident? I wouldn't say that. Elections often come down to a popularity contest and you never know what will happen. I will put forth my ideas and plans to my fellow Magi and hope for the best.

And would you like to share some of those plan to our readers?

Of course. My first goal is to bring the Magi back in touch with their history. The Magi of this city are descended from some of the most powerful Magi to ever live. Our ancestors created a weapon that destroyed an entire land mass! Yet now we roam the sands alone, rarely joining our powers or sharing knowledge. I hope to change that for the better.

That's very admirable. Certainly myself don't know too much about the magi other than they can make me feel suicidal very quickly. Do you have any plan to help promote this lack of knowledge among the citizens?

The first priority will be to bring the Magi themselves back in touch with this history, no small feat I can tell you. After that we will work on spreading things further. I have several ideas working and have spoken to the knights leadership and The Sultana regarding them.

And I assume the Chronicles will be hearing about them when you are ready too. Now, let me go to the more awkward question, and believe me i hate asking this too. What made you think you should be the leader of the magi?

I wouldn't say that I should. In fact when the council met I voted against a single leader. However the other magi felt one was needed. I have experience, being the last Magi to carry the title of Shalifi (leader). I will let the Magi decide if I should be leader or not.

That's all good, but seriously, do you see there is any other better candidate within the group, whether or not they have submitted to the candidacy?

If I did not think I was the best candidate then I would not offer my services.

So, not having to know what your relationship with other candidates, are we expecting a lot of mug flinging antics between the candidates during the campaigns, or would you expect otherwise?

One can never know such things. Speaking only for myself I will say no. I have no need to do those types of things. I will let the Magi judge me based on my ideas, If they do not like those ideas and chose another to lead them then so be it. I know you at The Chronicles pray for a nasty dirty election, after all that makes good news. I would simply say that if someone resorts to such tactics it is only because they cannot stand on their ideals alone.

Oh I wouldn't say we pray for one. We are a action orientated group so we will be actively create one...... but let's leave that aside for a moment. What kind of things do you thing the electorate will be looking for in the Leader?

I think they want a leader that can bring some purpose back to their day to day lives, while at the same time not infringing on their personal freedom. It is a tall order and will require a subtle touch.

One of the things I have heard recently is the backstreet whispers against Sultana's rule in the city and demanding a change in the political system in Ireem. If you become the leader of Magi, would you take the group toward that direction? Where would your loyalty lies?

The ancestors I spoke of earlier served the Perzian Empire. The Magi in this city have a tower to study in, the freedom to pursue their studies because of the Sultana and her honord fathers. I have no intention of standing against her. On the contrary as magi leader I would actively support her right to rule.

Very good, as a member of the court I will certainly please to know which side you are on. Is there anything you would like to add or say to our readers regarding your candidacy?

I would advise the Magi to choose well. Consider the plans and positions of each candidate, then chose the person that you think will be best for all Magi in Ireem.

Thank you very much Tim. Chronicles wish you the best of luck in the upcoming election

Thank you for your time

(Chronicles) So, Ms. Brucato, please tell me a little about yourself?

(Carly) Well, first maybe I should introduce myself to those who do not know me. I was found on the docks by my Mother Enigma, along with my Brother Mache. While Mache has been dropped on his head too many times, he has attempted to live a good and pure life. However the head dropping, at times, seems to interfere. Since Ireem was a dangerous place at that time, Eni decided it would be best that I be hidden in the Harem for my own safety.

What of your time there, within the Harem?

The Countess Page took me into the Harem, where I lived for a long period of time. As I grew, it was clear that Harem life was not meant for me. When I left the Harem, I was confused, mixed with anger on how I was ejected. Those closest to me knew the inner turmoil that I was suffering. Demons and evil thoughts fought within with what I knew was good, and how I was raised, and the influences of my family and my friends. Then one day I stood in the tall tower over the Arena, and over the court... with my life having no meaning, and no direction. I looked to the sky and the sun, and then a Light shown off the Temple..and surrounded me... I felt warm, my mind was clear, and focused. There was a bright light in my mind...a clear path, the Light of Zin Ray was within me. I knew then that my entire life was as it was for a purpose, to serve the Goddess and spread her word in our city and to the heathens of the desert.

Tell us why you feel you would be best to lead the other followers of Zin Ray, who travel the same path you seem to have found?

Some are just evil, they wish to pervert our beliefs for their personal satisfaction. Recently, our religion has been tossed to the side in the life of our city. Religion has no place in the day to day life here. We are not noticed, not acknowledged. In the Harem, it was my goal to help all. I had worked hard in the Chapel to bring the evil ones to an acceptance of good and right. Even then, I did not realize it, but my life was pointed to service for the Goddess. We need to bring peace and goodness back to Ireem. We need to help the Palace reconnect with the people of Ireem. We need to bring the slavers some level of basic decency. Even the Undead can have a place in society, as long as they respect the basic beliefs of our people.

How do you plan to do that, Ms. Brucato?

I am not a fighter, and all know that. I have tried to stay on friendly terms with all. Goodness is within all, it just takes time to reach it. It is our mission to reach all and establish that the Religious Faction of this City is to be respected and acknowledged. We have a place in this city and it is not to be ignored or walked over. The Goddess put us here to help direct the people and the Palace and together we will make our messages clear, and understood. Even if special measures are needed to *convince* some that they need to see the Light.

Any parting words for our readers, Ms. Brucato?

For the voters, I want to make clear; we are not just some group of quiet ones, to be ignored. Our time is here. It is time to make that clear to all. *Smiles innocently.*