The Ireem Chronicles

We heard that you've tried to uncover our identities, Citizens, and we have two words for you. Red. Herring. Disappointing that you would so easily let it lead you off course. Strike one, citizens. Other than horns the only thing we have in common with Flea is our love for milking and getting milked, weather that is our owner or not is not of concern (that's an invitation!).

So, let us tell you who we are. Tracking us down to is futile, we are everywhere and nowhere at once. The harder you try the more elusive we become. We are the faceless ones with the mask of millions.. We are legion. We are watching like hawks and we are always, always better dressed. We like secrets but we don't like keeping them. The more we are quoted the more we are believed.

We are gossip.

So while fish is good for you, we're where the milks at. Would you like to take another guess?

We spawn suspicion. We could be your arch enemies or your closest friend. Paranoid yet?

While you're pondering, pulling out those hair extensions (good riddance, we say. They make your head look like a moldy cucumber), we shall address one anonymous tip.


1. We have no good authority. We weren't wrong when we said that something was amiss in the pirate slaver ranks, Citizens. It seems that MR Sunshine was not only missing, he was a Miss! Looks like those vests do come off, but we can't say that dress was a very good trade off. Don't go rubbing the djinns the wrong way kiddies, they'll curse you and give you a wardrobe malfunction that is as bad as theirs! Trust us when we say somethings are better left in the bottle.

Looks like those Zafirah thieves made a big impression though. Any more pilfering hands and the fatted calf would have turned boney. But all is well that ends well. As they say, even after an Ink spill such as that. We heard about touch and go, but this was a hit and miss


2.Thank you for your contribution, Citizens. About that note one of your number left for our last article, Please sharpen your quill. Gossip is serious business. Naked bag men? We'll pass on the nudity. We'll pass on the men and do a switch alla Am. But bags will lead us to this question.

What's more fashionable then the embroided veil this season? Babies. Yes citizens they're popping up everywhere. Anyone who's anyone has to have one under arm. Personally the stink of used diapers is getting to us...


3.Have you spotted the theme yet?
For those slow ones let us spell it out for you. Zafirah. From it's thieves we now move on to its leaders. Us goats salute M and let us meet them who now walk in her shadow. A quick change of hands recently from MB to J. At least this new leader got rid of her slaver quickly. Rest assured we'll be watching out for more good things to add.

Once again Citizens, got a gripe? No balls? Drop us a parchment. We'll do your voicing out for you. And we'll do a better job of it, too.

xoxo GG

(Ed: Once again, the editor would like to stress that all these gossips does not represent the Chronicles in anyway. Though we did laugh out loud in the office when we read it)