We the Knights, in order to support all who are victims of crimes, created an "OFFICIAL COMPLAINT IREEM KNIGHTS".
I ask, please, that when you are victims of any crime, fill this form and submit to a Knight or Palace Guard, we'll investigate and find the best way to solve the problem.
Remembering that we are here to maintain security and peace in our beloved city!
Commander Milly - Knight
Name of Offender:
Type of Offence:
Date of offence:
Place of offence took place:
Witness, if yes write the name please:
Plaintiff name and signature:
Verdict:
The first round started with following opponents:
Fight 1. Beast Theas vs. Dinky Wingtips
Fight 2. BigPapa Yifu vs. Andre Suen
Fight 3. Urso Kronage vs. minihai Ames
Fight 4. Caraya Beeswing vs. LaDana Ruby
Fight 5. Am Demina vs. Brittainy Collins
Fight 6. shevaunn Clarity vs. Quint Spirt
Fight 7. Caren Zuta vs. Jordinna McGinnis
The fighters agreed on a weapon and battled for a spot into the next round, to get one step closer to the title " Champion of Ireem", a reward of 2000 Dinar and a royally approved kind of extra extra safety for their camp !
People were eagerly betting and the host of the event, Miss Una Flux had a lot of fun herself. Rumors say she was a little drunk, as she always misspoke the name of the knight Urso, but an anonymous source told me, she was distracted because she could smell the fresh blood of the knight ! //* Editorial note: Pffft, in my personal opinion this was just her undead way to show him her disrespect! We all know, undeads and knights don't get along! She cannot smell the blood from humans.....can she ??!!??!*//
Because of an odd number the losers of round one were fighting for a spot in the next round, Jordina McGinnis knocked them all out and made it. The host Una got message that Miss Minihai suddenly disappeared (This still has to be investigated ! This happened in the past tournaments with other fighters too !!) and so they had another fight to even out again. This time slaver Andre Suen made it and the next round started with following combinations:
Fight 1. LaDana Ruby vs. Am Demina
Fight 2. Andre Suen vs. Caren Zuta
Fight 3. Jordinna McGinnis vs. Quint Spirt
Fight 4. BigPapa Yifu vs. Dinky Wingtips
Am beat LaDana easily, Caren of course did the same to Andre and Jordi kicked Quints‘ butt aswell.
At this point, I wanted to leave the tournament to dry my tears of frustration and anger. But of course as I am aware of my duties as a reporter I stayed, so I could write about the rest of the event aswell.
The semi final was the last round for Am, who got beaten by Caren and Jordi, who got beaten by Bigs. As I could enjoy his skills by myself in our fight, I was not so sure anymore, if Caren would be able to stay the champion of Ireem.
Ireem and its environs face a rising crisis, crime. With the Knights always busy starting fights with the Undead and the Bedouins, the citizenry and business owners are left vulnerable to pickpocketing and robbery. One report has it that a monkey has been employed in this Thievery.
This past weekend the people of Ireem were all invited to the first event in the city arena since it was taken over by Una Flux, in the name of the undead. The event seemed to be a thundering success right from the start. There were over a dozen people entered in the first event and twice that many spectators lining the walls of the pit. The following is my recollection of the events….
The events started with a free for all, last man standing match. Seventeen brave fighters entered the contest. The action was fast paced and brutal. There were fighters running and jumping everywhere, it reminded this reporter of a swarm of angry wasps. When the dust settled the Bedouin, Velvet Hamelin was the victor. Rumor has it that her prize was over 6,000 Dinar!
Following this fight Una announced that the grudge matches would begin. I found myself surprised but not shocked to hear that my own sweet innocent wife Dinky would be fighting Jordi in the first match. It seems there was some sort of disagreement over who exactly owned a certain pair of boots. The betting was opened and everyone flocked to place their bets. Dinky and Jordi faced off in the arena and shouted back and forth about these boots. The fight was short and sweet, My sexy Dinky easily defeated the foul undead!
Everyone stood mouths agape as I collected my winnings, over 2,500 Dinar. The secret is now out, Dinky has been training!
More grudge matches followed in which: Am defeated Sheva, Following which Tusk defeated Sheva and forced her to strip naked in front of everyone. Apparently running the event was too boring because the next fight was Phox against Una. Una lost badly, this may explain her later behavior. The final grudge match was Between Jordi and Tusk, which Jordi won.
After the grudge matches Una announced that she had a surprise to mark the grand opening of the arena. The gates were opened and two disgusting beats were led into the pit. This reporter looked on, horrified, as one by one Velvet Hamelin, LaDana Ruby and Caren Zuta were tossed into the pit to face the wrath of the beasts. There were two rumors whispered through the crowd about why Una would have such a thing done. The first is that she was upset after losing her fight to Phox. Personally I discount this theory as Phox was not one of her victims. The second theory, and far more likely, is simply that she is undead. Behavior such as this should be expected from them.
Whatever the reason, and despite this monstrous ending, the games appeared to be a resounding success. If you were unable to attend you missed an entertaining afternoon. Una has said that the next event will be announced soon, so keep one eye on the chronicles for information, and one eye over your shoulder so you don’t find yourself the next poor soul to be tossed to the beasts!
*Editorial note: If anyone happens to see BigPapa Yifu, also known as Bigz, please show some sympathy and toss him a few coins. Bigz was overcome by the excitement and perhaps bet more then he should have. Remember kindness is a virtue. I am sure he would appreciate any scraps of food you have left over.
Saturday, 28th August at 12 noon we will throw open our doors. There will be music and dancing for your entertainment.
Try our coffee fresh from Turkey or try your hand at snake charming, see if you have what it takes to make the cobra dance!
The fun starts at 12 Noon come along and sample our Turkish Delights !
Alina Furuseth, Owner
Dear Citizen of Ireem !
The Blue Parrot Tavern is having its grand opening Thursday, August 26th at 5.30 P.M.SLT.
Come drink, listen to music, and enjoy the beautiful dancers! The tavern is located on the east docks of Kashkar facing Ireem, with a parrot sitting on a perch outside.
Damien Nadir, Owner
Ireemians !
Head Cook: In charge of preparing menus for the coffee house, sourcing ingredients and holding at least one cooking class per month for those who wish to learn the finer art of Arabian cooking.
Hosts/hostesses: Primary function it to welcome customers into the establishment and to ensure they enjoy their stay. You will also be required to host events at least once per month.
Entertainers needed: dancers and musicians to dance and play for customers. must be able to commit to at least one 1 hour slot per week.
Security: Looking for at least 1 security officer who will be in charge of all security in the Cafe including protecting staff and property. Someone who is not eaily intimdated and willing to work with the knights when necessary.
If interested please contact Alina Furuseth in the first instance.
It has been brought to the attention of The Chronicles, by several concerned Knights, that many of the laws governing our great city are going ignored. There are many newcomers that may not be familiar with the laws and penalties for breaking them, also there seem to be many long time citizens that ignore......errr.....forget, yeah forget, the laws. As a special favor to The Knights we have agreed to publish the Laws and Penalties for them again......
Laws and Fines of Ireem (Revised)
1. Threat against the Sultana: SG$1000 or arrest and 5 days in jail.
2.Murder: SG$2000 or 5 days in jail or execution (In extreme cases).
3. Assault: SG$200 or 2 days in jail
--- SG$400 for sexual assault or 3 day in jail.
4. Drawn sword in the city: SG$20 or 1 hour in the jail. (This mainly counts for inside businesses)
--- Self-Defense: legal but only if you are being attacked, just don't keep your sword drawn
5. Stealing: SG$100 plus amount stolen or 1 day in jail.
--- This goes for a robbery of a business.
6. Pickpocketing: SG$ 20 plus amount stolen or 1 hour in jail
--- The same law applies for attempted pickpocket if proven.
7. Trespassing: SG$40 or 2 hours in jail
--- Trying to lock pick a till of a business that you do not own or are not employed to.
--- Being in a place that has been specifically restricted to the public.
--- Being in the palace illegally (Harem and Throne room): SG$100 or 1 day in jail.
8. Public Drunkenness: SG$10 or jail until sober.
9. Arming a slave with a weapon of any kind.. (whip.. chains.. swords.. knives..): Slave arrest, and Master/Mistress Fined SG$400
10. Shouting near the city that is not for help: SG$20 or 1 hour in jail.
11. Accusing someone of breaking these or other laws without proof: SG$15 or 1 hour in jail.
12. Naked inside the city walls: SG$25 or 1 hours in jail.
13. Causing damage to others property: SG$200 or 2 days in jail.
(Fines may change with inflation)
There you have it good readers, do not say you were not warned!
Attention Ireem!
First on the Agenda: Sunday, August 22rd at 'High Noon' SLT
Also, a new service for the Citizens of Ireem. For those of you unable to weild a weapon of your own, or perhaps those who need their true nature concealed, you may now contact Una Flux to have a person, or other creatures wandering about, captured for you. Of course there is a catch. Any captives caught will be used purely for entertainment purposes in the Arena. (Restrictions apply and terms are soley based on Undead discretion).
Una Flux, Arena Chief Manager
Bending once more over the scroll she dips the quill into the ink sitting upon the table before and begins to write, recalling the words of praise: "Praise be to Hora Ma - The beneficent queen - The creator of the universe - Goddess of the three worlds - Who set up the firmament without pillars in its stead - And who stretched out the earth even as a bed - and grace, and prayer-Blessing be upon our goddess - Goddess of Undead and darkened men - And upon her family and companion train -Prayer and blessings enduring and grace which unto the day of doom shall remain - Amen! - O thou of the three worlds sovereign!"
She stands and brushes her hand over the scroll sealing her words upon the parchment. She watches as the words glow bright red before settling back to their inky black. Rolling the scroll up and tieing it with a silken ribbon she hands it to one of her dancers. "Deliver this to Dinky or Tim at the Chronicle and make Haste!"Note: the quote in this was rewritten per creative license of the writer. The actual quote can be found in the first story of the Arabian Nights.
Dear Ireemians !
The Blue Parrot Tavern is now open for business and hiring bartenders and dancers!
Ran by the former owner of the 'Slaves Head Inn', Damien Nadir, the Blue Parrot Tavern is located in Kashkar, settled on the eastern banks, facing the city of Ireem.
All are welcome to enjoy the famous rum, and the exciting atmosphere.
Employment offers great tips and all the alcohol they can drink.
Damien Nadir, Owner
Chronicles Staff: What turns you on?
Ferren Skytower: A good sense of humor, and a kind heart with just a bit of whimsical mischief mixed in are traits that attract my attention. Magical play and good conversation are always fun. I'm a bit of a bibliophile, which is why I picked the library for my portrait. Also, I really like women's breasts. They're nice and soft and fun to play with.
Chronicles Staff: What turns you off?
Ferren Skytower: Violence without cause and cruelty are a sure way to earn my scorn.
Chronicles Staff: If you could have sex with anyone in Ireem who would it be?
Ferren Skytower: Swift as the wind,
She glides though Ireem,
A quick flash of blue hair,
Sometimes all that is seen.
Chronicles Staff: Who in Ireem would you least like to have sex with?
Ferren Skytower: Anyone with a cruel heart.
Chronicles Staff: Tell us something embarrassing about yourself.
Ferren Skytower: One time as a joke, someone stuck some potatoes on my horns while I was sleeping. I didn't realize they were there until the next day, when I sat in a fire to meditate. Something smelled delicious. They made a nice supper, at least.
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