The Ireem Chronicles

(pic: eye witness' painting of the grapist)

The Chronicles can report that a series of attacks in the Ireem by a Grapist

The attacker, who according to eyewitness, shared a strong resemblances with the owner of the Fatted Calf, cornered his victim in the city, and then proceed the assaults in front of a number of witnesses. In the typical fashion of Ireem, most witnesses didn’t attempt to halt the graping, and instead just stood and watch in amusement. Dressing in purple grape-like outfit, he was seen running around and terrorising the city all night with his graping. “It was so scary,” one eye witness said to our reporter, “I was just walking in the city and all the sudden this grapist tried to grab me and told me he would grape me in the mouth!”

Another victim, who we will protected her identity and referred her as “The Fluffy Fae”, was threaten to be “tied to the radiator and grape for weeks and weeks”. She was accused by the grapist that she was asking for it because of what she was wearing. “I was only wearing purple,” the Fluffy Fae told our reporter in her sobbing voice, “Women should be allow to wear what they want without fearing to be grape!”

The Knight’s spokesperson issued this brief statement, “We would like to warn all the citizen to be careful and watch out for this grapist. There is also no evidence that the owner of the Fatted Calf is indeed the grapist. So please do not speculate until we have further evident.”