The Ireem Chronicles

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Look alive citizens of Ireem. Time for a new sort of reporting. Hold on to your hair extensions( yes, you too boys), pin up that veil because things around here are going to be really shaken up. Forget sugar, spice, and everything nice. We're here to get right down to the nitty gritty. Ever heard a rumor you can't verify? Ever heard news you feel like ranting about? Ever seen silks on someone that look unfit to even wipe Hora Ma's bum? Voicing it out is our self professed job now. Someone ought to do it. Call us social commentary with a fashion sense. Call us gossip-mongers or paparazzi. Call us anything you want, but we'd rather prefer to go by the title, "Gossip Goats."


So what do we do, you might ask?

Well, basically, we chew stuff. We chew them hard and spit them out like yesterday's moldy leftovers. Be very careful who you feed your news to. One might see them spat out on the front covers of today's edition of the Chronicles... Did I mention we also bleat? Oh yes, we bleat hard! Listen to our cries of Meeeee! as we chorus our way around Ireem.

A word of caution to those who dare try to capture us though.Our pointy horns aren't meant for display only.

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Now that we got the introductions all cleared up, it's now on to the chewing business of the day

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, time to get your jollies off these pretty little slavers, take a shot in the dark and guess who they are:

1.Spotted, S making the switch from pirate rags to pet in uniform. We'd say you look handsome, only we were wondering who's bright idea it was to let you make that switch. After all the trouble you've caused? Don't tell us it's magic perfume again.Speaking of which it's going take a barrel full to cover up that stench of yours. A leopard cannot change it's spots as they say. Looks like this one can't even change his socks.

2.Do you hear that citizens? That is the sound of absent wedding bells. Were you just as disappointed as we were that M did not tie the knot with his lady Magi? No? Truth be told there's no disappointment here either. We wonder if it was it's the donkey that got in the way.... M doesn't like donkeys much it seems, he'd rather milk goats- and we're not complaining.

3.Talk about sowing your wild oats in all the wrong places. Which hole in wall has K run off to now? Or do you think he's done an S and traded in his pirate threads for something else? Builder tools perhaps,? at the rate of juniors popping up claiming his surname he'll be needing a kidergarten soon enough.

4.There's nothing better then slavers in the morning. That usually means they're out of your bed and out of your life. Speaking of mornings has anyone seen that ray of sunshine Am anywhere lately? Hmm...that's one mystery we'd like to solve. We do so love rolling our eyes when he goes pass. Those vests. Do they ever come off ? Come on don't be a tease!
What you think people does he look better with them off? The jury's still out on that.


5.And what can we say to our final slaver but GET OFF THAT BENCH! You know who you are. You're spoiling the view you lazy bum!

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And thats it for the day. We said we'd give you the spill not the all feel. Your job to figure it out lovelies.Until our next meeting, Citizens. Be careful what you say on the sands. You'd never know who's listening and needs milking!

Kisses
From, Your friendly- noisy- neighborly- anonymous gossip-mongers, GG

P.S Citizens, we're buddies now right? Buddies share secrets.Don't forget to milk the goats. After all what would we ever do without you!

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(Disclaimer: This is a new feature, writen by our guest columnist. By no mean it reflect the opinion of Chronicles etc etc..... and before anyone go hunt down and milk Flea, she is not one of the Gossip Goats, despite her love of gossip. I mean, think about it, how can Flea picks up a pen and write?)